Chapter 19
MARTHA
Tara’s info about the snow had been spot on. Erin had suggested we dig out all of our warmer wear, so we were fully prepared when we stepped down from the train in Churchill. We were greeted by a thick layer of white that covered the entirety of the landscape.
The tracker beeped and I took a breath before reading the screen. Every part of my body felt stiff and useless but I knew that I was going to have to try and run.
Head straight down Selkirk Street to the Itsanitaq museum
‘Right,’ I said as I looked wildly about. ‘I have no idea which is the right way to go.’
Of course, I’d never been to Churchill before but it felt so disorientating because of the snow covering everything. You couldn’t tell road from pavement and the couple of cars parked outside the station didn’t look as if they were going anywhere.
Erin was rummaging frantically in her rucksack. ‘Where is it,’ she said. ‘I had a map in a leaflet. I think I’ve left it on the train.’
‘Where did you get that?’ I asked her, wondering if it was against the rules.
‘Doesn’t matter now, I can’t find it. Nana, we have to run!’ she said, taking off away from the railway station.
I followed as quickly as I could, slipping on the snow, not daring to look over my shoulder to see if anyone was following us. It was all a bit pointless anyway. We’d all arrived on the same train. There would only be a few minutes between us at most.
Erin’s initial sprint quickly turned to a jog and then to a fast walk, so I soon caught her up as we made our way into the town of Churchill.
It was a place that felt sparse despite the houses that lined the street.
We’d seen a lot of vegetation across Canada but here, apart from a few small firs, there wasn’t any, although it was a little hard to tell with the current weather conditions.
And then, when we reached the end of the street, I could see Hudson Bay but there wasn’t any water.
‘The sea is ice,’ I stated. ‘Actual ice. In May.’
‘Well, that’s the Arctic for you,’ Erin said.
We traversed the streets looking for the museum and then saw Priya and Tara rushing in the opposite direction from us. Priya had what looked like a map in her hand.
‘I think that explains where your leaflet went,’ I said, and Erin looked appalled.
‘I shared a bit of information with Tara. I didn’t expect her to steal it from me.’
We then did what any self-respecting person would do – we followed them.
Next to a church that looked as if it were made of timber was the museum, and we were up the steps and through the door in moments.
The first thing we were faced with was a giant polar bear, a huge wolf and a large walrus, not to mention the horned bison-looking thing which was quite alarming, but they were all stuffed and in glass cabinets.
The rest of the room was full of interesting-looking artefacts but more importantly, there was a man standing behind a glass-topped desk with a book in front of him.
Priya and Tara were signing their names and their crew were catching their win.
We hung back to wait our turn. Tara gave Erin an apologetic smile as they walked past us and back out of the building.
‘Let it go for now,’ I whispered to Erin, my hand on her arm. ‘The camera.’
‘Hello,’ the man behind the desk said as we stepped up. ‘Welcome to Churchill.’
Erin turned the page and we both signed it, then I dropped my bag to the floor and sagged against the desk. I was exhausted, a bit grubby and a lot hungry, but we were here, and if my calculations were correct, we wouldn’t be leaving until the next train going back south the day after tomorrow.
‘We are delighted to be here,’ I said to the man whose name badge said ‘Mika’. ‘Thank you.’
The door opened as we were getting ready to leave and Harrison and Femi piled in with their partners to get their names in the book.
Harrison smiled at me and without really thinking about it I smiled back.
Maybe it was time to bury the bad feeling.
Or perhaps I was just feeling generous at getting my name in the book before his, again.
Our accommodation was a series of chalet-style bungalows this time. Very different from our hotel in Banff but somehow more cosy. The kitchenette was stocked with all good things to eat for breakfast and lunch, and we’d been invited out to a restaurant for a meal together this evening.
‘We’ve officially made it halfway through the race now,’ I said to Erin as I sank down onto the sofa. ‘How are you feeling about it?’
‘I’m feeling like knocking on Tara’s door and giving her a slap.’
‘Did she actually take the leaflet from you or did you leave it on the table?’
‘I might have left it but that’s not the point. She knew it was mine.’
‘What would you have done in the same situation?’ I asked her.
‘I would have bloody looked at it, memorised it, taken a photo of it even and then given it back.’
‘Yeah, I’d have done the same,’ I said.
‘I like Tara but I’m disappointed in her.’
‘Can you take comfort in having beaten Sam again?’ I asked, and Erin smiled.
‘A bit.’
‘Look, it really doesn’t matter now. This leg, like the first, has us all on the same boat and train.
It’s not about who comes first yet, it’s all about how much money we’re spending to do it.
Later in the race there may well be more options to branch out but right now it’s all about the cash.
And we should just enjoy this free time. ’
‘I do feel pretty good, really,’ Erin said. ‘I’ve surprised myself with how well I’ve done considering I usually don’t do anything like this.’
‘Neither do I, these days,’ I said. ‘And I can feel it in every bone in my body.’
‘I’m going to hit the shower,’ Erin said and when she went into the bathroom I took the money from the belt and counted it out onto the bed.
We had used over half the funds and we still had the return train journey to consider.
I looked at the map, at what lay between us and the end.
Certainly a lot of road and possibly rail.
I hoped that we’d be heading into cities that would offer better transport than we’d seen so far.
But then cities usually were expensive places to sleep.
Maybe we could get some night buses. As I considered this, I recalled the rattling hours on end we’d just endured in seats on the train.
There would obviously be a ferry over to Newfoundland at the end but before I could even think about that, there was the huge expanse of Ontario to navigate. Where on earth would we be going next?
Erin was singing in the shower. It made me smile as I remembered very clearly how her mother would do the same when she was a teenager.
Clare had been a happy child, a spirited teen and a smart and driven adult.
To think that this special person couldn’t realise the next stage of her life ate away at me.
Perhaps she would have been a caring and loving old woman, maybe she’d have been a crotchety old bag.
No one would ever know. I focused my thoughts on Erin.
She was what mattered now and I was so proud of her for her part in this race.
I was glad she could see how well she was doing.
The water turned off and the singing ceased.
I pushed the money back into the belt. I didn’t want Erin worrying about our finances.
And then I realised I was being stupid. She had proved herself competent and I was beginning to think it was a bit of a mistake not having her be a bit more involved with the money and the decision-making.
On the next leg of the journey, I would give her the tracker and the money belt and let her take the lead.
It would do her good to get out of her comfort zone.
The restaurant was a rustic but cosy place called The Lazy Bear Café.
Erin and I had our big coats on and hats too.
That race to the museum earlier had warmed us up but now in the early evening it was very cold and our breath came out in icy puffs into the air as we walked along the street, our boots crunching on the snow.
Priya and Tara were just walking through the door when Erin and I arrived but Tara hung back.
‘Erin,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m so sorry but please don’t think I took the map from you. You left it on the table and I was going to return it to you. Then I couldn’t find it and the next time I saw it, Mum had it when we got off the train. She didn’t know it was yours, truly.’
‘Truly,’ I repeated but Tara did sound sincere.
‘Don’t worry now, it’s done,’ Erin said kindly. Gone was the wish to slap this woman it seemed. ‘Let’s have a nice meal and forget about it.’
One thing was left unsaid in the doorway to the restaurant and I was sure both Erin and I thought the same.
It’s not you, Tara. It’s Priya we don’t trust.
We had steaks and salads and I ordered wine to celebrate the halfway point. There was a friendly atmosphere among us all and as the booze flowed a little, people started sharing some of the highs and lows of their journeys so far.
Femi and Liz described how they’d left their backpacks in the boot of a lift share and ended up chasing the car down the street and shouting at the driver.
Priya talked about how much energy this race was giving her but Tara admitted to how tired she was and I guessed that only one of them was lying.
I almost agreed with Tara that I was tired as well, but I saw that Harrison was watching me and I just didn’t want to sound like an old woman in front of him, especially after what Priya had said.
Instead, I told them of how Erin and I had shovelled a lot of pig shit in favour of a free bed and a free ride, about how beautiful I thought Canada was and what a shame to be travelling through it at such a speed when there was so much to savour.
Harrison agreed with me and said he’d consider coming back at some point and spending more time in the Rockies. Then he talked about his and Sam’s despair at being stuck at the side of the road outside Edmonton while we were all motoring ahead.
‘I honestly thought that was our race over,’ he said and I could tell by the look on his face that he meant it.
I could see how easy it would be to be drawn back into Harrison’s sphere.
He radiated some sort of aura that I remembered from all those years ago.
It was exactly the same and it was unnerving.
The next day we were rounded up and taken to the outskirts of the town where our guide explained how we were going to travel by snowmobile further round the coast and then out onto the sea in a dingy.
The snowmobile was something I had never done and I was hugely excited about the prospect.
Erin began to object until I reminded her she’d managed a motorbike all right.
Our tour guide was a lot of fun. She was a woman called Winona and had us all suited and booted appropriately for the conditions.
The conditions were actually beautiful. There was a crispness in the air but not a cloud in the sky.
The sun helped to have us all acting in high spirits and we set off in convoy across the snowy landscape.
Once we were off the snowmobiles, we spent a few hours out on the ice flows learning about the wildlife that lived in the cold Arctic Ocean.
About the polar bears that used the ice as a hunting ground and the seals that were their target.
Winona reminded us that she was there to keep us and the polar bears safe.
I wondered which of us she’d choose if push came to shove.
I also thought about the unused bear spray in Erin’s backpack and if it would work on our white, furry friends.
Then we stopped at a huge slab of ice where we were encouraged to get out and see what it felt like to be standing on the Arctic Ocean.
It felt wonderful, I decided, and had to make a huge effort to push Clare to the back of my mind in favour of seeing the pleasure on Erin’s face as she and Liz posed for photos.
We had one last group shot and then it was time to head back.
The sun was setting when we returned to town and a few of us walked down to watch it disappear where the sky met the ice.
‘This is special,’ Harrison said, and I hadn’t realised he was standing so close to me.
For a mad moment I wanted to reach out my hand and take his.
I wanted to share this moment with him. Of course, I didn’t, but Femi and Liz were holding hands and I suddenly ached for an intimacy I hadn’t had in years.
I always told myself after Mike left me that I didn’t need that any more.
He moved on and met a woman with grown-up children.
He now has step-grandchildren, not that they see him as anything other than Granddad.
Erin still sees him sometimes but he lives just a bit too far away to make it easy.
Erin isn’t that close to her own dad either and that’s why I want to keep her as near to me as possible.
‘This is a once in a lifetime experience,’ I said, and before I even realised he’d done it, Harrison had slid his arm around behind my neck and gently squeezed my shoulder.
Just once and just quickly and then his hand, his arm, in fact all of him were gone and I turned to see him striding back towards the chalets.