25. Elias
This was a bad idea… but as bad ideas went, it was a pretty good one.
Sharing a bed with Kate was… he exhaled roughly. It was everything, but it also couldn’t be anything. She’d drawn a line in the sand, and he would stay behind it.
‘What?’ she whispered.
‘Not tired,’ he whispered back in the dark.
She sighed. ‘Neither.’
They both rolled over so they were looking at the ceiling. Their fingers were still entwined. He wasn’t going to break the connection unless she did first.
‘Feel like watching a movie?’
‘I don’t want to get out of bed,’ she replied.
‘We don’t need to.’
He located the remote and pressed a button. A large screen television slowly rose from the foot of the bed.
‘Ooh. Fancy,’ she murmured with a giggle.
‘What do you feel like watching?’
‘Hmm, anything, except something with too much blood, or gore, or you know horror, or people yelling at each other when they could just use their normal voices.’
He raised an eyebrow at her, even though he knew she couldn’t see it in the dark.
‘Right, so no gore, or blood or action movies of any kind. And definitely not any of the Bad Boys franchise.’
She turned to him. ‘How did you know?’
‘Believe it or not, the constant yelling in that movie annoys me too.’
She sniggered softly.
‘So that leaves us with campy detective movies or romantic comedies.’
‘Ooh. A campy detective movie would be good.’
‘Have you seen Knives Out?’
‘No. Is it good.’
He shrugged. ‘It’s okay.’
‘That’s a glowing recommendation.’
‘I suppose I just didn’t get all the hype about it.’
‘Hmm. I think we’re going to have to watch it so I can make my own decision. Unless you don’t want to rewatch it?’
‘I’m fine with a rewatch. The idea is to put us to sleep, right?’
‘Right.’
They shuffled up on the bed to lean against the bedhead, and Elias searched for the movie. They settled in to watch, and it wasn’t long before Kate was nodding off. He guided her head to his shoulder, and she snuggled against him. He wasn’t paying attention to what was happening on the screen; he was too focused on all the places their bodies met. Not that he was going to do anything except enjoy the completely platonic physical touch.
When his own eyelids began to droop, he turned off the television and shuffled them both down into the bed. Kate rolled over, burrowing into his chest and throwing a leg over his waist. He smiled but didn’t move her. If she wanted to use him as a body pillow, he didn’t have any objections.
Elias closed his eyes and let his body relax into the mattress. He could get used to this. He shouldn’t. Kate had made it clear she was not up for anything more than friends. But that didn’t stop him from wishing for something else. He couldn’t actually remember a time when he’d really wanted anything as much as he wanted this. It wasn’t even the sex—okay, he definitely wanted the sex, because sex with Kate was kind of phenomenal—it was this quiet companionship that had been growing between them. He was comfortable around Kate. More comfortable than he was around anyone else except his core family—and by family he meant found family, not actual family (although technically, Levi was actual family). Whatever. He just knew that this kind of connection with someone didn’t happen often for him, and when he found someone he clicked with, he wanted to keep them close. If that meant putting his thoughts of sex with her in a box and throwing away the key, then that’s what he would do. He would do anything to protect the little family they were growing. It might not be conventional, but that didn’t matter. What was so great about the ‘socially acceptable nuclear family’ anyway? It had never done him any favours.
* * *
Elias wokefeeling like someone had wrapped him in an electric blanket on high.
He opened his eyes to discover he wasn’t far wrong.
Kate.
It was Kate who was wrapped around him. She had one leg still over his waist with her foot curled around his thigh, and her arm was stretched across his chest, her fingers gripping his bicep on the opposite side. Her face was pressed into the crook of his shoulder, and he could feel her soft breath on his neck. She clung to him like an anaconda, and he wasn’t mad about it.
He thought he got hot at night, but Kate was practically a heater all on her own. Was it the pregnancy, or did she just normally run hot when she slept? He couldn’t remember feeling like that the night they’d slept together, but then, Kate hadn’t stayed long enough for him to really know.
Despite the heat, he wasn’t going to move her. First, he didn’t want to wake her, and second… well, second was for completely selfish reasons. He just didn’t want to sever the connection between them. What was a little sweat and dehydration between friends?
Being careful not to disturb her, he reached for the remote on the bedside and cranked up the air conditioner. She had to be feeling the heat too, so a little cool air would do them both some good.
Kate sighed in her sleep, and Elias quickly shut his eyes in case she woke to find him staring at her. That would be weird. But she didn’t wake. She just resettled herself and clung tighter to him.
Elias grinned.
Kate might not think she wanted him, but maybe her body thought differently.
That didn’t mean it was a green light. He knew that. But it did go a long way to healing his bruised ego from her rejection.
She rubbed her face against his neck, and he stilled, hoping she would think him still asleep. He knew she would be embarrassed when she woke up, especially if she was still wrapped around him like that, so he would pretend he didn’t know. Unfortunately, he couldn’t do anything about his morning wood, which had been exacerbated by her closeness. He would just have to ignore that as well and hope she did the same.
Kate groaned softly and took a deep breath. Was she sniffing him? He didn’t mind. Hell, she could do whatever she liked to him, and he wouldn’t mind in the slightest.
He started counting sheep. No, he wasn’t trying to go back to sleep, but he had to do something to stymie the growing lust he felt as she moved against him.
The sheep weren’t helping, so he switched to complex math equations. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t solve for x when she was writhing against him.
Fuck.
Just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, she stilled and sucked in a breath. He kept his eyes resolutely closed and let his body become lax. It took her a bit, but he knew the exact moment she realised just how intimately they were entwined.
He waited her out. What would she do? If she climbed on top of him and said everything they talked about yesterday was crap, and actually, she wanted him, and couldn’t they maybe have a friends with benefits arrangement, he would weep with gratitude.
Unfortunately, that’s not what she did.
Moving glacially, she unwrapped herself from his body. He remained in faux sleep, not even letting his muscles twitch. It took more effort and willpower than he knew he possessed when she slid her leg off him. The drag of her naked thigh across his bare belly was exquisite torture.
Moving silently, she rolled away from him and off the bed. He heard the toilet door close, and he breathed out a frustrated breath. He rolled over, his back toward where she had escaped to, and continued with his fake sleep.
The toilet flushed, and she washed her hands in the bathroom. He remained on his side, partly so he could hide the aforementioned morning growth, and partly because he was hiding. Like a coward.
Was she watching him? He couldn’t be sure. It sounded like she’d walked back into the bedroom, but then just stood there. Had she tiptoed out to the living room? Was it safe for him to wake up?
Ugh. Now this was awkward. Had he made it more awkward by pretending to be asleep?
A gagging sound made him sit up. Kate was rushing for the toilet again, her hand clamped over her mouth. He didn’t think twice and followed her, easing her down, holding her hair back, and rubbing soothing circles on her back again.
How the hell was she going to manage this every day on her own? Was she going to wake up like this every day and then just… go to work? How was it possible? He knew Kate wouldn’t agree, but in his opinion, she needed help. Of course, his opinion didn’t really mean much. Still… there had to be a way for him to be there for her.
‘I’m okay,’ she said, spitting into the bowl and then reaching up to flush. ‘I’m okay.’
‘Of course you are,’ he said gently.
‘What a way to wake up, huh?’
He knew she was trying to make a joke, but for him the way he had woken up had made it the best damned morning of his life, and this little interlude did not detract from it in the least.