Chapter 34 #4
Tom Raven stood at the bottom of the porch steps. He stepped forward and held out his hand to Teddy Kynaston. She did not move, merely stared at him.
‘Allie,’ said Tom, his eyes hollow. ‘Please – I’m so sorry about this morning. About what I said. About following you here –’ He was staring down at Teddy. ‘Forgive me,’ he said, in a quiet voice. ‘What’s your friend’s name? She looks so familiar.’
‘Oh, Tom,’ said Alice gently. She wished she could make it easier for him.
‘Tom, this is Teddy,’ said Alice, and she saw his expression change.
‘She’s my friend.’ She put the unopened package on the table, out of the way, and unfolded the two letters again.
‘She’s given me these letters to read. I’m going to read them out loud, if that’s okay.
I think you’ll understand when you’ve heard them. ’
Alice unfolded the first letter.
Sevenstones
Tallboys
Wilts.
Dear Edward –
I’ve made the most enormous mistake; so have you.
Yes it has been a lovely summer. Too lovely, as you’ve seen.
I am having your child. I understand what a bind this puts you and Irene in.
Irene is a trooper for saying all’s fair in love and war – it’s not true.
I’ve hurt all the people I most care about, her, and you, and Jenny, of course. Poor Jenny.
When I was a child I caused my family enormous trouble.
I had these fits, I think they were seizures, and my behaviour was what they called erratic.
My brother had doctor after doctor come look me over, and they were all concerned that I had some kind of mental disorder.
I’m sure that’s the case, in that I always felt I was doing everything wrong – breaking things, causing trouble, not paying attention, not excelling in areas where I should, as a young lady, have been excelling.
The strangest part of it all is that when I joined up and became a driver all of that went away.
I was good at my job, I liked the work – no, NO, Edward, I loved it.
I loved the thrill and the camaraderie – heck, you know I’d have loved to have flown a Lysander or a Spitfire one time or more, but girls can’t do … etc.
I wish my ma and pa could have seen me there, seen how happy I was. And those nights and days at Sevenstones. Those nights, Edward –
I love you, darling. I love you with all my heart and soul. I love you.
Tell Irene I am floored by her grace and generosity, by the offer she has made. I agree on one condition: that you raise the child as yours and never tell him who his real mother is. He must be a Caldicott and a Raven. He must never know. That is the only way I can agree.
My brother is coming to collect me after I’ve had the baby and will take me back to America. He sounds angry. But I’ll get around him.
I love you.
I regret none of it, except not running away to find you sooner. I wish we had one more day at Sevenstones. One more night lying on the sarsen stone, gazing up at the moon. We are there, in the walls, in the air, in the dust, we are the past now. I will always be there.
I will love you and this child until my dying day.
Teddy
August 1946
Valhalla,
Orchard
NY
Dear Miss Caldicott
Thank you for returning my sister’s books and other personal effects left behind at your house.
I am sorry she was unable to remove them herself due to the nature of her departure, which was by necessity a surprise to her, and to those present, but it is agreed by all that sedation is essential for best medical practice and recovery.
Lobotomy is a simple procedure & Teddy has responded well to the operation.
She shows no signs of distress or of her former erratic mental retardation, which led to sexual incontinence and the birth of her illegitimate child, conceived with a married man, as I understand you are aware.
You hold some of the blame for your behavior with my sister and I hope that this episode, and her removal, causes you to reflect on your perverted tastes and to begin to amend them.
Teddy is back at home, in Valhalla, is well and happy, and leads a simple life. Her former wild behavior is, fortunately for her, a thing of the past. We are a loving family again. I ask that henceforth all correspondence between us cease.
Yours,
Wilder Kynaston
Alice’s hands were shaking so violently as she finished reading that she could barely hold on to the letters. She felt a calm hand on hers, cool and soft, enclosing it. She looked up into Teddy Kynaston’s blank eyes.
‘Ravenoose,’ Teddy said quietly. ‘Ravenoose.’
Beside her, her son said softly to her, ‘Yes. That’s right. Raven house. There’s a raven’s nest behind the house, isn’t there? I like the ravens. I like watching what they carry up to their nests, for their young.’
She was nodding, staring eagerly at him. ‘Ravenoose.’
‘I love it there. I think Alice would love it there too, don’t you?’
And he sank to the ground and took a ring out of his pocket. He held it up to her, and she took it, staring at it, holding it very carefully between thumb and forefinger. After a few moments Teddy opened her mouth and said, very slowly:
‘Who are you?’ And she smiled at him.
‘I’m Tom,’ Tom said. ‘And Jenny asked me to bring this back to you,’ and he gently put his head in her lap, and she stroked his hair, smiling, the other hand still holding the ring as she stared out to the distant, wooded horizon.