12. Kate
Kate was kind of regretting taking an entire month off work to prepare for the pregnancy. It had given her way too much time to think, which resulted in a more stressed brain than if she had just stayed in the emergency room.
Okay. Maybe that was a slight exaggeration. Working in an emergency room could get pretty stressful. But it was a stress she was used to. This emotional version was unfamiliar. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d spent so much energy thinking about a guy.
Damn Elias.
She hadn’t been able to forget their last encounter, not to mention the one before that. The guy snuck into her brain way too often. Like the other day, she’d been sorting out her wardrobe and had accidentally come across the bracelet he’d given her. Even having her fingers momentarily brush against the silver brought up a larger-than-life image in her brain of the moment he put it on her wrist. And then that flowed into the memory of their kiss, their night together, and the aftermath.
Ugh. She was doing it again!
Today she had a medical appointment to undergo the first stage of the IVF process, which involved inducing ovulation. She would be given either oral medication or discuss whether an injection would be more suitable. As the latter more often resulted in multiple pregnancies, Kate was willing to try the oral medication first.
Although, as she strapped herself into her car, she wondered if she’d be able to keep the oral medication down. She’d been feeling a bit off the last couple of days, and she wondered if she’d either eaten something bad or was coming down with the flu. She’d have to mention it to her doctor today.
As she drove to the clinic, she played an episode of her favourite brain science podcast. She couldn’t think about Elias anymore.
Thankfully, Dr Coppola was back, and Kate was relieved she didn’t have to see the misogynist who had taken her place last time.
‘How are you feeling?’ Dr Coppola asked.
‘Pretty good. I took a month off to prepare my body, so it’s in the best possible shape for the baby. Although, I am a little unwell today. Would having a mild case of the flu affect the medication?’
‘It should be fine. Although, if you’re concerned, we could wait another few days until you’re feeling better?’
‘No, it’s okay. It’s not like I’m actually throwing up. Just slightly nauseous.’
‘Okay, then we’ll get started. First, just as a routine procedure, I’ll get you to do a pregnancy test.’ She handed Kate a small specimen jar and pointed to the door. ‘The bathroom is out there to your right.’
Kate chuckled. ‘I guess I should start getting used to this. But hopefully it will be the only time it comes back negative.’
Dr Coppola laughed too. ‘Hopefully.’
Kate headed for the bathroom and filled the jar. She still found it weird to be on the other side of medicine as a patient, but at least she was here for a happy reason.
She didn’t want to admit it, but she’d had one or two moments over the past few weeks—not related to Elias—where she’d wondered if she was doing the right thing. She been considering having a child for almost two years, so it wasn’t a decision she’d come to lightly. Still, there was a little uncertainty. But that was natural, right? It was probably the same with any big commitment, like when a bride or groom gets cold feet right before their wedding. It was normal to question your choices.
Today, Kate was ninety-nine percent sure she wanted to go through with the IVF.
She returned to the consultation room and handed Dr Coppola the jar.
The doctor pulled a strip from a packet and dipped it in the sample.
‘It’ll just take a few minutes to process. So, are you going back to work soon?’
‘Yes, next week. And once I’m officially pregnant, I’ll talk to my supervisor about a reduced workload. He’s pretty understanding, fortunately.’
‘Good. And I know we’ve already discussed this, but do you still have your support network lined up?’
‘I do. My parents are willing to help out occasionally, as is my sister. Although, she has four kids, so she probably won’t have a lot of time to spare. But at least I’ll have someone nearby who has dealt with every child-related issue you could imagine.’
Dr Coppola smiled. ‘That’s true.’ She glanced at the strip. And then held it closer to her face. ‘Have you been sexually active recently?’
Kate was caught off guard. ‘Why?’
Dr Coppola showed her the strip. ‘Because this test is positive.’
Kate’s heart stopped. ‘What?’
‘It could be a false positive. We can do another test or send you to the pathology lab to be sure…’
‘Do another test,’ Kate said automatically.
‘Okay.’ The doctor opened another strip and dipped it in. ‘So, you haven’t been sexually active?’
Kate didn’t say anything. Her brain was having a hard time processing thoughts that could be turned into words.
The night with Elias replayed in her brain.
There had definitely been a condom involved. She used to be on the pill too, but she’d stopped taking it before that evening.
‘There was one night…’ she started.
‘It just takes the one time,’ Dr Coppola pointed out.
‘I know. But we used protection…’
‘Which isn’t one hundred percent effective.’
‘Yes, but…’ She had no real response to that. She couldn’t already be pregnant, could she?
And then she remembered how she’d been feeling unwell.
No.
Nausea?
Had she experienced any weird food cravings? Did that happen at this stage?
‘I can’t be pregnant,’ she said robotically.
Dr Coppola held up the second strip. ‘It looks like you might be.’
The blue line was clearly visible.
‘Oh my God.’
‘We’ll send you for a blood test to be completely sure, but I think you should probably start preparing for the fact you are pregnant. I’m assuming by your reaction, the father isn’t the same person as the donor you lined up?’
Kate shook her head.
‘I can recommend a counsellor if you need to talk to someone? It must be very confusing finding yourself in this situation. A counsellor will help you sort through your emotions and give you the tools to make a decision on the next steps.’
Kate nodded. She probably wouldn’t use it, but it seemed like the right thing to do.
‘Let me just find her number…’ Dr Coppola shuffled around in her desk drawer and removed a business card. ‘She usually sets aside a couple of spaces each week for emergency appointments, so you won’t have to wait.’
Kate took the card and shoved it into her handbag.
She didn’t know what to say or do.
An overwhelming sense of fear had enveloped her.
Not because she was pregnant.
But because the father was Elias.