Chapter 53
Rafe
The fight left my body the moment Lina pressed her naked flesh to my face. Her softness, her scent, everything that’s her, yanking me out the madness and into her calming orbit.
I knew the moment I stepped into my office what happened.
Lina’s emotions got the better of her and she jumped, but not before my brother clearly went in after her, and like the good man he is, got her back safely.
We know, as time travellers, our clothes are stripped from us, and whilst he would’ve treated her with dignity and respect, I couldn’t help the burning sting of jealousy seeing his strong body wrapped around hers. Shielding her.
That’s my job.
Going for him was natural reaction. The wrong one. But natural. Our fight was more than that though. But knowing he’s seen what’s mine makes me want to burn his retinas, brother or not. Every fist I threw was a desperate grab for control over everything they’d upended.
The situation I’m in with Ava, not having Lina, the whole fucked up-ness of it all came to a head and I needed an outlet.
Sam’s face.
It’s what we do. Immature as fuck, but we do it anyway. It was only several years ago, out of nowhere Sam tackled me to the ground, punched me in the chest, kicked me in the bollocks and walked away. Never did find out what that was about.
The way Lina holds me right now calms the fighting blood swarming my veins.
The softness of her, the scent of her skin—gods, the feel of her.
The smooth curve of her breasts, the tight peaks of her nipples brushing against my lips.
The way she holds me, not like a man who lost control, or a monster; but like I’m hers.
I let myself rub against her some more, desperate to consume her warmth. Her shudder makes my throat tighten. She hums, stroking through my hair. I clutch her waist, pulling her closer, like I can crawl inside the shelter of her beautiful body and forget my world going to shit.
The world could burn around us, and I wouldn’t look up.
I don’t deserve her. But gods, I need her.
“Let me fix this,” I mumble, pressing a light kiss to the swell of her breast. “Please don’t say goodbye to me again, Lina, I can’t… can’t take it.”
I want her to tell me it’ll be alright, to promise to stay.
Her body says all that, her mouth and mind does not.
Her sigh is heavy. What I said is selfish, being with me is not what she set out to do.
Her desire was to re-write time so she had her voice back.
The guilt of turning all that upside down eats at me, and I feel rotten.
She presses another kiss to my head and stands, my body leans for her but I stay rooted, watching her grab the bottle of linking serum and sit back down on my lap, her beautiful breasts bouncing to enrapture me. She pops the cork, takes a sip and hands it to me.
Thank the gods.
I guzzle the milky substance and wait for her.
‘I don’t have the right to be angry with you…”
“You do,” I interrupt. “You do, Lina, you get to be angry at me, at Sam, at the whole fucking world. You get to feel that.”
She puts her finger to my lips.
‘No, I don’t. This is all because of me.’ A tear breaks through and runs down her cheek, I wipe it away as she leans into my touch. ‘I did this to you.’
When she puts it like that, yeah, I guess she did.
I rub her bottom lip with my thumb, parting her mouth. “And I… did this to you.”
Our shaky breaths commingle as we come to terms with our actions, even though not malicious, the consequences have been heavy.
‘I don’t want to say goodbye, Rafe.’ Another tear slips down and the back of my own eyes sting. Because, whether she wants to or not, she’s about to say goodbye. ‘But…’
“I know,” I interrupt again, not wanting her to say the final words, because I know them.
She has shit to do. And clearly, so do I.
“I know, baby.” I nod my head, and so does she, both understanding I must let her go. Let her choose herself. Let her gain her freedom.
“Before you go,” I say, pulling her naked breasts back into me, feeding from her strength.
“Thank you for doing what I was too scared to do. Thank you for bringing him back to me. I need you to know how remarkable you are.” The lump in my throat scorches.
“How beautiful and smart and funny you are. How full of light you are. And given the chance, I’d cut anyone down to walk in your shadow and watch you burn so fucking brightly.
” Her sob is broken, choked, and it hits me in my chest. “You gave me something to fight for.” My voice is raw, like my soul. “Something to crawl out the dark for.”
I press my forehead to hers one last time, memorising the way her warmth smells, the hitch of her breath, the faint salt of her tears.
This may be the last thing she’ll give me, and it’ll have to be enough.
She presses a hard kiss to my lips. The kiss speaking a thousand words of love and desperation, guilt and grief.
She leaves my lips cold. My body shivering as she goes. Just like that.
I don’t look up right away. The absence of her is a wound, the air cooling where her warmth was moments ago.
When I finally lift my head, she’s across the room, slipping the linking serum into her pack and for a second she hesitates.
Our eyes meet—hers wet, shining in the dim light.
She’s made her choice. Herself. And I couldn’t be fucking prouder.
I smile, and she smiles back.
Without another word, she turns and walks away, her feet silent on the floorboards. Leaving me there, on my arse, back against the couch, surrounded by the silence she left behind.
And fuck, does it ache.