Chapter 7
SEVEN
NOW
Reese
I spend the rest of the evening wrapped up in memories of Camilla, waiting for Victoria to call me as I recall the day Camilla moved into my apartment.
I remember that I was so pleased to be able to offer her the room because I knew she was unhappy in her shared house and that she didn’t have a lot of money.
I thought it would be so nice to live with a good friend.
I could never have imagined what would happen and I don’t understand why she has contacted me again.
It’s after 11 p.m. when I finally hear from Victoria. And then it’s a text message.
I’m in bed already, trying and failing to concentrate on my novel about a woman who thinks she’s losing her mind.
Sorry, kids were nuts and I’ve only just managed to sit down for five minutes after having to clean the kitchen and do the laundry. What should we do?
Nick is still working, not all that unusual for him but it is very late. Still, I’m glad that he’s not here. I find it difficult to hide things from him. The secrets I have kept are from a long time ago and have nothing to do with our lives now. That’s what I keep telling myself.
When I read Victoria’s text, I immediately feel horribly dishonest because I’ve already replied to Camilla but I can’t tell her that.
But then, I know Victoria is being dishonest as well.
This is not the first minute she’s had to message me.
She will have thought through all the angles, probably while she was in the bath, and she will want to tell me what we’re going to do.
She’s only asking me because she wants me to feel like I’m part of the decision but she has also assumed that I will do whatever she tells me to do.
I’m usually fine with that. I have always deferred to Victoria on things.
She’s stronger and tougher than I am and I love that in her.
When we went to Europe at twenty-six, she chose the tour and the days we were going to leave and where we were going to go and I just transferred her the money when she said to.
We wanted to visit as many places as we could but we only had a couple of months so some places had to be left out.
I wanted to see Croatia and she wanted to see Paris so we went to Paris.
While there, I wanted to get to bed early enough to be up for a full day of touring and she wanted to go clubbing, so we went clubbing.
I wanted to catch a taxi home from the club because it felt like we were in a sketchy area and she wanted to walk, so we walked and when we were confronted by a man with a knife, I froze and she screamed and kicked out at him so he ran.
When Victoria asks me what I think we should do about something, it’s because she’s decided what to do and needs me to comply.
And I really don’t mind doing that most of the time.
I have enough things to manage. It’s nice to have someone else take a bit of the mental load.
But I’m not sure about letting her take the lead here.
I really don’t know. Her message was quite threatening. What does she want? How did she think we would respond to that? And what does she mean about building our lives on a lie? She was the one who lied.
Even as I type the words, I can feel my grandmother shaking her head at me. She hated liars, calling them the very worst kind of people. But I’m sure that even my grandmother understood that some lies need to be told.
I don’t know and I really don’t care. She was an angry bitch then and she obviously hasn’t changed. I think we should just delete the message and block her. She can crawl back into whatever hole she crawled out of. Screw her for contacting us now with vague threats.
And now I feel even worse because I’ve opened up a discussion with Camilla.
Victoria is one of my oldest friends and if I was the kind of friend I should be, I would just delete the messages now.
But I can’t help wondering exactly what Camilla is going to say and why she is saying that there’s stuff I don’t know about Victoria.
And I can’t risk her telling Victoria anything.
I guess it’s a combination of morbid curiosity and fear.
‘If you don’t put down your phone, you won’t sleep,’ says Nick as he walks into our bedroom.
Let’s speak tomorrow, I quickly text Victoria who responds with a thumbs up emoji.
‘You’re right,’ I agree with my husband as I make sure my phone is on silent and pick up my Kindle so I can read.
‘Do you think we can have my folks over for lunch on Sunday?’ Nick asks and I nod because, even though I do all the calling for the animal shelter on a Sunday, I really like his parents, Abi and Jeff.
They’ve always been very kind to me. Nick is three years older than me and when I met his mother for the first time she told me, when we were alone in her spacious kitchen loading the dishwasher after a delicious tea, ‘We were worried that he’d never find the right one. ’
I wasn’t sure how to reply to that since Nick and I had only been going out for a few months.
‘Oh,’ said Abi, blushing as I handed her the next plate to load. ‘I really wasn’t supposed to say that,’ and then she laughed and I had to laugh with her. I was glad to know Nick felt that way about me. I was in love with him, just not quite ready for the marriage commitment.
They’ve been really supportive grandparents, helping me out whenever I need it. And I have my mother as well. The kids are really lucky to have such wonderful grandparents.
‘I can make roast chicken. Your dad likes that.’
‘Perfect,’ he says as he starts undressing. He’s in great shape because the building that houses his office has a gym downstairs and he works out at lunch, claiming it helps him process cases.
‘Did you get everything done?’
‘Yep, things are a lot easier since the new graduate joined the firm.’
‘That’s good.’
‘Yeah, she’s really onto everything and even though she still makes some mistakes, she’s always so willing to listen. I think she’s going to make an excellent lawyer.’
‘She, hmm,’ I say as he makes his way to our en-suite bathroom for a shower. ‘Is she pretty?’ I ask the question as a joke because I’ve never doubted Nick. His distance of late is probably more in my head than in reality.
‘Oh,’ he says, flushing slightly. ‘I… well, I haven’t thought about that.’
He goes into the bathroom and closes the door and I try to go back to my Kindle but there is a twist of unease inside me.
Does he think the new graduate is pretty? Why would he lie to me if he did? He never has before. I know that men look at women and I’ve never resented it when his head is turned by someone beautiful.
Giving up concentrating on my book, I switch off my light and squish my pillow until I get comfortable. This morning all I really had to worry about was the Goldman wedding.
Now there’s been a message from my past, I’ve lied to my best friend and I think my husband is attracted to a young woman at work.
I hate feeling like things are out of my control, like there’s stuff I don’t know, and I blame Camilla for that, for what she did.
I worked so hard to overcome the damage she inflicted on my life.
Everything I have tucked away in some part of my mind is coming back now and I have to wonder if I should be blaming my best friend for what happened as well? That’s what Camilla wants me to do. Is it just her messing with me? Is she telling the truth? What don’t I know about Victoria?
I shake off the thought. Victoria is right. I don’t need to think about what Camilla is trying to do. I’m not going to allow her back into my life and I should block her.
Picking up my phone again, I quickly type, I actually think it’s best if we don’t talk. Sorry.
Wow, you’ve changed.
Was she just waiting for this message?
If I have then it’s because you changed me. I’m sorry. Please don’t contact me again.
That’s a bad decision Reese. Watch what happens now.