Chapter 16
Zara
We land at a private airstrip just outside of Austin. The first thing that hits me when I step of the plane is the heat. It’s dry, and it almost feels like it’s burning my throat.
“You’ll get used to it. Although I don’t know how long we’ll be staying now,” he says as he pulls the door closed on the waiting car.
The air conditioning kicks in immediately, and I feel the relief. “I didn’t think it would be this hot.”
“It’s going to get hotter, believe me. I can’t wait to show you the ranch. I’ve got some trail horses there. We can take them out tomorrow in the morning before the sun gets too high in the sky.”
“Okay, but you need to do what you came here to do first. I’m not going to be a distraction.”
“You’re always a distraction. Even when you weren’t around, you were distracting me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing . . . but when I can’t see you, I wonder what’s going on.”
“That sounds like you have some weird stalker syndrome. Don’t be telling anyone else that.” I laugh, and he smiles back.
He’s a lot different to how I imagined him to be. His family is totally different from mine. They talk to each other and laugh and joke. His brothers poke fun at him, which I found amusing—but needless to say, Drew found it annoying.
It’s not a long drive to the ranch, and as we enter the long, straight driveway, Drew turns, takes my face in his hands, and kisses me so softly.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” he says, his head tipped downward.
“What?”
“The woman who runs the stables . . .”
“Yeah?” I think I know where this is going.
“She’s a bit of a bitch.”
“Oh!” Not exactly what I thought he was going to say.
“She sees me as her surrogate son. Don’t be surprised if she’s not as friendly as you’d like.”
“Okay, but you do remember telling me to stand up for myself, don’t you?”
“Yes!” He rolls his eyes. “Just don’t let her piss you off. Best thing you can do is stay out of her way as much as possible.”
I nod, and as the car pulls to a stop, I take a look around.
Wow . . . there are six big outbuildings, and another that looks like a giant warehouse, and then I spot a house, just how I imagined an American house would look: a white wooden building with a wraparound veranda.
“This is huge.” I gasp.
“It’s a pretty big operation. I should spend a lot more time here than I do.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I love England. I love the seasons, and I love the people. Mostly,” he says with a wink and a smile.
“Drew Blackmoore in the flesh. Why didn’t you say you were coming?” A woman who appears to be in her sixties walks towards us, and when she sees me, she slows her steps.
“Good afternoon, Kathleen,” he says, opening his arms wide.
“Ah, my boy. I hope this isn’t a flying visit. I’ve got so much to tell you,” she says as she falls into his embrace but quickly pulls out of it again and starts to walk away with him, her arm wrapped around his waist.
He takes a couple of steps and then stops.
“Kathleen, I’ve brought someone to meet you,” he says, turning around. “This is Zara, my—” He stops talking and rubs his foot into the ground like a shy teenager.
I step forward and offer out my hand. “Hi, I’m Zara. Drew’s friend.”
“Hmm,” Kathleen replies, not taking my hand and not really looking at me either.
“Kathleen . . . Zara is important to me. Please be kind to her.”
“If you say so, sweetheart,” she replies, and I feel like the invisible man. I hope this trip improves drastically and quickly.
“Let’s go over to the house. I’ve got coffee on. I know how you love your coffee after a long flight,” Kathleen says, linking arms with Drew, leaving me standing there again.
He’s at least ten steps away from me when he turns and waves for me to follow.
We walk through the front door of the house. It’s beautiful. It’s not like Drew’s apartment or like his brothers’ homes. It’s homely, a mix of wood colours in deep reds and dark brown, a mishmash of different furniture scattered around, and a huge fireplace that takes pride of place.
“It’s a beautiful house,” I say, hoping to catch their attention. But they don’t respond; they just continue, deep in their conversation.
“So, you’ve had two horses poisoned since the girl came into your life?” Kathleen spits and sends me an accusatory glance.
“It’s not Zara. It could be her father, but it’s not her. She was with me in New York when Greenland’s went down.”
“She could have arranged it,” she snaps.
“I am standing here!” I bark at them both. “If this is what staying here is going to be like, I’d rather sleep with the horses.”
“You’re not going anywhere near my horses. They are far too valuable—”
“Kathleen do not talk to Zara like that. She isn’t responsible. I have never fallen out with you over anything, but if you don’t pull your head out of your ass, there will be consequences.”
The old cow looks at me, and I can feel the hate burning through my skin. I don’t know why she hates me already. I’ve been here all of five minutes.
“Can we start over?” I ask, hoping to make things easier.
“Whatever, darling, you just stay on your side of the fence, okay? Stay away from my horses, stay out of my kitchen, and don’t use all the hot water.” She smiles at me sarcastically, kisses Drew on the cheek, and leaves.
“You weren’t kidding, were you?” I ask, shaking off her sharp words.
“No, she’ll come around. Just stick by me, and you’ll be fine.”
“Why was she so awful to me?”
“She wants me to move here permanently, and you know that I don’t want to. She’ll see you as a pull to keep me in the UK.”
I just shake my head in disbelief. My life just keeps getting worse, and I get a real pain in my chest. It feels like I’m being crushed.
“Zara . . . Zara?” I hear Drew calling me, but I can’t get my words out. “Kathleen, get your ass in here!” he yells. I can hear him, but everything is swishing around, and I can’t catch my breath.
“It’s okay, Princess. You’re going to be fine. You need to try and slow your breathing. Just stop trying to breathe so hard.”
I can hear the old cow saying something, but I’m trying to stop myself from dying.
Eventually, I manage to swallow and take a breath and then another, and then someone passes me a bottle of water.
I take a sip of the cold water, and it burns as it goes down my throat.
“I’m sorry,” I croak out. “I just couldn’t breathe.”
“Let’s get you upstairs. You can have a rest,” Drew says, lifting my legs off the floor. My arms wrap around his neck.
“I don’t need a rest.”
“You’ll do as you’re told. You nearly passed out.” He puts me down on a big four-poster bed. The decoration is anything but masculine. The curtains are white with huge pale-pink flowers. The bedding matches perfectly. It’s so old-fashioned, I feel like I’ve been transported back into the 1980s.
“Fine, but only for a few minutes,” I agree and turn my back to him and curl up in a ball. Drew must have been right, which is really frustrating, because I must have fallen asleep. I wake up when he comes into the room, and I realise the sun is setting.
“What time is it?” I ask, yawning and wiping my eyes.
Drew walks over to the bed and sits down next to me. “Time you get up, or you won’t sleep tonight.”
“This bed is really comfy.” I snuggle further into the pillow.
“I know. If I could have it shipped to the UK, I would.”
“Why don’t you? It’s really nice.”
“You’ve met Kathleen . . . That would be another nail in the coffin. She’s sorry, by the way.”
“Really? I don’t think she’ll mean it.”
“She does. I’ve explained a little of what we’ve both been going through.”
I tilt my head and look at him. “Why? So, she’d feel sorry for me?” I sit up sharply on the bed.
“No, to give you something in common. Kathleen’s husband was a bastard. It’s what’s made her hard to new people. I was hoping she wasn’t going to be so difficult with you.”
“Did her husband . . .”
“Yeah, he did. Nearly killed her a couple of times—before I knew her—and she still wears the scars.”
“How did you meet her?”
“I’ve been to a few trainers to learn to ride. But she taught me how to race and how to connect with a horse. You could say she was my best friend for a long time, the son she never had.”
“Oh, Drew . . .” I lean forward and wrap my arms around him. “You’re not a total arsehole, are you?”
“It’s asshole, not arsehole,” he says in a very poor English accent, which makes us both fall back onto the bed laughing.
“Dinner is ready!” Kathleen shouts from downstairs.
“What are we having?” I whisper.
“Barbeque, wine, and beer.” He smiles, offers me his hand, and helps me up from the bed.
***
The evening goes by really smoothly. Kathleen is like a different person, and I’m surprised to see Drew in charge of the grill.
“He’s not bad!” I joke to Kathleen, who isn’t looking at me like I’m her next kill anymore.
“I taught him everything he knows. He couldn’t even make pancakes when I first met him, and pancakes are part of an American’s staple diet. You know how to make them, don’t you?”
“I do, but don’t ask Drew about the mint omelette I made him. We both nearly threw up.”
Kathleen laughs so hard I think she’s going to keel over.
“What are you two laughing at?” Drew calls over.
“Mint omelettes!” Kathleen shouts back over.
“Yeah, she tried to kill me, and she didn’t even know me that well.”
“She knew you enough.” Kathleen cries with laughter.
Drew places the steaks down on the table, along with chicken, baked potatoes, rice, and so much other food. I look at him wide-eyed, and he smiles back and then nods at Kathleen.
She pulls a whistle out of her pocket and blows it three times hard. My ear drums nearly pop.
“What the hell? You could have warned me!” I shriek.
Drew smiles and waves at someone behind me. I turn to see who it is and see five huge guys walking towards us.
I spin back around to see Drew smiling wider than I’ve ever seen him.
“Boss, you should have said you were coming. We would have had Sapphire ready for you.”
“It was meant to be a surprise. I just wanted to drop in and see how things are going. Kathleen says that we’re on track to take a few cups this year.”
“Should be. We’ve also got a perfect stud. His foals should bring a few thousand dollars.”
“Good to know. Maybe we can bring him over to the UK and let him have his way with my British girls.”
The biggest one shakes his head. “He ain’t going nowhere. He likes his women here just fine.”
Drew’s head snaps up, and he stares the big guy in the eye. “If I want that horse in England, that’s where it will be. Remember who you’re talking to.”
“Yeah, of course, Boss. I just don’t think he’ll travel well.”
“We’ll see. Now, let’s eat.”
The table soon fills with huge bodies, and the food disappears off the plates in a flash. The bottles of beer that sat in the cooler also disappear, leaving the wine for me and Kathleen. Four bottles of wine. The conversation flows, and so does the wine. The guys are all telling jokes and stories of what’s happened over the last few months since Drew was last here.
The wine and open air hit me all of a sudden. “I think I need to go . . . to bed,” I announce, trying to stand up, my legs betraying me and becoming jelly.
“I think your girl has had too much of that lady drink,” one of the guys says.
“I think you’re right. I best make sure she gets to bed okay,” Drew says, helping me up from the table, while I giggle and wobble all over the place.
He walks me into the house and up the stairs.
“Why the hell did you drink so much?” he asks.
“Why did you put four bottles of wine on the table?” I reply.
“I didn’t think you’d drink them all. You do realise that Kathleen has had the same glass all night?”
“Really?” I exclaim. “That means . . . That means . . . Oh fuck, what does it mean?”
His breath hitches as he struggles to manoeuvre me through the door into the bedroom. “It means you’re drunk.”
“But you still like me, don’t you?” I slur out the words, my body sagging against the wall.
“Yes, as long as you don’t make it a habit.”
“Oooh you like nuns in habits? Maybe I’ll dress up for you one day.”
“Zara. You’re smashed. Here . . .” he says, moving me around on the bed. “Lie there and go to sleep.”
“Yes, Boss,” I mumble sleepily. “I’m thinking I love you . . .” I sing in a very drunk off-key voice.
He doesn’t answer, but eventually he says, “Night, Zara.”
***
Bang, bang, bang! Bang, bang, bang!
Oh my god, what is happening? I open my eyes, and the sun blaring in through the window blinds me.
“Oh god,” I groan, lifting my hands to hold my head.
“Headache?” Drew’s voice echoes around the room.
“Yeah, and I feel sick, too. How much did I have to drink?”
He laughs, and it hurts my head. “Enough for five people, I’d say.”
“Oh no, did I do anything to embarrass you? I’m sorry if I did. I don’t remember much after we had dessert.”
“No, you didn’t. But I don’t think you should drink that much again for a while. Your liver will be literally pickled.”
“I wonder how Kathleen is?” I ask.
He continues to laugh. “She’s fine. She’s been hard at work all morning.”
I sit up too fast and nearly vomit. “What time . . . is it?”
“It’s noon. I thought I better make sure you were still alive and bring you some painkillers.”
I reach out my hand. “Please . . . give me anything that will stop this banging and stop laughing. It really hurts.”
He hands me two tablets and a bottle of water, which I take immediately. He looks different this morning, like something’s on his mind.
“Have Laura or Carlos been in contact?” I ask.
“Yeah, it’s all quiet. Greenland’s is back on his feet, and Luna is doing well, too.”
Hmm, so it’s not his horses. “So, what’s up?”
He dips his head and smiles and then lifts it to look at me. “Do you remember anything you said last night?”
I shake my head, and it feels like it’s going to come off my shoulders.
“Erghh . . . no. Why? Oh god, what did I say? I didn’t upset Kathleen or one of the guys, did I?”
He leans forward and kisses me on my lips. “No, Princess. You didn’t piss anyone off. It’s all good.”
I’m confused. Which wouldn’t take much right now. "So, why did you ask me if I could remember anything?”
He moves some of my wild hair out of my face and kisses my nose. “Somone might have told me they loved me.”
My heart stops, and my stomach rolls over. Oh god . . . I can’t deny it, but I can’t admit it either.
“I’m going to be sick.” I jump up out of the bed and run for the bathroom.
I hear him flop back on to the bed. “That’s not a cool thing to do, you know!” he yells from the bedroom. “Telling someone you love them and then running to be sick. It’s not the most convincing declaration.”
“Shut up, Drew Blackmoore!” I yell back whilst looking at the most horrific sight in the mirror.
I pull my hair up into a bun on the top of my head, splash my face with cold water, and take another long look. My eyes are bloodshot, and my skin is an awful grey colour. I look around for my makeup bag and realise that I haven’t unpacked it yet. Shit! Oh well, this is the real me. I hope he won’t have nightmares.
I walk into the bedroom, and Drew is laid on the bed with his legs crossed, and he’s reading something on his phone.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, my hands covering my ghastly face.
“Don’t be. It was quite entertaining.”
I crawl on to the bed and curl up into a ball next to him. “Please don’t make fun of me.”
He turns over to face me and pulls me close. “I’m not, but you did get me thinking last night.”
“About what?”
“About us and not putting a label on this . . . I think I would like it if I could call you, my girlfriend.”
“Are you officially asking me, Drew Blackmoore?”
He sighs and kisses my head. “If it’ll stop you declaring your undying love when you’re drunk, yeah, I want to make us official.”
I cringe and bury my head into his chest. “Please tell me I didn’t go into detail.”
He chuckles right from his belly, and it warms me all the way through. “No, Princess, you didn’t. You didn’t get that far. But I think it’s only fair to tell you that . . .”
Oh god, he’s going to tell me he doesn’t feel the same way.
“That I have feelings for you, too. Is it love? I don’t know, I’ve never been in love. I only know that I will do anything and everything to make sure you’re happy and safe.”
I want to lean up and kiss him and tell him that I do love him, but I don’t. I cuddle in tighter and just enjoy the moment.
We spend another night in Austin, Texas before the car arrives to take us back to the plane. Kathleen pulls me to one side and gives me a huge hug. “They never change, sweetheart. They will promise it won’t happen again, but it will, it always does, and it’ll only be a matter of time before he goes too far. Stay as far away as possible and let Drew protect you. He’s a good man, Zara, with a very kind heart once you find it.”
I smile and kiss her on her cheek and nod in response to her message. I’ve already promised myself it doesn’t matter what my father says, I’m never going to forgive him.
I’m surprised that when we board, the pilot has changed.
“Hey, Drew,” the pilot says, shaking his hand.
“Graham, this is Zara, my girlfriend.” A flush of heat runs through me, making me feel safe and cared for.
“We are waiting on the crew. Late as always,” he says, and I feel Drew stiffen.
We take our seats, and I take his hand in mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Remember that stewardess that Gee was on about?” he says, holding his head in one hand.
“You’re joking.”
He shakes his head no.
My palms become sweaty as I hold his hand. I don’t know if it’s mine or his. “How do you know? They’re not even here yet.”
“Shelly is the only one of them that is ever late. I can’t fucking believe it. Now I know how Carter felt.” He’s still shaking his head, and I want to tell him it doesn’t matter.
The captain is waiting by the door when I hear him shout, “Where the hell have you been?”
But it’s not a female voice that replies. “The damn taxi went to the wrong hotel. Then it was on the way to Austin Airport and not here. I swear, I could have throttled the guy.”
Drew’s head snaps up as he sees a tall blond surfer type guy board the plane. The breath he lets out could have powered a hot air balloon.
“I think you and Carter are even now. I’ve never seen you look so scared since I’ve met you.”
“She’s fucking scary, Zara. I never ever want to see her again. No wonder Carter didn’t want anything more than just sex with her.” He grimaces and realises he just made things worse. “Forget everything I just said.”
We take off with no further problems, and the pilot comes over the speakers to tell us the flight time will be just under ten hours, but he’s expecting a tailwind, which should cut an hour or so off the time.
“Is it really that far to Kentucky?”
“We’re going home. I know I said we’d be away a couple of weeks or maybe more, but I need to be there. I need to protect my business and my employees.”
“Okay, but you didn’t think to let me know?”
“I just did. I only decided this morning and called the team to see if it was possible.”
So, my escape from reality is cut short, my time to heal is over. All because Drew decided it was. I’ve never been so angry in my entire life.
He spends a lot of the flight napping or on his emails, while I pretend to sleep or read. I know that if I open my mouth now, I’m going to sound petulant, so I stay quiet and brood. Thank god I’ll have Laura around when we get back, and if this is how he’s going to be, I’ll unpack in the spare room.
My internal rant goes on for hours—things I wish I could say to him, things I know I shouldn’t say but really bloody want to—until it all becomes too much, and I move from my seat into the bedroom at the back.
I’m only in there a few minutes before Drew follows. “You should have said if you were tired. I’d have come with you.”
The words I just did are on the tip of my tongue, but instead, I rest my head on the pillow and close my eyes.
“Is this because I didn’t ask your permission?” he snaps.
I don’t reply. At least he’s worked out why I’m annoyed.
“Zara! I am not arguing with you about this. I wanted to go back home, and that’s final.”
I still don’t reply. It’s not worth it.
He closes the door to the bedroom, and I think he’s gone, but when I open one eye, he’s standing there looking at me.
“I don’t understand women at all. I thought you’d be pleased to be going home.”
“Did you even ask me? Or even tell me what you were thinking?”
“I shouldn’t have to. I was away on business, and you came with me. If my plans change, I don’t need to have them approved by you.”
I close both eyes again and breathe in the cool air, wishing time to pass quickly so the stupidly long flight would suddenly go ten times faster.
I open both eyes and take a good look at the man I thought I’d fallen in love with. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn’t want to go back so quickly? That I was feeling relaxed for the first time in years, not looking over my shoulder and worrying what’s going to happen next? Did it?”
He stands there staring, and then he shakes his head and moves to the door. The plane suddenly hits turbulence, and Drew, despite his size, bounces around like a Ping-Pong ball until he finally lands on top of me on the bed.
“Oww!” I yell, batting him off me.
“Let’s not fight, Zara. I know you don’t want to go back so soon. I should have told you what I was thinking, yes, you’re right, but I’ve never had to consider anyone else before. I do my own thing, go at my own pace, and go where the hell I please.”
“You also said you’d call in and see your parents on the way back.”
“They’ll understand. They always do with us boys. We’re not exactly the most reliable when it comes to visiting our kin, but if it makes you feel any better, I’ll arrange another trip soon.”
“Has something happened?” I ask.
He’s silent for a long second, and then he says, “Your father has started spreading rumours that I’m drugging my horses. He’s also registered you as a missing person. The police want to speak with you as soon as we get back.”
“But I’m not missing. He knows I’m not missing.”
“The police are concerned I’ve coerced you in some way. You just need to tell them the truth.”
“Have you spoken to them?” He seems to know more about this than he’s letting on.
“They called me in the middle of the night. I didn’t wake you because you’ve already dealt with so much. They just want to see you in the flesh, on your own. They want to make sure you’re safe and being with me is your decision.”
“I can’t believe it. I can’t actually believe he would stoop so low.” I look at Drew, and he looks both angry and worried. “Is this why you’ve been like a bear with a sore head today?”
“I was going to tell you when we neared landing. I didn’t want you worrying about it for the next eight hours.”
“You’ve got to stop protecting me from things like this. It makes me feel stupid and weak, and I could have simply spoken to the police and put them straight.”
“They want to see you. They demanded I bring you home or there would be a warrant out for my arrest. Your father has convinced them that I’ve kidnapped you.”
“Tell them to speak to Laura and Carlos.”
“I did. Your father has said they are on my payroll, so they are not reliable as witnesses.”
“I fucking hate him. I really do. Why can’t he just leave me alone to live my life? He hates me, why does he want to ruin my life, too?” I ask angrily, but then tears start to fall. I wipe them away quickly and sit up on the bed. “I’m not going to let him get away with this. Do you have those photos on your phone?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Because I’m going to show the police exactly what I was running from.”