Chapter 5 - Frustrations
His shift at The Vault the next day felt like nothing other than a grind, the heavy bass and neon lights failing to provide their usual escape.
Callum found himself constantly scanning the VIP section, wishing for a tall beefy man in a bespoke suit with wide shoulders and a narrow waist, only to laugh at the absurdity of the thought; Julian would never set foot in a place like this.
Afterwards, he retreated to a local late-night bar with Leo, where the beer was cheap, and the music offered enough noise to silence his thoughts. Leo caught the distant look in his eyes immediately.
“You're miles away, Cal,” Leo said, nudging him. “You’ve got that 'I’m-about-to-make-a-bad-decision' look about you?” Callum stared into his pint, his eyes welling up with involuntary tears. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m a hot mess.”
Leo wrapped a supportive arm around Callum’s broad shoulders, his voice softening with concern. “Fuck, man, you've got it bad. Don't cry, what's going on?”
“I'm just so interested in this guy,” Callum admitted, “but he's from a completely different world.
Money and success. I can't tell if he's any good for me or if I'm just a temporary distraction from corporate life, a bit of rough from downtown.” He paused, wiping his eyes.
“He’s hot, I fancy him like hell, and I know he's interested in me too, but he's so complex. I don't want some bang, bang, thank you man thing. I want something meaningful Leo, I can see he has depth, but he’s just so goddamned… stiff.”
“Stiff?” Leo laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “So, he's stiff, you're stiff, just get shagging, buddy. “That’s what you gays do, isn’t it?”
“Says the straight but gay-for-pay gym bunny, yeah?” retorted Callum, laughing, which got Leo laughing too. Leo was allegedly straight but had a nice little sideline in both gay go-go and a lucrative OnlyFans channel with titillating gay content, bringing him home a nice regular income.
Their laughter broke the tension, and they hugged, accidentally knocking over Callum’s pint in the process. As they cleaned up, Leo offered some friendly wisdom.
“If he makes you this miserable when he’s not even here, keep your guard up,” Leo grunted.
“But the not knowing is what’s burning you.
So ask him. Once you know how he feels and what he wants, you can make your decision.
I stress the your. It’s what you want, buddy, fuck what he wants.
Or just shag him and go if that’s what you need? ”
Callum felt grateful for the genuine advice. It was time for an honest conversation, but he wondered if someone as guarded as Julian was even capable of expressing real feelings.
Unintentionally, they went rather large on their impromptu night out, downing many beers and both leaving the bar rather drunk.
Callum caught an Uber home because it was past 4 a.m. In the back seat, as he rolled around in his drunken state, he opened WhatsApp and found Julian’s entry in his address book.
He’d been given the number by Julian’s assistant Kerry, but he’d never actually used it.
Would he have the courage to message the Titan?
What could he even say to this man at 4:12 a.m.?
Before he knew it, the car pulled up outside his block.
He quickly stuffed the phone in his pocket and forgot the idea, which was probably the smartest choice.
Back in his apartment, he shrugged off his clothes, drank a big glass of water, collapsed on the bed, and fell instantly into a blissful sleep, dreaming of a huge man with beefy shoulders and green eyes.
***
Saturday 18th January 25
The sun rose and progressively cut through the thin curtains of Callum’s bedroom like a blade of light, eventually hitting his face, rousing him from sleep.
He groaned. His mouth felt dry; his head was spinning.
Jeez, how much did he and Leo drink last night…
Was it that much? He remembered most of the evening, feeling foolish for starting to cry.
What an idiot. Thankfully, it was only Leo, who he trusted as one of his closest friends.
He rolled over from his back to his front. Ouch! Another morning erection he hadn’t even realised he had. He adjusted himself into a more comfortable position. His quads were aching; his shoulders were aching. He’d pushed himself hard in the last session with Julian.
Julian… Julian. It seemed everything in his life now revolved around this man.
A man he was obsessed with, frustrated by, and longing for, but who had never even given him a sign to indicate how he felt.
Maybe he just got aroused by working out?
The only thing he had to go on was his name being uttered by the guy as he was jacking off.
It wasn’t much to go on and wouldn’t stand up in a court of law.
Mind you, there was one thing standing up that demanded attention. Just thinking about last night, seeing Julian at his most vulnerable and pleasuring himself, made his dick even harder. The bed was warm; the sun on his face. He closed his eyes.
The sexual heat of the last three sessions, the occasional physical contact, the intense stares…
there was no way this erection was going away on its own.
It was too insistent. Callum reached under his pillow and pulled out the white compression vest he’d ‘accidentally’ bagged after that late-night session at Julian’s office.
He brought it to his face. It still smelled like man-sweat, mixed with Julian’s expensive cologne. It smelt inherently like him.
Callum draped the shirt over his face and closed his eyes, taking in the sweaty scent, his hand moving rhythmically under the sheets, the friction a poor substitute for the heat he actually longed for.
He imagined their next workout session, Julian in tight shorts and that compression shirt he had worn, with his bulge on display.
He imagined reaching down and cupping it, massaging it, feeling it swell under his touch…
the fantasy played out nicely in his head.
He pictured those deep green eyes darkening, corporate mask slipping to reveal a suppressed hunger underneath.
He buried his nose in the fabric, inhaling deeply. The scent was a trigger. His breathing slowed, muscles coiled, and with a low, jagged groan, he came hard, his hand still clutching the stolen shirt like a lifeline.
For now, he was satisfied. But he didn’t want the scent of the man; he wanted the man.