Chapter 19
Rain
I pull open the door to see him standing on the porch.
“What’s the time?” I ask him, my voice thin.
He reaches into his pocket, checks his screen, and looks up. “It just clocked twelve.”
“Huh? Why are you...”
He shifts his posture, whipping a bag from behind his back to hold it out toward me. “I got you ice cream.”
I look at the container, disbelief clouding my thoughts. “Wait. You went out to God knows where, by this time of the night, to get me ice cream?”
He gives a single nod, his dark eyes looking eagerly at me.
I lick my dry lips at the mere thought of scooping into the mint goodness inside that bag. I want to act like I cannot accept it, but deep within me, I know this is the exact thing I crave at unnecessary hours. Plus, the container in my freezer finished yesterday.
I am about to reach for the handle when he shifts the weight of the bag. “Do you need help with it? It is a little bit substantial.”
I go still. I know that once I open this door wide, I am letting in a specific kind of temptation, and I do not want that between us right now. But looking at him standing here at midnight, holding up my exact craving in his sleepwear, I let out a long sigh. I swing the door back.
A ridiculously beautiful smile breaks across his face, and he nods his head. “Thank you, Rain.”
“Where can I leave it?”
I walk past him into the kitchen, already salivating. “Leave it on the counter,” I tell him. The moment I step into the same space as him, his scent invades every part of me, distracting my senses.
I reach into the cupboard and take out a small plate, then look back at him. “Do you want some?”
He nods.
I hand him the plate, then use the metal scooper to dig into the mint container. I drop a single scoop onto his dish, but on my own, I press the spoon down until the bowl is almost full.
***
We sit in the living room, facing a television screen that plays a show I am certain neither of us is interested in.
I know he isn't paying attention because I can feel his gaze drifting over to me every now and then.
For me, the screen is nothing but background noise; I am far too busy trying to pretend I do not care about what he is doing.
I glance over at his lap and notice the green mound on his dish is turning to juice.
“You can take a picture, you know,” I say, breaking the stillness.
He blinks, his focus snapping back. “What?”
“You’ve been staring,” I say, turning my head to meet his eyes. “And your ice cream is melting.” I nod toward his lap.
He looks down quickly, his posture shifting so fast that the liquid content in the plate sloshes over the edge, spilling directly onto his hand. “Oh, God,” he mutters. He pushes off the cushions and retreats to the kitchen. A moment later, the sound of running water echoes from the sink.
He returns to the living room, taking the seat right beside me on the sofa. He studies my face for a second. “How are you, Rain?”
A small smile touches my lips, and I give a single nod of my head. “I am okay.”
“Do you like the ice cream?”
“Yes,” I say.
He nods in response, his shoulders loosening slightly. I smile at the sight of him nodding to himself.
“Are there any other things you like?” he asks, leaning closer.
I tilt my head, studying his expression. “So you could run to my place at one in the morning to deliver?”
A low laugh escapes his chest, and he shakes his head. “I could have it ordered and delivered to you.”
I nod, considering the offer. “I love and crave tangerines. But I need them fresh.”
“Okay,” he says, his jaw setting with determination. “Is there something else you’ll need?”
I let out a long sigh. Taking one last scoop of the green ice cream, I turn my head and look him square in the face. “What, Cody?”
He pauses, his dark eyes widening slightly, as if I had just asked him some strange, impossible question. Maybe the timing is out of the blue, but I have to know.
“Do you really love me?”
He licks his lower lip, his gaze dropping for a fraction of a second before pinning itself back onto mine. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
I want to believe him. A weak part of me really wants to believe the words, but something deep within me refuses to stop replaying the details of that midnight phone call.
“We slept together...” I trail off, the words catching in my throat. I cannot say any more. The more I talk, the more the feelings and the sharp sting of rejection from that night replay behind my eyes, and right now, I do not want to feel that vulnerability.
“I and Toria didn’t do anything,” he says, his voice dropping into a rough whisper.
I give a slow nod, dragging the spoon between my lips to lick it clean of any lingering flavor. I don't offer an answer to his defense.
“Goodnight, Cody.”
He swallows hard, digesting the dismissal, then slowly stands up from the sofa. “Please sleep well, Rain. Uh... if you need anything, please call me. No matter the time, I’ll come.”
He walks to the door and pulls it open. Just before stepping out onto the porch, he turns back, his eyes searching mine one last time. “I really do love you, Rain.”
The latch clicks as the wood shuts between us.
I sit alone in the room, my hand resting against my chest. I’ll admit, my heart does a sudden flip at his final words. But as I look at the empty space he left behind, a quiet resolve settles into my mind. At this point in my life, I need to use my head more often than I use my heart.