40. Riot
Riot
W hen the next morning rolled around and I remembered that my brother was asleep, just a few yards away, like he was supposed to be, the feeling of hopelessness left my body.
With that gone, I was left with nothing but raw hurt. I was loath to think that I was settling into my new reality without her. But here I was, pulling on my stupid mechanic uniform to go to work like it was just another day. It was normal and so incredibly abnormal at the same time.
I was still pissed at Brennan for not telling me he knew Nicolette had ulterior motives.
But the one thing he actually could confirm was that she really didn’t know about the recording.
She hadn’t known it existed, and she hadn’t been the one to release it.
A wave of guilt crashed over me. All those terrible things I said to her.
Unable to stand it any longer, Isenther a text message.
I know you didn’t know about therecording.
And that you didn’t send it.
So, I apologize for blaming you.
I waited for the confirmation that it was delivered but it didn’t come.
Not Delivered under the message mocked me like a dancing monkey. What did that mean?
I could ignore it.LetNicolette Parker slip into my past where so many other peopleremained. I shouldputit to rest. Delete her number andlether do whatever itwasshewantedwith her life. I should be the mature one and stand by my decision to ask her to leave…
Yeah, fuckin’ right.
I pressed the call button immediately.
“Hello, you’ve reached Nicolette…” My heart pounded with fear and hope at the same time. Did that mean she blocked my number? Or was her phone off?
Damn, Iwasclueless with this shit. Ineededto ask someone whounderstoodwhat any of thismeantand I didn’t want to involve Brennan, even though he could probably pinpoint her location.
“You look like shit, bro,” Evan greeted me warily when I walked into the auto shop. I nodded in his direction, taking my position in the bay beside him. The morning was uneventful until an old Cadillac was called in. My heart sparked with hope but it wasn’t hers.
She’s gone. You told her to leave town.
I remembered the way her beautiful skin was marred with a red flush and the way her eyes were swollen and how she cowered into her shoulders as if she was trying to disappear inside herself while I screamed at her.
I pulled my phone out.
“Hey, uh… Evan?” He looked up from underneath the Chevy he was working on. “If a message says ‘Not Delivered’ does that mean I’m blocked?”
An amused, mischievous grin curled around Evan’s face. He stood up, wiping his hands on a rag.
“You’re busted up about a girl.”
I scowled. “I’m not. I’m just… Wondering— I’ve never used… I don’t know what I am,” I stammered.
His eyebrows rose in amusement and I scowled deeper. “Oh yeah, you’re definitely busted up. Let me see.” I handed him the torturous piece of technology.
He ran a hand over his chin. “Could mean you’re blocked, could mean her phone is off.”
I sighed in frustration, snatching the phone from him, I hit the call button.
“Whoa, dude, what are you doing?” Startled by his reaction, I hit the end button before it connected. “You can’t just call her!”
“Why not?” I asked.
Evanstaredat me blankly as if he didn’t know the answer.“I dunno… you just can’t. You gotta find a mutual friend, andhavethem ask her ifshe’smad at you or if sheblockedyou. Then wait for that person to get back to you and tell you whetheryou’reblockedor not.”
I stared at him, trying to make sense of his foreign social language. Is this what Brennan felt like all the time?
Without breaking eye contact with him, I hit the call button again and brought it to my ear. He shook his head like I were a lost cause.
“Hello, you’ve reached Nicolette…”
My heart deflated. “It goes right to voicemail,” I whined.
Evan closed one eye, thinking. “Yeah, that means her phone is off.”
“You’re sure?”
He hesitated. “Pretty sure.”
Frustrated, Iwentaround the service area to the front desk where Ipickedup the regular goddamn telephone.
“Don’t do it, man. Two calls from two numbers borders on stalker status!”
That didn’t sound right. One of the guys in my cell blockhadbeenthere forstalkingand this didn’t feel anything like the stories he told.
I carefully punched in her number, copying it from my phone.
“Hello, this is Nicolette Parker, I’m sorry I missed you…”
I hung up. “Right to voicemail,” I shouted over to him.
“Phoneisdefinitely off.That’sgood. If you didn’t leave a voicemail, she won’t know youcalledwhen she turns it back on. You won’t look desperate. ”
“Evan!” Rodger called, throwing a set of keys to him. “PD got a report of an abandoned vehicle in the Valley. Need it towed to the impound out back.”
“Righty-O, boss!” Evan jogged away, and I was left with the aching, unsettled feeling of unease. Did I want her to know I called? Why was her phone off? It was almost one o’clock in the afternoon.
The men’s room stunk, but I needed to get a hold myself. I threw water on my face and hunched over the sink. I really did look like shit. The scar on my chin stared me in the face. It had made Nicolette smile. It had made Katie cringe.
Katie. I hadn’t thought about her in weeks.
As if my mind conjured her, the front door chimed and her singsong voice trilled through the shop. I cursed under my breath, walking back out.
Sheregardedme with a smug, disapproving grin. After a moment, the pretenseappearedto fall from her face and shelookedgenuinely sad.
“I’m sorry, Riot. But it’s for the best. Nicolette was never going to stay here.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, she left town, right? I mean that’s the only reason she could have missed the Field Days recap meeting, right?”
“Sure… It couldn’t have possibly been that you publicly humiliated her on stage.”
I rolled my eyes at Katie’s shock.
“I don’t know how that clipgotin there. Maybe when weassembleditwasjust part of the download, I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter.She’sgoneand we can get back to life as usual.”But her voicewastoo high.
She sat down on the edge of my desk and smiled warmly at me. I blinked and averted my gaze.
“I forgive you, you know.”Her wordswerepatronizing and the urge to flip the deskwasoverwhelming.
Sheputa hand on my cheek to make me look at her.
“Everythingisgoingtobe okay, Riot.”Her words and touchwereso tender they almostmademe soften.
“ I feel like Ihaven’tseenyou in weeks!
The Fourth of July Celebrationisgoingtobe incredible this year!
Oh my gosh, and did you see that the elevator to the old minescollapsedthis weekend?
And did you hearwe’refinalists for the tourism grant? I think we can win it…”
But Itunedher out, her handremindingme of the way Nicoletteusedto run a fingernail over the scar on my chin and then through my hair, down my back when Ihoveredabove her.
Fuck.
Maybe Katie was right. Maybe getting back to normal, at least the normal before her would help me come to terms with the normal after her.
“Hey! How about I bring dinner over for you and Brennan tonight?”
Iheldher gaze for abeattoo long,consideringwhat it would be like to try and go back to that. No, the idea oftryingto pretend like I could go back to beforewasridiculous.
“Katie…” I started.
She looked at me with such wide, expecting eyes, it crushed the last bits of my shattered heart.
“We can’t go back to the way it was before.
I’ll never be able to thank you for how you helped me when I first got back.
” I saw the light in her eyes start to dim.
“I mean it. I’m grateful for you now and always…
But I feel like you might have some expectations that I’ll never be able to meet.
” She deflated, and I’d never felt like more of a piece of shit. I could tell she was biting back tears.
“But… But Nicolette is gone, Riot. She left. She’s not coming back and you’re never going to see her again.” Her words struck me in the chest. The assurance in her voice gave me pause.
“I know, Katie. AndI’msorry if Igaveyou the wrong impression here.
I appreciate you more than you know butI’llnever be able to pursue a romantic relationship with you.
AndI’vegottenthe impressionthat’swhat you might belookingfor.
You’rean amazing woman and you deserve to be with someone who can love you as fiercely as you love them. ”
A red flush colored her cheeks as she looked around. Her jaw worked up and down like she was trying to figure out something to say and this whole exchange was painful.
“Riot…” she started. She looked around again as if the answers were somewhere hidden in the old auto garage.
Finally, something resolute passed over her face.
Her shoulders rolled back, and she plastered her best Katie Plainbottom Smile on her face.
“I appreciate you being honest with me.” For a second I thought she was going to stick out her hand for a handshake.
But instead, she nodded once before turning on a heel and leaving the shop.
Iexpectedtears, if not perhaps a little more pleading. But Katieswallowedmy dismissal like itwasa college rejection letter.
I blew out a breath once she was gone. I shook my head, thankful that was over.
Half an hour later, the nose of Evan’s tow truckpulledin. I rose to help him when the front doorswungopen, almostshatteringwhen itbouncedoff the backstop.
“The fuck did you do to her, Asher!”Jeremy Blackwellstormedthrough the entrance andragedtoward me, the vein in his foreheadpopping. He didn’t slow down,stormingmy desk. Istood,toweringover him. A rush of blood and ten years in prison instantlyputme on the defense.
“What are you talking about, Jeremy?” I sighed, narrowing my eyes.
“Don’t play dumb with me, you piece of shit!”My blood rose.“What did you do to Nicolette?”
The sound of her namemademe pause.
“What are you talking about?” I repeated with more intention this time. “She left town Jeremy. Three days ago,” I added sullenly.
“On what, a bicycle? You know, ifyou’regoingtomake a habit ofmurderingwomen in this town, you really should learn to do a better job ofcoveringit up.Dumpingher car in the Valley? Not exactly pro status.”
What?
The window to the back impound lotsnatchedmy attention. Itparkedandloweredthe golden midsize sedan. I would recognize that old relic anywhere. An anxious alarmsentthe hairs on my neck to attention.
I pushed past Jeremy, ignoring his warnings for me to stay put and sprinted around back. I was idly aware of his presence behind me but nothing could stop me. My chest slammed into the driver’s side door and I yanked it open.
My nostrils filled with her scent and it clouded my focus.
“Where did you find this?” I demanded, whipping around to face Evan.
Heappearedunperturbed. “A few hundred feet down the road from the Valley entrance. The guycalledit in after ithadbeensitting there since Sunday morning.
My blood went cold. “Sunday?” I tried to mask the rising panic in my voice but the fallout of last weekend suddenly didn’t seem important.
“They never saw the driver?”
Evan shrugged helplessly. “I just picked it up, man.”
I spun around and found myself face-to-face with Jeremy.
“You’re going to pretend like you know nothing about this?” he seethed, almost appearing to care.
“I swear, Jeremy. We fought. Saturday night. I kicked her out, and that was the last time I saw her.” I moved around to the passenger side and pulled the door open, sifting through papers on the seat there.
“You fought,” he repeated matter-of-factly. “Saturday night. Which means you were probably the last person to see her.”
I ignored him, my world coming to a shattering halt. I held up a picture of my dead mother on an exam table. What the fuck had she been looking into? Her frantic words from Saturday came rushing back to me.
Your mother. I went back over her autopsy report.
Shehadbeenoverwhelmedwith the urge to tell me something but the blind rage of that bindermadeher words fall on deaf ears.
“Alright, Riot.I’mgoingtoneed you to come down to the station with me. ”
Irritation bubbled within me. “If she’s been missing since Saturday night we don’t have time for this, Jeremy.” My words rushed out, scooping up the papers on her seat and running to my truck out front.
“Brennan,” I barked into my phone. “I need you to find Nicolette. Track her phone. Anything you have to do.”
“Okay,” was all my brother replied before he hung up.
At least some people didn’t waste time.
I pulled my car door open but Jeremy’s tone halted me in my tracks.
“Don’t move another inch, Asher.” He had his gun drawn, and I reluctantly put my arms up. More irritated than afraid.
“Jeremy, there’s no time for this.”
“ I tell you what we have time for. I’m taking you in for an official statement. This is a missing persons case now. You can either come willingly or I can put you under arrest for violating parole by refusing to cooperate.”
Rage boiled through me but I lowered my arms and acquiesced.
As Jeremyslammedthe rear door to his cop car, I couldn’t help but dwell on the rapidlygrowingdread in my heart.
Jeremy radioed his colleagues that we were coming in and he was filing an official missing person report on Nicolette Parker. The words gripped my chest and disbelief marred my thoughts. Everything tangled in my brain at once.
IshotBrennan a message that Iwasbeingtakento the police station. I didn’t ask him to call my lawyer. My messageendedwith three pleading words.
Please find her.