45. Chip
CHIP
This morning, the boss calls him into her office, and he’s surprised how cluttered it is.
Boxes are everywhere, and her desk is buried beneath piles of papers.
He sees photographs of her twins, and he aches for her.
But she seems not to notice any of it. “Take a seat,” she says, and as soon as he sits, Taffy comes over and rests her head on his lap, and the more he pets her, the closer she pushes against him.
Rhonda looks indecisive, but she takes a breath and then looks brave. “It’s going to be weird without you here,” she finally says.
He nods. “I’m going to miss it a lot.” He rubs Taffy’s ears, and he’s grateful for the warmth she radiates, as he’s been getting colder and colder lately. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you—”
She leans back. “Are you kidding?”
“Also, about my medical bills.”
She puts her hand up. “The very very very least we could do.” She stares into his eyes.
“No more of that thank you or I’m sorry, okay?
” She gives him a smile. She pulls a card off her desk.
“We have an agreement, Chip Bishop, and I’m a woman of my word.
” She walks over and hands him the yellow card.
“What’s this?”
“The agreement.” She gives him a smile.
He tears it open because that’s what she seems to expect, and Taffy looks up at him, like she wonders if it’s a treat. The front of the card says Congratulations. Graduation caps and balloons float in a sea of blue. He opens it and sees her words, and he just sits there, relieved.
Dearest Chip,
Good luck in college. We are so proud and know you’ll do many good things.
XO,
Rhonda Simmons and the gang at Red Maple
The sky looks like it will rain soon, and Elliot finds him sitting on the curb in the employee parking lot.
“Whatcha doing, sucker?”
Chip holds his harmonica, and he looks up at Elliot.
For a second, he remembers how he let him fall asleep on his shoulder after the Mets game.
He can’t count how many generous people he’s met here.
He can’t believe how in all the places he could have ended up this summer, he found the exact right one.
He hopes he’s left it a little better. “I’m just taking it all in. ”
He tries to play the harmonica, but his notes sound weak. He doesn’t have the breath he used to, and the song doesn’t sound right. He tries again, and he doesn’t even know what song he wanted to play. He tosses the harmonica into the grass. “Screw it,” he says.
Elliot sits and puts his arm around his shoulders.
“Screw it all, man,” he says. Chip looks out at the employee cars and realizes he doesn’t know who so many of them belong to.
He wants to distract himself, so he starts trying to guess.
It feels good to have someone beside him.
He looks at all the cars he can name: a Pinto, a Triumph, a Challenger.
He sees a green Camaro that he would almost trade his Mustang for. He rubs his eyes and sits there.
Elliot grips him like he won’t let go, and Chip turns to look at the grass, like he cares where the harmonica landed.
It’s time to go home. Probably tomorrow or the next day.
But first, this.
He stands by the dock at the top of the world in the tan suit he bought with Phil yesterday in town.
Paige pinned a white rose to his jacket, and he wishes he had gotten a haircut.
Wishes more that Maggie and his parents and grandparents were here, but this is the last thing he’s doing without them.
Last night, he picked up the pay phone and put in a dime, thinking about calling them and telling them to come today, but he’s been gone these weeks, and they have let him be gone, knowing he needed this somehow, and he can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube, as his dad says.
He either had to do it all alone, or none of it.
Vicky met him this morning, and she said she didn’t like not telling her dad, so she called him at five a.m. and spilled the beans.
“What did he say?”
“He said ‘I trust you,’ ” she said, and shrugged. Vicky’s dad was always laid-back. “ ‘As long as you’re happy,’ he said.”
He has told Vicky to tell Maggie about this afterward. The rest of the family will need time to understand, and time is what he doesn’t have.
All he knows is how he feels. He didn’t want to pressure Vicky.
God, she’s so perfect. She’ll have a lifetime to find other men, and he doesn’t imagine for a second he’ll be her only love.
But she’s on board with this, and now she is walking toward him in a linen dress she got from the thrift store a couple days ago, a bouquet of daisies and roses in her hands.
He watches her, then looks out at the faces of his Red Maple family.
Phil and Elliot stand beside him, Phil taking deep breaths like he’s trying not to cry, Elliot gripping his shoulder every so often.
Rhonda and her husband are standing there, holding hands, Taffy beside them, Rhonda with tears in her eyes.
Paige is telling everyone where to sit or stand, and Bridget keeps smiling over at Phil.
Chip locks eyes with Vicky as she walks toward him, and he thinks how he wouldn’t want to marry anyone else.
Last night he saw Nancy, who hugged him and told him she didn’t feel right coming today but that she is happy for him.
“I understand, Nance,” he said, and she nodded, and he watched her, like summer, walk away.
He feels tears in his eyes as Vicky gets closer.
He can’t remember the last time he’s been in a suit or she’s been in a dress.
Part of him thinks they’re still kids and what the hell are they even doing here, but it is one of those summer evenings that make you realize why you love summer, and a string quartet is seated by the wooden bench, playing Pachelbel’s Canon.
He did a lot of living here. He got his hands dirty, he smoked cigarettes and pot.
He got drunk for the first time, read a great book.
He met a nurse in the hospital who stands off to the side now, who promised she’d look after Vicky.
He went to a baseball game and almost got in a fight.
He made people smile and laugh. He got chased by a goddamn bear.
He had a summer fling, then found his true love. What is life besides this?
Rhonda has treated him and his bride to the big honeymoon chalet, and he is excited to be there with Vicky and drink champagne and talk all night. Phil said he’ll be their chauffer and drive them home tomorrow or whenever they want to go.
He doesn’t think about what the doctor at Pocono told him yesterday; he doesn’t think about what will happen once he’s home.
He won’t think about never going to college, petting Birdy Girl for the last time, or looking into Maggie’s and his parents’ eyes and hoping he made the right decision by leaving.
Vicky is beside him now, and he takes her hand.
Chip stares out at the lake. The August sky, so many trees, this beautiful, perfect place, and the pastor is saying something now, and Vicky is smiling at him.
He will be a married man. They will be husband and wife.
He looks at the rings Elliot holds, and they are simple and nothing special, fifty dollars for the two of them in downtown Bradley Falls, but they are the color of the brass deer. They shine in what’s left of the light.
Something catches his eye now, and he sees a small bunny off in the distance. He watches it bolt through the grass. The quartet switches to a new song, “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” and he squeezes Vicky’s hand more tightly.