Chapter 9
MARTHA
Despite having a travel alarm clock with me, I decided to ask Michelle another favour; to get her colleague working the early shift to phone our room at four so we didn’t miss our lift.
I’d fallen foul of not being on the ball once before in a race and I wasn’t prepared to let that happen again.
Also, as kind as this woman was to be offering us a lift, it really wasn’t up to her to track us down.
When the call came, I was in a deep sleep and irritatingly dreaming about Harrison Golding. I snatched up the phone on the bedside table and was a little short with the poor boy on the other end. When we got our bags together and went through to reception, I was apologetic, though.
‘I’m used to it,’ he said with a grin. ‘No one wants to poke the bear first thing in the morning.’
Elizabeth was our driver. She was a British woman in her fifties who had decided to do some travelling after a bitter divorce.
‘I just want to open my heart and my mind to new possibilities,’ she told us as we loaded our bags into her boot. ‘My ex was always so happy to stagnate and hated anything outside of his comfort zone. I’m ready for new things now.’
Noah had arrived and was rigging up a separate camera in the front of Elizabeth’s car. He said that he would sit in the back but wanted to get two different angles.
‘I don’t mind at all,’ Elizabeth said when he suggested it. ‘Like I said, opening myself up to new possibilities. So, does that mean I’ll be on the TV?’
‘Yes, they’ll be a snippet of you chatting with the other two. Maybe you can ask them a leading question and get them to open up about something. It would be great to prise out a secret ambition or a clandestine love affair.’
‘Goodness,’ I said. ‘I imagine you’ll be in for a big disappointment.’
Cally lingered with Noah for a moment before she climbed into her producer car.
They had their heads bent close together and I wondered if I was being paranoid or whether they really were talking about me.
They must have an agenda; an angle they wanted from me and Erin.
They knew about Clare because I’d told them.
At some point I expected them to tug on the heartstrings of the viewers and have me talk about losing her.
And I would. What I didn’t want to talk about in any candid way was Harrison Golding.
When we were all loaded in, I checked my watch and could see it was a little after five. I felt really twitchy about that bus and mentioned it tentatively to Elizabeth. I wanted her to know I was grateful but that we were also desperate.
‘I get it,’ she said. ‘It’s a race.’
And the speed in which she exited the motel car park, leaving a cloud of dust in her wake, left me in no doubt she was fully on board.
The sun rose about half an hour into our journey and something about watching the sky change from a dark inky black to a pretty pink and gold morning light made me think that Erin and I would manage to catch the bus from Kitwanga.
In the months since Clare had died, I’d found there was positivity to be discovered in elements of nature.
A willingness to carry on living in a warm summer breeze, the ability to bear a sudden memory in the chill of a late-autumn morning, the overwhelming and also overriding wish to see Erin happy in an unexpected flurry of winter snow.
I gazed out of the window as the country sped past us and took a breath because despite the positivity I encouraged myself to embrace, there was always and would always be that deep pain in my core at the loss of my daughter.
And then, Elizabeth had to slow down as out of the woods, on the side of the road, lumbered a huge brown bear.
Erin shrieked and then apologised, but I noticed she slid the bear spray out of her backpack and Elizabeth laughed.
‘That’s my first bear up here in Canada,’ she said.
‘Ours too,’ I said. ‘Wow, what a beautiful animal.’
Noah quietly filmed it from behind me on the back seat out of the window. His dashboard camera was positioned so it just caught me, Elizabeth and Erin but he was hidden. I guessed he’d just edit out any of him that appeared in shot.
The bear hung around for a while before it disappeared back into the trees and Elizabeth put her foot down again.
The road was wide and with her seemingly happy to break the speed limit, we covered many miles in the first few hours.
Gone were the mountains and we were in wide open country with not much more than grassy hills and roadside lakes we caught glimpses of through the trees.
There would be nothing for miles and then a small town with gas stations and restaurants.
We stopped for coffee, to stretch our legs and to use the loo, but agreed not to stop for food until we got to Prince George which was five hours from Cache Creek and another five or so from Kitwanga.
Any stopping made me nervous but we could hardly expect Elizabeth to drive for ten hours without a break and quite honestly, I was very glad to get out of the car.
We had breakfast in a roadside diner and then turned onto Highway 16 towards Kitwanga. Elizabeth was amazing and didn’t seem bothered that we rushed our food and encouraged her to do the same.
‘I’ll be taking your details so we can thank you properly when we’re not in the race,’ I said. ‘I can’t tell you how grateful we are.’
‘I just hope you win,’ she said, ‘and I’m really happy to be a small part of it. Now let’s get on. That bus is not leaving without you.’
The scenery became more mountainous again as we got nearer to Kitwanga. I had the map open on my lap and traced our progress as we passed each mountain. I could see our destination – a bus pickup point outside Kitwanga itself – and kept half an eye on the time and the other half on the map.
Elizabeth said she would stay the night here before heading north to Whitehorse in the morning.
‘I love driving,’ she said, ‘but ten hours in a day is probably my limit.’
She dropped us at the stop and insisted on waiting to make sure we got on the bus. After a big hug goodbye when the bus arrived and an exchange of email addresses, we loaded our bags on board, paid for our tickets and settled back in our seats with Noah across the aisle from us.
‘This is only day two of many,’ Erin said as she yawned into her hand. ‘How on earth are we going to get all the way across the country?’
I glanced at Noah but he was looking out of the window and his camera was in his lap.
‘We can sleep overnight on the ferry and when we get to the first checkpoint on Haida Gwaii, we can have a proper rest at the hotel. Keep the faith,’ I said and then yawned myself.
Noah grinned, but I was fully aware that he was on the same journey as us so he’d have to be pretty tired too.
Cally had explained we’d be put up in a hotel at each checkpoint at their expense.
We could have our laundry done, eat as much as we wanted and there would most likely be a group activity of some kind or another.
Mostly I was just looking forward to sleeping until it was time to leave again.
All of that was sounding very tempting after being on the road for two days. But we weren’t there yet.
I nodded off on the journey to Prince Rupert and it was Erin nudging me awake that roused me.
Noah was filming and I could only imagine a moment of me dribbling in my sleep being flashed up on the first episode.
I shuddered at the thought of Harrison seeing it and then remembered that I might be seeing him at the port.
Anyone not there on time for the ferry might be out of the race.
Surely it would be impossible to catch up if you were days behind.
We checked in at the ferry terminal and there was a moment when I wondered if Carol and Jack were actually chancers who had taken our cash and not booked the tickets at all, but we were there on the list and the woman behind the counter printed us off two tickets and handed them to me.
And then I felt bad for thinking it. They were decent people doing us a favour.
It was as I turned to hand Erin her ticket that I noticed Femi and Liz chatting to Priya and her daughter, Tara.
So, at least three of us teams were still in with a chance.
‘How’s it going?’ I asked them.
‘Couldn’t possibly tell you,’ Femi said, tapping the side of his nose.
Now there were three teams together, there were three producers and three camera operators too.
‘It’s a breeze,’ Tara said, and her mother laughed.
‘Yeah,’ she said sarcastically. ‘A walk in the park.’
‘If the park is thousands of kilometres wide with problematic public transport and wild animals,’ Liz said and shuddered.
Before I had a chance to respond to Liz’s honesty, a car pulled up and Harrison and Sam stepped out looking fresh and uncrumpled as if they’d only just joined the race.
They shook hands with the driver – a man in his twenties by the look of him – and began to walk towards us all like a couple of film stars.
I couldn’t help myself and ran a hand through my hair before he saw me.
I hadn’t bothered with my appearance over the last couple of days and could now feel how tight the skin on my face was.
My hair definitely wasn’t its usual bright self and probably had some of my hastily eaten breakfast stuck in it.
At the thought of food my stomach let go of a low growl.
‘I’m going to the loo,’ Erin said and disappeared quickly before the two men reached us. She was holding the grudge on my behalf as well, it seemed.
‘Hello, fellow contestants,’ Harrison said with a beaming smile and I was sure I saw Priya melt a little. I’d have to send a word of warning in her direction. ‘We all made it then?’
‘We still need Don and Pete,’ I said frostily, and he looked straight at me.
‘I don’t hold out a lot of hope. The last time we saw them, they were struggling to find a way out of Stanley Park,’ Harrison said.
His camera operator was lapping up our interaction, as was Noah, but to be fair to Harrison, he didn’t actually sound gleeful, he was looking out of the window and glancing at his watch in a way that suggested he hoped to see them soon.
To be fair to Harrison! That would be the one and only time I would be, that was for sure.
And then the two brothers came hurrying towards the ferry terminal, their backpacks bouncing as they went.
Harrison leaned towards his great-nephew and said something into his ear.
Whatever it was they both nodded meaningfully and I found myself desperate to know what they were discussing.
Then I had a quiet word with myself. I had to let it go, otherwise it could easily compromise my own race.
I watched as Erin walked tentatively back across to the group and that cemented my feelings completely.
I owed it to her that we had a good competition.
I couldn’t allow this resentment to get in the way.
Erin shouldn’t see me like that. I’d always tried to come across as fair, to give everyone a decent chance and not to judge without knowledge.
Harrison was my sticking point, though, and I would have to find a way to lose these resentful feelings.
What was it I quoted to Erin that evening in my flat about believing someone the first time they show you who they are?
The trouble with that was the first time Harrison showed me who he was, he was charming, beautiful and sincere.