Chapter 19
Eris
I couldn’t fucking breathe.
The images flooded my mind through the bond over and over again.
Jupiter’s eyes, wide with pleasure. Her dark hair splayed across white sheets.
Her lips parted as she moaned—not for me, not for any of us, but for them.
For those fucking Stardust bastards who’d swooped in and took what should have been ours.
I slammed my fist against the wall, the plaster cracking under my knuckles. Pain shot up my arm, but it was nothing compared to the agony tearing through my chest.
“Fuuuck!” I roared, the word tearing from my throat like broken glass.
Percy and Aiden sat across from me on the couch, passing a joint between them, their eyes bloodshot and haunted. They felt it too. Every thrust, every gasp, every whispered word of praise from those fucking pricks echoed through our bond with excruciating clarity.
I stalked to the window, staring out at the dark campus. My reflection in the glass showed a man I barely recognized. Hollow-eyed, gaunt, a ghost of the warrior I once was. I hadn’t slept properly in weeks. I hadn’t eaten. Hadn’t done anything but drown in whiskey and self-loathing.
The sofa behind me taunted my sanity as I remembered Jupiter straddling my lap that night, her body warm and trembling as I’d entered her. The way she’d looked at me, like I was the only man in the universe. The rightness of her in my arms, the perfect fit of our bodies together.
I’d never feel that again. I’d never hold her again, never taste her skin or hear her whisper my name as she came apart. Because I’d thrown it all away. We all had.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I said, my voice breaking. “I can’t live like this, feeling her with them, knowing she’s moving on while I—“
“While you what?” Draco snapped from his chair in the corner. He looked like death warmed over, his pale face drawn, dark circles under his eyes. “While you wallow? While you drink yourself into oblivion and talk about how you hope the next bane attack finishes you off?”
I turned to face him, rage boiling in my veins. “What the fuck do you want from me, Draco? You think I should be happy for her? You think I should celebrate that she’s found someone else to fuck while we sit here rotting?”
His eyes flashed violet. “I want you to stop broadcasting your suicidal thoughts through the bond. It’s loud enough that I can barely think.”
A fresh wave of sensation crashed through me.
Jupiter’s pleasure building, her body tightening around one of them, her breath coming in short gasps.
I doubled over, bracing myself on my knees as her climax washed over her, and through us.
Aiden made a strangled sound, dropping his head into his hands.
Percy’s knuckles went white around the arm of the sofa.
“She hates us,” I whispered, nearly dry heaving. “She wants us to suffer.”
“And we are,” Draco said, standing. He moved to the center of the room. “But sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves isn’t going to fix anything.”
“What do you suggest?” Aiden asked bitterly. “We’ve tried apologizing. We’ve tried gifts, letters, but all of them were returned, our calls unanswered. We turned up at her fucking school and got thrown on our asses. She won’t even look at us.”
“Then we try something else,” Draco said. “We petition for a transfer to Imperium. Officially. Not through Dominion.”
The room went silent. Even Percy looked up, his expression shifting from despair to cautious interest. “You think they’d let us in?”
“Nightfall is one of the most prestigious shields in America. Our combat record is impeccable. The Assembly has been pushing for more cooperation between the academies. It’s not impossible.”
Percy sat forward, the joint forgotten between his fingers. “Even if they accepted us, Jupiter would never agree to be with us again, and they made it pretty clear that it was her choice.”
“Not as her mates,” Draco agreed. “But maybe as her shield. As a combat unit that functions non-romantically.”
I laughed. “You think she’d want us anywhere near her after what we did? Even in a non-romantic way? She’s more likely to send the next poisoned dart through our window.”
“She’s still bonded to us,” Draco argued. “And I think that bond is killing her as much as it’s killing us. Maybe if we could find a way to work together without the romantic entanglements, we could all start to heal.”
“Strictly business,” Aiden said, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “No attempts to win her back. No declarations of love.”
“Exactly,” Draco nodded. “We approach her with a proposal. We join Imperium, we work together as a combat unit, and we respect her boundaries. No more, no less.”
I ran a hand through my hair, considering it. The thought of being near her without being able to touch her, to hold her, was its own kind of torture. But it was better than this, better than feeling her through the bond with other men while we wasted away thousands of miles apart.
“It might work,” Percy said. “If we can convince her it’s purely professional. That we’re not trying to manipulate her or win her back.”
“And if she says no?” I asked.
“Then we respect that and continue to suffer,” Draco said. “But we have to try.”
Percy stood. “I’ll draft the petition tonight. We’ll submit it to both academies tomorrow.”
“And Jupiter?” Aiden asked. “Who asks her?”
“I will,” Draco said. “I’ll catch her in the morning before they leave. I think... I think she might listen to me.”
I nodded, a fragile sort of hope kindling in my chest. It wasn’t what I wanted. Not in the slightest. I wanted her back in my arms, wanted to erase the past months and start over, but it was something. A chance to be near her, to see her, even if it was from a distance.
“Alright,” I said, my voice rough from screaming. My head pounded and all I wanted to do was take a long shower and pass out. “We try it your way.”