FOURTEEN
Dax and Aiden get me to Carlito’s just in time for my shift. I’m still a raging mess and with all the questions in my head on fast spin, I feel like a mental case. Still, work is work, and I refuse to lose my best source of income.
The warm stench of leather, spilled booze, cigarettes, and man hit me the second I open the door. My body sags, muscles releasing the tension of the day, as the familiarity of the bar and my routine sink in. I’m surprised by the utter relief I feel knowing I’m finally where I’m meant to be—and safe.
Not to mention on time.
I expect Carlo to offer me a freaking round of applause, but he’s not in the bar when I enter. Kevin, Carlo’s assistant manager, and Niall are upfront instead.
“Carlo in the back?” I ask, trailing my twin shadows behind me.
Kevin shakes his head. “He’s out tonight. Family emergency or some shit.”
“Family? What family? I thought Cue-ball was a loner.” I know Carlo is a loner. The only woman he’s ever shown an interest in is my mother, and he’s an only child who visits his parent’s graves on Wednesday mornings, so his emergency isn’t about relatives.
“Yeah, what is it he calls himself? A lone wolf?” Niall laughs like it’s hysterical, but I catch Dax mumbling to himself. Something about wolves always finding their pack in the end. It’s not so much the words that set red flags waving, but the disapproving, almost knowing, tone in which he says them.
“When did he leave? I ask. The coincidences build like jigsaw pieces.
“He had his usual two-thirty until five break and then came back, but by seven-thirty he was shooting out the door again. You’d think his precious Harley was on fire or something with the way he flew out of here,” Niall answers, earning a disapproving glare from Kevin.
I’m already putting the picture together, but when Dax refuses to meet my eyes, I know for sure.
Carlo’s big emergency is Mum. Her friend for the night is Carlo.
“We weren’t exactly sure you were coming in either, so I called Niall in to help out.” Kevin carries on, oblivious to my tanking mood. I want to ask questions, but I also have responsibilities. I need to prioritise, and at the top of my sort-your-life-out list is making enough money to pay my own way. There’s no chance I’m sleeping in a hotel tonight. I can’t afford the debt Dax keeps racking up on my behalf. I’ll stay here in Carlo’s office after I lock up, or I’ll call Charlie and sleep on her couch.
“I’m here now, so where do you need me?” Rolling my backpack off my shoulders, I hiss as the materiel touches my palms and head toward the office to grab a clean sweatshirt. If I volunteer for washing duty, perhaps I can get some cold water on my hands and release some of the throbbing heat that’s been building all day.
“Actually,” Dax grabs my wrist and brings me to a stumbling halt, “she’s not working tonight. I was hoping to explain things to Mr Girard myself, but if he’s not here, we’ll be on our way.” Dax nudges his head toward the exit.
I yank my arm back and wince at the sting. “Wait a minute. I’m on the schedule.”
Dax doesn’t seem to understand my point. He shrugs. “Now you’re off the schedule.”
“But I want my shift. I need that money.”
“You don’t. I’ll compensate you,” he insists flippantly. For the first time since I met him, I think I dislike him. His high handedness is one thing, but that he doesn’t even try to understand this from my perspective irritates the hell out of me.
“I don’t want your compensation. I can earn my keep. I already owe you both as it is!”
“For what?” he laughs, and the sound of his incredulity only infuriates me more.
“For the eighty-ish pounds of groceries that my dad trashed, and ice creams, and that burger and fries you made me eat in the car. I’m keeping a tally.” I list them out on my fingers and almost add the phone, but I plan on handing that back so it’s only on loan for now. Unless the twins break it. God, what’ll that cost me?
Dax laughs again but pulls out his phone and starts typing as he speaks. “Jules, none of that stuff is important.”
“It is to me,” I insist, glaring at him until he bothers to look up at me.
He eyes me curiously. “Then fine. You keep a tally and when we’re ready to total it all up, we can balance the books.” There’s a smirk creeping across his crooked lips that insists he’s already won this battle. His confidence slows me down. I re-evaluate my stance. Am I wrong to trust him? Does he have something on me? Or has he been deliberately putting me in his debt?
“What does that mean, exactly?”
He smirks. “It means, little gem, I owe you a life debt. I owe you more than I can ever pay you. You saved my brother. No amount you calculate will ever equate to that.”
Could that be true? Does he really feel he owes me a life debt? What does that entail anyway? Is he making himself responsible for my life? That’s insane. No. I won’t allow it. I won’t let another man make decisions for me or control me like that…even if his intentions are…what? Good? Better than Dad’s? Honourable? Fuck if I know. Even if I understood any of this, I wouldn’t want any of the arseholes in this bar knowing it too. Dax has already said too much.
My eyes scan the bar. It’s quiet and although there are more than a few pairs of ears perked up and tuned into our conversation, they’re nobody I know. Even Gresh’s stool sits unclaimed tonight. Probably for the best. He’d have reported our conversation straight to Dad—the one person who could put a cash amount on a life debt without a flicker of remorse.
Maybe it’s a good idea to get out of here, after all.
“Screw it. I’m not even going to argue with you right now,” I tell Dax. “If I’m not working tonight, what exactly do you need me to do?”
Dax’s wide smile lights up his face. Why do I want to smile back? I’m seriously pissed at this man, but his charm offensive is impressively on point.
“There’s someone I think you’ll want to see,” he teases. Admittedly, I’m curious enough to bite.
I follow him to the door but turn to ask the guys if they’ll be okay. They shoo me out of the building, probably happy to get rid of the drama Aiden and Dax invite just by their presence. Movement near the men’s bathroom catches my attention. Someone small and fast ducks behind the wall. For a split second, I’m convinced I saw Geesh’s beady eyes watching me, but he wouldn’t be stupid enough to turn up here tonight after Dax’s warning, would he?
“Everything okay? Aiden asks, patiently holding the rear passenger door.
“Uh, yeah…Sorry.”
“Climb in.”
I sink into the soft, rich leather of the backseat and take a couple of deep breaths. Should I warn Dax about Gresh? If he really was there and I hadn’t imagined him, he’ll have been spying for Dad. Could he have heard what Dax said? Yes. Would he tell Dad? Probably. But if I never went back home, if I never stepped foot in Dad’s house again, what could he really do? The kids are safe. Mum seems to be safe, and I’m…figuring shit out as I go.
So, is it worth mentioning and risking Dax turning around and marching in there to deal with the little gargoyle when it’d be too late anyway? Nope.
I’d rather confirm one of my other suspicions first.
“Mum wasn’t at work when you found her, was she?” I ask. Really, either of them can answer the question. Though Aiden was with me, I’ve no doubt he knows whatever Dax knows. There’s no hierarchy between the two. Sure, Aiden acts like he works for Dax, but there’s a mutual respect between them that puts them level with each other. It’s odd and, honestly, none of my business. As long as one of them answers my questions, I don’t much care.
Aiden avoids my question with one of his own. “Why do you think that?”
I indulge him. “She was well-dressed, wearing makeup, and seemed more annoyed than worried. There’s also the fact that she suddenly has a friend to go to.”
“She doesn’t have friends?”
“No. She’s not allowed to socialise. Neither am I. We work. We go home. She should have been in the middle of her third shift at the factory. But she wasn’t, was she?”
“No, Jules, she wasn’t,” Dax responds.
“She was with Carlo,” I state but they know I’m asking too.
“And how did you make the leap to Carlo?” Aiden asks.
“Because it’s not a leap. Carlo is in love with my mother. Has been for years. When Niall said he ran out of the bar right around the time Mum left us, it made sense. I assume his afternoons off are when he meets with Mum?”
“At least today…yes.” Dax gives me the truth. I appreciate it.
“When did you notice?” Aiden pipes up, flicking glances at me in the rear-view.
I answer their honesty with my own. “The minute Mum showed up, I knew something was off. She was too angry. Sure, I know she resents me mostly.” She always has. Much the same as Dad, she’s always treated me differently and when I got older, it occurred to me that perhaps the reason was the same as Dad’s. He’s always wished I’d never been born. Like he always says, daughters are a waste of air. With Mum, I suspect I make her feel guilt. Still, she’s never treated me quite the way she did today. I think of the best way to say it. “…but she’s never usually that…aggressive or obvious with her resentment,” I explain.
The two men share a complex look.
Dax nods and confirms what I already know. “She was with Carlo. I didn’t stop long enough to ask why.”
“How did you know where to find her?”
“Because I’ve had someone tailing Carlo Girard since he fronted up to me in the bar,” Aiden admits.
“And I’ve had someone watching over your mother for the same reason that Aiden and I are sticking close to you.”
Ah yes, the other danger in my life. “That damned envelope.”
“Exactly. I’m doing my best to keep you all safe, Jules,” Dax admits, turning back in his seat to stare out the windscreen. “Though, I’m wondering if any of them actually deserve it,” he mumbles. Aiden huffs a sound suspiciously like agreement and I can’t help but wonder the same.
My family has been lying to me. I always knew my father was a selfish prick, but to discover my mum was hiding things too — maybe even having an affair. Seems the pair of them are driven by self-interest.
If Mum wasn’t working, why didn’t she get the kids out of the house? Why wasn’t she home dealing with Dad instead of me? Why wasn’t she feeding the kids, washing them, caring for them? I took on the responsibility because I thought I had to. She was at work, so I cared for them. I took Dad’s attention away from them. Seems I was taking his attention away from her too.
God. I’m so fucking done. I’m so tired. When do I get to stop?
The heat in the car is comforting and encourages me to close my eyes. I want the world to disappear. I want to forget who I am, but there’s no forgetting. I can’t even escape the day, not when the remains of it are splattered and turning sour on my clothes. The smell fast becomes pungent in the confines of the car. I roll down the window and hope the night scents of Harrison city wash me away.
“I need to shower and change,” I admit. “I stink, and we’re all too polite to say it.”
Aiden snorts. Dax smiles. “Can I ask what the combination is? I’m not sure I’ve ever come across it before?”
I laugh. “Parfum d’?ufs.” Don’t ask me why I use French, perhaps it’s to soften the embarrassment. The change in language, however, surprises both men who turn to look at me. You’d think I was a stranger with the way they stare at me as if they’ve never seen me before. Aiden turns back to watch the road, but Dax settles himself sideways to watch me.
“Tu parles fran?ais?” Dax tests.
“Un peu…and by peu, I mean a miniscule amount,” I admit, switching back to English before they test me on my language skills. I know a little more than I’m letting on, but I’ve never actually practised, so I probably sound stupid out loud.
“Bright too,” Dax adds, like he’s taking notes.
“Her courses tell us that,” Aiden teases.
“True. She’s observant too.” Dax banters back, the two of them taking pleasure in my frown.
“Very. She’s proving remarkably interesting.” Aiden shoots me another glance, but instead of a smirk, his face is contemplative.
“She’s also sitting right here…” I throw in.
“Good hearing, it seems.” Aiden laughs turning away again, resuming whatever nonsense game the pair are playing with me.
“Quick mouth and responsive. We both know how much I like that,” Dax admits. Aiden laughs. I can’t help but catch the undertones of a hidden meaning.
“Funny arseholes.” I scowl at the pair of them, making a point of holding the expression so Aiden catches it in the rear-view.
“Hmm the temper might be an issue,” Aiden resumes as soon as he quits chuckling at my face.
“Nah…She’s feisty. It’s fierce,” Dax dismisses, staring right at me. Yeah, there’s something else going on here. Something that’s making me feel flushed.
“I’m a mess,” I whisper, more to remind myself of the fact. This isn’t what you hope it is, Jules.
“You’re a fucking oddity,” Dax fires back. I can see for myself that he means no malice in those words, but they hurt. I sit back, withdrawing from the energy and expectations they are building. Dax looks mortified. “Fuck. Wrong word?” he asks Aiden.
Aiden hums. “’fraid so.” There’s still a teasing element to his tone and expression that prevents me from throwing up my walls fully. Is this still part of their game?
“There are so many words that fit and yet don’t fit,” Dax complains.
“Give her your best ones,” Aiden advises, watching me carefully in the mirror.
There’s a long hum as Dax thinks, and then he just starts rattling words like bullets from a gun. “Amazing. Brave. Selfless. Luminescent. Mystifying. Intelligent. Inspirational.” Each word hits hard. I hear them but can’t connect them to me. He’s teasing. Being kind to cheer me. It’s not sincere…it can’t be. He doesn’t know me.
“Fearless. Resilient…” Aiden adds
“Capable. Kind…”
“Okay…okay I get what you’re trying to do…stop now, please,” I beg.
“Modest,” Aiden teases.
“Beautiful,” Dax states. The car falls silent for a long tense moment. “And utterly unaware of herself. Don’t discount yourself, Jules.”
“Do you guys do this often?” I ask, deflecting. Both men turn and wait expectantly for me to explain. “Tag team poor unsuspecting girls? You’ve got silver tongues, the pair of you.”
Aiden splutters a cough that might also be a laugh.
Dax, on the other hand, looks at me with an expression I’ve not yet seen from him…or anyone else for that matter. His pupils swell, rendering his green eyes almost black. A slow seductive smile snakes across his lips.
“Tag team with our tongues, little gem?” he asks, and I understand my mistake. Fuck though, the electricity in this car thrills my skin with delicious prickles. Dax is beautiful and sexy as sin when he’s not trying, but he’s utterly devastating when he is.
“Why do you ask? Would you like to find out?”
I’m not sure what to say to that. To any of that. My mouth opens and closes, but my brain is empty. Aiden saves me.
“We’re here.” He cuts Dax a warning glance that seems to shake him out of whatever the hell that was. Dax stays in the car while Aiden lets me out. The tricksy bodyguard holds out his hand to help and then takes me by the wrist to avoid hurting the reddened flesh of my palms. Aiden’s fingers linger overly long on my skin before pulling away.
Between the two of them, I can’t seem to find my head.
“And Jules,” Dax whispers in my ear. I hadn’t even noticed him get out of the car. “We’re going to revisit that question one day soon.”
He walks ahead, leaving me to catch my breath and wonder where that came from.
Dax has been generous, attentive, protective, and a little brash—my memories flash of his hands on Gresh, the malevolence with which he threatened him. Of the way he wanted to storm into my home and confront my father. Of the glares and huffs he shot at my mum whenever she was harsh with me.
I stare up the steps toward the two men holding open glass doors. Each waiting for me to gather myself. I shake the notion—the fantasy that they might want me— from my mind. I’m wrong. I’ve misread their intentions. If I haven’t, I can’t even contemplate whatever Dax is suggesting. I need to remember that their pretty words and praise mean nothing.
In the end, they’ll realise I’m not worth keeping.