Chapter 13
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
Alie
When I get back to my office, I go right into the bathroom, close the door, and lock it.
I’m not prone to getting panic attacks, but I might just have one today.
I grab the sides of my sink and hang my head down, taking deep breaths in and out.
Seeing him again was everything and nothing like I’d expected it would be.
I didn’t expect him to look so happy to see me.
Makes me wonder if he remembers everything about that night the way I do.
I turn on the faucet and splash some water on my face, trying to cool down the flush in my cheeks. I need to get control of myself because I’m going to have to deal with him on a regular basis.
A knock on the door doesn’t surprise me, but I’m also not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.
“Alie, it’s me. Open up,” my sister says from the other side of the door.
“Give me a minute,” I tell her.
“Come on, Alie. I just wanna make sure you’re okay. I have to go back downstairs and get everything set up for his testing.”
I dry off my face. Take another deep breath, then straighten my shirt and open the door.
“I’m fine, I promise. I’m not gonna lie—it was a lot to see him. But I’ve been preparing for this for the last few weeks, so it’ll be okay.” I suck in a breath. “I’ll figure out a way to deal with this.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince myself or my sister.
“Okay, but I also need to find a way to work with him because I’m about to tear into him.
I still can’t get over the fact that he wanted nothing to do with you and the baby, and now you’re gonna have to look at him all the time.
What happens if he sees the baby? And Alie, you know Mom and Dad are gonna realize this out soon enough.
Seraphina looks exactly like him—not just her eyes, her smile, and her hair color, but some of her mannerisms. Like the little dimple she gets when she smiles is identical to his.
” She reaches for me, but I move to my desk.
If she hugs me right now, I’ll probably start to cry, and I hate to cry, dammit.
“No, I know it’s gonna be hard to keep this a secret for too long from Mom and Dad anyway. And he might not want to have anything to do with her, but I guess it’s inevitable. He’s gonna see her around the complex. He could very well see her in the nursery today.”
Thankfully, we have a nursery on-site. My family has always supported on-site child care, so I can pop down to see her anytime I want.
I pick up the picture of my daughter off my desk.
It’s from her first birthday in September.
Her chubby little cheeks are smeared with pink frosting from her cake.
She really does look a lot like him. I never told my parents who her father was, but Presley is right.
One look at them, and anyone could figure it out, especially now that he’s here.
I knew this was a possibility when discussions started about bringing him here, but in all honesty, he is what’s best for our team. I can’t let our past or our daughter compromise the role he has here. We need a winning season.
“I won’t say anything to him out of respect for you, Al.
You need to clean up your own mess, but it’s gonna be hard for me to bite my tongue, so if I can make a suggestion …
I think it would be best for everybody involved if you have a private discussion with him sooner rather than later.
We’re all going to have to work together, and we’ll likely have to address that Seraphina is his daughter publicly.
” She sits in the chair across from me and leans on the desk, arms crossed.
“I don’t see any reason to announce that publicly. She has our last name.” I set the picture back on my desk.
“Well, if that’s how you feel about it, what are you gonna do if he changes his mind and decides he does want to be involved with the baby? Wants her to have his name?”
“I think … it’s a little too late, don’t you think, Pres?
He made that decision when he found out I was pregnant.
He’s had time to come to me to ask me about her, and he never did.
He was too busy with football and who knows what else.
He could have a girlfriend for all I know.
But I guess I should notify our attorney what’s going on.
Just in case we need him.” The thought makes me sick, but I try to act like I don’t care.
“Maybe, but you know that the text message from that girl in New Orleans had to be fake. Pretty sure you would know by now if he had another baby with someone else. Well, maybe not if he didn’t want anything to do with that baby either.
” She shrugs. “I don’t know. As much as I don’t like him for not wanting to be a part of Seraphina’s life, I think there might be more to the story here, and I think you owe it to your daughter to find out.
It’s not a bad idea to let the attorney know, but I don’t think you should do anything until you talk to Liam. ”
“I’m just not sure I can do it today. I have a lot to think about for work, and Liam Pitz will have to go on the back burner for the rest of the day.
I have more contracts to review. And I have to turn in all the numbers to the board by Friday.
I really don’t have the time to deal with my private life right now, so for my sake, I’m hoping that I have a little bit of time before I have to deal with him one-on-one. ” I drop my head back onto my chair.
“Okay, but I’m telling you, Alie, you need to do it as soon as possible.
We need to know how to handle this as a family because, in some way or another, Liam Pitz is going to have to come to terms with the fact that he has a daughter and that his daughter is part of our legacy.
” She reaches for my hand that’s resting on my desk.
“You’re right; I will, I promise.”
She clears her throat. “Can I play devil's advocate a little bit here, Alie?”
“I guess if you must. You don’t listen to me anyway.”
“What if he does have a change of heart and wants to be a part of her life? What are you gonna do about that?”
“If Liam wants to be in Seraphina’s life? That’s what I wanted when this all started. I want my daughter to have a father. That’s not an issue though. He didn’t want her the last year and a half, so he certainly won’t want her now.”
“He could. And what if he wants you too?”
“That’s …” My breath hitches at the thought. “Wouldn’t matter. He’s the most selfish man I’ve ever met.”
Presley tsks. “Because the way he was staring at you in that boardroom today … if I didn’t hate him so much, I would’ve been turned on just by the way he was looking at you.
And as much as I hate to admit it, that man is even more gorgeous in person than he is on television or any photo I’ve seen.
You are one lucky bitch to have seen that man naked. ”
“Presley, honestly! Don’t talk about him like that. He’s one of our players and your niece's father.”
“Oh, come on. You can’t tell me that you didn’t see him and want to drop your drawers.”
I smile. “I mean, okay, I’ll admit he’s even better looking now than he was the last time I saw him, if that’s possible, but I cannot entertain the thought of being with him again.
It would be a distraction for me personally, but even more so professionally.
This is strictly a business relationship, even though he’s Seraphina’s father. ”
“Okay, well, just a reminder: he does not have a no fraternization guideline in his contract, so really, if he wanted to go after you and you consented, nobody could stop him.”
“Trust me. I am not going to fall for Liam’s charms, no matter how gorgeous he is.”
“You could fuck him and leave him. Tie him up, then walk away, leaving him in an incredibly embarrassing position for someone to see.”
“Presley!” I admonish and yet find myself laughing.
She may be a straight shooter, but she has one twisted mind.
“I mean, I suppose Dad could technically fire him if he wanted to, but then we’d have to pay out his contract, and it’d get ugly, and as much as he loves us, I don’t think he would do that, even for you.” She grimaces. “You know what I mean.”
“Dad doesn’t like ugly press, but he does love me, and he loves Seraphina more, so let’s just take all of this one day at a time and try to contain the problem the best we can.”
“The problem being Liam?”
“Yes, Presley.”
“Liam, the problem or the savior of the Titan dynasty? I wonder which one Liam Pitz will turn out to be.” She releases my hand and taps her chin.
“Get out of here. Go do medical things. Go take his blood pressure and sweat samples or whatever it is you do down there.”
She stands, laughing. “Okay, so you won’t be upset if I see him naked, right?”
“I’m serious, Presley. Get out of here.”
“I’m going, I’m going, but for real, you’re sure you’re not gonna be upset if I see him naked?”
“Presley.”
“Okay, fine. I’m going, but I’ll let you know if he looks as good as what you said the night after you had sex with him.” She giggles and waves.
“Get out of here!” I throw a pen at her as she walks out the door, then slump back in my chair.
I can do this.
I can be around Liam Pitz and do my job effectively.
I can be around Liam Pitz without caring what he does in his personal time.
I can be around Liam Pitz and try not to see my daughter in his face.
Let’s see how long that lasts.
A few hours later, I wrapped up my day and picked up my daughter from the nursery, and we went home to our apartment in the city. We live in the same building as my parents on Central Park West.
When Seraphina was born, I decided to move out of their penthouse, but I wanted to stay close, so I accepted the unit a few floors down from them as a gift. I’m not one to take handouts, but after months of their insistence, I finally accepted the home under one condition—no more handouts.
Seraphina and I spend most of our time at my parents’, but it’s nice to have a space of our own. Even though my parents were shocked by my pregnancy, she is the apple of their eyes, and of course, she’s spoiled rotten by them, but I’m trying to raise her as normally as I can.
After grabbing something to eat for myself and feeding Seraphina her dinner, I gave her a bath, which is her favorite. Now we’re in her room, and I’m reading her a bedtime story. She chose Guess How Much I Love You. It’s one of her favorites. Sometimes, she even wants me to read it twice.
Not tonight though. She tends to get chatty at night, and tonight is one of those nights. It’s like she has to purge whatever energy she has left from the day.
“I pwayed trucks.”
“Did you play with a friend?”
“Pwayed with Efan.”
“You mean Ethan?”
“Yes, Efan.”
“Right, okay.” I just smile and nod this time, not bothering to correct her. Besides, it’s cute.
Just like she did as a baby, she likes to hold pieces of my hair while we chat and cuddle.
She twirls it so tight sometimes that I get knots, but I don’t mind because I know it won’t last forever.
It’s the little moments like this that make all the worries of my day go away.
The love that I have for her is indescribable.
She pauses her story about trucks and sits up. “Mommy, I need ball.”
I twist my body to see if it’s behind me, and luckily, it is. She can’t sleep without the pink football stuffed toy that Aaron got her when she was an infant. “Got it.” I reach over the guardrail on her bed and hand it to her, and then she tucks it close to her chest.
She lies back down, takes a piece of my hair again, and continues her mumbled story.
I have one arm tucked under the pillow, and my other gently rubs her back.
Her little pajamas have pink footballs on them too.
They’re from my dad. I’ve tried teddy bears, baby dolls, and blankies, but she cannot go to sleep unless she has her football in her hands, and she loves her football pajamas.
Her two favorite guys are my dad and Aaron.
Throughout my pregnancy and when she was born, Aaron stood by my side.
He was supportive in every way a best friend could be, and he loves my little girl.
And though Aaron and I have never been together romantically, we are often together.
To an outsider, we look like a family when we’re in public.
He’s even been called her father, and he doesn’t correct them.
Instead, he just says thank you. I also remain quiet, not wanting to explain, and let him assume that role, but at home or at the facility, he’s Uncle Aaron.
He’s had his share of problems this year.
He was injured last season, and it was career-ending.
Luckily, his rehab progressed quickly, and even though he’s no longer able to play football, he is still involved in sports.
He recently took a job as an agent with one of the top agencies here in New York, so we still get to see him all the time.
Right now, though, he’s out of town, working with new clients, and it’s the NHL playoff season, so he’s been traveling around, watching the games of some of his athletes.
I’m sure he’s heard about Liam’s trade, and I’m kind of surprised that he hasn’t asked me about it yet. It’s been all over the news.
Seraphina’s eyes start to get heavy, and she yawns, pausing her story about Ethan and the trucks.
Everything that weighs on me about how to handle and work with Liam eases when I watch my little girl fall asleep.
The moments with her, being present with my baby, are what give me purpose and pure happiness.
I lie next to her for a few more minutes to make sure she’s fully sleeping and study her little face.
She really does look so much like her dad, and my stomach clenches.
I just don’t understand how he couldn’t want to be a part of this beautiful baby’s life.
She’s my world. Even through the hardest times, when she was a baby and not sleeping through the night, I was grateful that I’d been given this gift of being her mama.
I lean down and kiss her on the forehead and breathe in her sweet scent. Her dark brown, silky hair is starting to get a little wave to it, just like Liam has, more and more every day.
I continue watching her as she sleeps, peaceful and content. When her breathing falls into a rhythm where I know she’s out for the night, I brush my fingers through her silky, soft hair and tuck her close to me because I have a feeling our world is about to change.