Chapter 31
Traitor
Scarlett
Maddie disappeared a while ago, and if I had to guess where, I’d assume with my brother, then I pushed that thought away as fast as it came. After walking around looking for her without any luck, I went to find Spencer. I round the large fire, where I spot him.
Sitting on the large log, with Ashley on his lap and his hands on her waist. What the actual fuck.
My eyes burn with mania. My heart thumps out of my chest, beating against my rib cage with velocity.
Sweat begins to pool in my hairline as the rage tingles throughout my body, igniting it, starting a fire.
I turn away quickly, shielding my eyes from his betrayal. Storming back to Levi’s car, I spot Maddie coming from behind the trees. She runs up to me. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Her cheeks are flushed, her shirt twisted. Disgusting. I look back and see Spencer making his way around the fire. Fuck.
I look back at Maddie. “Please take me home, now.” She nods and walks me to her car.
We start to pull away when she finally asks, “What’s going on, babe?
” I shake my head. Silently crying in the darkness of her car.
To think he could love me, I’m such a fool.
I’m a fool to believe I would be enough for him.
I stay silent, sulking in my sorrow of betrayal and pity.
“He used me, I saw him. He’s a traitor.”
I take a deep breath, steadying my nerves. “Tell Levi I’m home. Thank you for the ride. Love you.” Not giving her a chance to ask any questions, I slide out of the Jeep and run inside.
Fury is driving my momentum up the stairs, and as I reach my bedroom, I rush to my desk, ripping open the top drawer.
I go deep into the back and grab my lighter.
Flicking the lighter, I watch the flame burn.
I am naive. I am a fool to think he could love me, when even my own mother couldn’t!
I scream at myself, my mind on a loop of outrage and never-ending pain.
Pain was caused by every single person who claimed to love me.
Does love always bring pain? Is this what love is, because if it is, I don't want it!
I hate me. I hate who they made me. Weak. So fucking weak!
My mind is at war with itself, a fighting battle to be good and obey my promise. To not put this lighter to my skin and burn away his touch and the words he tarnished with his actions. To burn the hope that I could be loved. I AM A FOOL!
I slid down the wall onto the bathroom floor, my shorts already ripped off amid my eruption.
Tears fall, staining my cheeks with wet tracks that drop from my chin, splashing across the place my heart should be.
With each tear shed, it slices my heart, of all the words he spoke.
All the promises made. This is why he didn’t tell Levi.
I‘m just another one of the girls who hangs on, who he uses. I am the one everyone uses.
My mother used me as her stand-in, for when she got tired of being beaten, she would hold me in front of her.
My father uses me as his punching bag, and Levi uses me as an excuse to stay in this home, with this shit man, and this shit life.
Spencer used me for his pleasure. It’s time I use myself, like a fucking Christmas tree.
I will light myself up, because it is the only thing I can control.
Flicking the lighter, it glows orange and red, a promise to heal what the others have broken.