Chapter 2 #2
“Everyone’s interested in you,” Jacob said, hoping his flat tone disguised how much he wanted to vibrate out of his skin.
Felix’s grin widened. He poked his tongue in his cheek, something he’d started doing in college when every guy started falling over themselves to go home with him.
“Not you,” he said. “You never talk about that shit. Won’t even say what guys you think are hot.
Excuse me if I’m surprised I made the cut. ”
Jacob shrugged stiffly. He supposed he was reserved about that sort of thing, but everyone was reserved compared to Felix, who talked about sex over breakfast like it was totally normal.
Then again, maybe it was normal in the city.
Jacob couldn’t help it—any talk of sex, or romance, or even being attracted to someone, made him feel like he was being pried open and peered into.
He didn’t want anyone to see what was there.
He barely knew what was there a lot of the time.
“I thought you had higher standards,” Jacob said, desperately trying to make a joke.
“My standards are fine,” Felix replied. He took a step closer, somehow not caring about any of the people walking past, even when he was looking at Jacob with… with bedroom eyes, the same ones Jacob had seen him direct at all the other guys who took him back to their dorms.
“And you definitely meet them,” Felix continued.
It took Jacob a moment to remember what he was talking about. Standards. Alright. Felix always made jokes about Jacob being hot, but he never knew how much Felix meant them. It was good to know they were at least partly true.
It was Jacob’s turn to look away. He couldn’t deal with Felix’s undivided attention—especially not with Felix looking up at him all sultry like that, his brown eyes twinkling, wry lips parted like he was imagining everything Jacob had written on that list.
“And I’m pretty excited to try the stuff on that list,” Felix said, making Jacob’s heartbeat ramp up to dangerous levels. “Tall, broody guy who wants to dominate me? Be still, my heart.”
“Shut up,” Jacob snapped, looking around nervously at the hallway. Thankfully, it was mostly empty.
“Seriously,” Felix said again. “You think I kept wrestling you in high school because I thought I could win? I wanted you to pin me down, dude.”
He said it so simply. Like it was easy to say what he wanted—hell, to even know what he wanted. Jacob was only realizing now that he did actually enjoy those wrestling matches, that there was something beyond annoyance when he held Felix’s wrists against the bed.
“Oh,” Jacob said, his voice horrifyingly high. His hand tightened around the list in his pocket. Did Felix already know what he wanted in bed more than he did? Was Jacob that fucking repressed?
Felix snorted. “Don’t have an aneurysm, dude. It’s a good thing. We’re compatible.”
“Compatible,” Jacob muttered. He thought about holding Felix down, giving him orders, and his mind immediately shrank back. He wanted it, but how could he… dominate Felix when he was so inexperienced?
“Okay, now you look like you’re going to puke,” Felix said, kicking him gently in the shin. “What’s going on in that big head of yours?”
“Nothing,” Jacob said. He shuffled closer, not because he wanted to be close but because he was still terrified of anyone overhearing. “Just… I don’t know. Don’t be a dick when I’m bad at this.”
Felix put a hand over his heart. “I’ll try to contain my laughter. So what do you want to do first? Or should it be a surprise, like you open the door and I’m there in a maid costume?”
“Maid costume? There’s no maid costume.” Jacob shook his head. “This is stupid. You’re going to make this weird.”
He turned back toward the classroom. Felix grabbed his shirt, yanking him back.
“I won’t!” Felix said. “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s showing a guy a fun time. Right?”
Jacob inclined his head in reluctant agreement. Felix beamed and let go of Jacob’s shirt.
“I’ll make it nice, man,” Felix said lightly. “I promise.”
Jacob said nothing. He would be the last one to admit it, but he enjoyed Felix’s antics. Just not if he was making fun of something Jacob was actually self-conscious about. And he was self-conscious as fuck about sex.
Felix’s smile faded. An earnest expression replaced it, one he rarely let anyone but Jacob see.
“Dude,” Felix said softly. “You’re my best friend. I’d… I’d love to.”
Then he dropped his gaze. Jacob broke out in goosebumps. He’d never heard Felix say anything so intense in his life. And Felix wasn’t even following it up with a joke. He just stood there, waiting for Jacob to respond.
Jacob swallowed. “Meet me in your dorm after classes. Shane will be gone, right?”
“Oh yeah,” Felix said, immediately falling back into his airy, unserious self. “They’re doing some schmoopy romantic shit on the other side of town. So we’re doing this?”
“I guess.”
Felix stuck his hand out. Jacob took it warily, already shaking it when he realized something. “You used the hand cream,” he said. “Your skin already looks better.”
Felix grinned. “Told you I was on it.” He rubbed his thumb over Jacob’s wrist. His skin didn’t just look better, less red and dry—it was softer, too. Jacob’s wrist tingled when he let go. Was he developing an allergy to aloe?
Felix asked, “When do your classes end?”
“It’s Thursday.”
“So, three. Alright.” Felix nodded at him casually and walked off. “See you then!”
Jacob said nothing, his hand still tingling where Felix had touched him.
This is either the best thing I’ve ever done, he thought to himself as he watched Felix vanish around the corner, or the dumbest.