Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Easton
Tanner is playing on his activity mat, and I’m sitting next to him with my legs extended, staring at the calendar on my phone.
Away. Home. Away.
Seven days gone. Five days here. Nine days gone. Three days here.
The schedule used to get me excited. It used to get my blood pumping to play again. Now, all I can think about is how the hell am I ever going to make this work if he’s mine and his mother never comes back?
I stare at him and can’t fight the smile on my face when I see a little bubble form out of his mouth.
We’ve gotten into a routine, although it’s taken a lot of help from my friends showing me what to do.
Thankfully, I did babysit a lot of my cousins throughout the years, so I know my way around a baby at least a little.
Not as well as I know my way around a baseball field, but he’s fed, changed, and looks happy staring at himself in that little mirror hanging above him.
Another sign that he really is mine.
Which only makes waiting on the paternity test results worse.
Every day I examine his features and his mannerisms—which is a tad crazy, since he’s, like, six months old. Any day now I should receive the results that will determine if he really is mine or whether whoever left him for me was lying and has an ulterior motive.
My phone dings with a text from my mom, and I half expect it to be her telling me she’s outside the security gate of the building.
But instead, it’s the picture of Tanner I sent her alongside one of my baby pictures.
Not sure you need that paternity test.
She’s right. We look like twins, and it’s more than just the hair color. It’s the nose and the mouth and the deeper set of his eyes.
Did he get anything from his mother?
Hell if I know. I don’t even know her name.
I’ll let you know when the results come in.
Dad said we could come down…
Do I want my mom to come to Chicago? Fuck yeah.
I want her to hug me and give those encouraging lectures about how strong I am.
The ones I pretended not to need when I was in high school and in a slump.
Or when colleges weren’t giving me the looks my sophomore year.
Or the time when I lost out on the girl.
Right now I feel like I need her here in order to believe in myself.
But I also want to prove to her and my dad that I can handle this. Fuck, I’m thirty-three years old. I should be able to manage my own shit.
In all honesty, I’m surprised they didn’t rush down here when I finally called them last night to let them in on what was going on before something got leaked and they were the last to know they might have another grandchild.
I’m good. He might not even be mine.
As I type the words, I grow nauseated. What will happen to this little guy if he’s not mine? Where will he go?
Jeez, I did the at-home paternity test so that we don’t have to involve too many people, but I never thought about what happens to Tanner if I’m not his dad.
Someone else will come and take him, but who? And where will he end up?
Send me a video.
Of him or your favorite?
Him. I love you, East, but I can Google you to see your smiling face.
Nice.
Video of my grandchild, please.
Another text comes in but from my dad this time.
Send your mom a video, or she’s showing up on your doorstep.
I sigh and take a video of Tanner. As if he knows I’m videotaping him, he flails his arms and kicks his legs as he smiles, and that bubble gets bigger.
I click Send to both my parents on the same thread, not wanting to field separate texts.
I place my hand on Tanner’s stomach. “You like to show off, huh?”
His hazel eyes meet mine.
“Don’t ever let anyone tell you that’s a bad thing.”
My phone dings, and I’m sure it’s my mom asking for more now that I sent her one. I should really just prepare the second bedroom for her visit.
I pick up Tanner since it’s time for him to eat, and I put him in the high chair that took me an hour to put together. Eventually I had to ask Callie to come down and help me. Talk about stripping me of my man card.
I’m never living that down.
He gets all excited like he does every time I put him in the chair. The kid loves to eat.
Me too, buddy.
I make his oatmeal and grab a baby food jar.
I sit down, and he’s flailing his arms and legs just like on the mat, making sounds as though he couldn’t be more excited.
“It’s coming.”
I spoon some oatmeal and put it in front of him, but his hand flings, and the spoonful splashes across the room.
“Okay, let’s try this again.”
I spoon more food and lightly keep his hand down. He accepts the food, but then his bottom lip trembles and his eyes water.
“No, buddy.”
I attempt to stop any tears, but that’s another thing I never realized. How much babies cry. I’m not built to hear anyone cry, least of all a baby who might be… well, most likely is my son.
Somehow, I manage to get him as fed as I can, but he’ll need a bottle.
A text comes in on the team thread about practice tomorrow and going out after.
I have no babysitting set up or even know who to ask besides my teammates’ wives or girlfriends. And they have their own babies to care for.
Tanner has gone from extremely happy to sour after eating.
I rock him.
I walk him.
I toss him in the air.
None of my tricks work, and I’m slowly going insane trapped in this apartment with an unhappy baby.
I’ve tried to be the good adult, staying in my condo all day, letting my friends spend their time together before the season starts, but Daddy needs a little break.
I pack him up and grab the diaper bag, then head down a level to Decker’s place.
After I knock, Decker opens the door, looking more annoyed than happy to see me.
“I cannot do this.” I walk into their condo.
Decker nods. “Yes, you can.”
I stop in the living room and put Tanner down in his carrier. “He won’t stop making that sound.”
“What sound?” Penelope asks, joining us from the kitchen.
“The—” I mimic his soft whimpering noise when I can’t calm him.
Hazel jumps off the couch and crouches next to the carrier, taking Tanner’s hand in hers. “I can hold him.”
“You’re seven,” I say.
Hazel looks offended. “I held Ellis when I was six.”
I look at Decker, and he shrugs.
I look at Penelope, and she shrugs.
Might as well give it a shot. What do I have to lose right now?
“Hazel, sit in the corner of the couch.” Penelope nods in the direction of the living area.
She scrambles up while I undo the buckles and lift Tanner.
Five minutes later, Hazel is on the couch with the baby in her arms. Sparkles, their dog, sits up and observes like she wants to get closer, but Decker keeps reminding her she can’t.
I grew up around dogs, and Sparkles looks like she licks more than bites, but we can’t take any chances because I might have to return Tanner, and he should leave in the same condition he showed up in, that’s all.
Tanner stares at Hazel, legs kicking, but doesn’t make a sound.
“Even she’s better at this than me.” I frown.
Penelope slides in closer and puts her arm around the back of the couch. “She’s good at everything.” She smiles at her daughter the way I’ve caught myself smiling at Tanner a few times.
I watch Hazel murmur to Tanner, telling him about her and Monroe’s phone conversation, and watch how intently Tanner listens to her.
Maybe everyone has the magic touch but me.
Decker hands me a water, and I take it without looking away from Hazel, Tanner, and Sparkles standing guard.
Then the aroma hits me, and I meet Penelope’s gaze. “Garlic butter chicken?”
“Do you want to stay?” She looks at Decker behind me.
“I’ve been surviving off Chinese takeout for five days. It’s not even a question.”
Penelope gives Tanner a little kiss on the forehead, but as she’s about to get up, Hazel says, “I’m done now.”
Whoa, whoa.
Red alarms go off in my head.
“I’ll pay you fifty dollars to sit there for ten more minutes.” I put my hands in the air as if I could stop her.
“Nope, I’m done.”
Hazel starts to get up, so Penelope quickly intercepts and holds Tanner. Hazel slides off the couch.
“I would’ve gotten you a stuffed animal from every city this year,” I try.
“That’s last year’s thing. Monroe and I are doing something different.” Hazel sounds bored now.
Penelope and Decker share a look of exhaustion.
“Which is?” Penelope asks.
“We’re not telling anyone yet.” She walks toward her room. “Duchess wants to join us for dinner. Garlic butter chicken is her favorite too.”
Penelope cradles Tanner in her arms, rocking side to side like a complete natural.
“Guys, I suck at this parenting thing.” I sit on the ottoman.
“Give it some time. Did you get the results of the paternity test?” Decker asks.
“Hopefully tomorrow, but I sent a picture to my mom, and she sent me my baby picture back.”
I pull out my phone and hold it up next to Tanner.
I see Penelope’s expression.
This little guy is mine.
“I expect an unplanned visit from her. It was all I could do to talk her out of taking the red-eye here last night.”
“Maybe that would be a good thing,” Penelope says.
“You don’t know my family. They’ll probably take him to Alaska during the season. This is a me thing, and I want to handle it.”
“Understandable,” Decker says.
We eat dinner—or rather, we and some princess stuffed animal of Hazel’s eat while Penelope feeds Tanner a bottle and burps him.
“Motherhood looks good on you,” I say, jealousy stacking inside me at how easy she makes it look.
Penelope and Decker share a look.
“He’s right,” Decker says.
At least if Tanner is mine, he’s going to have a playmate soon, because there’s going to be another Davis baby in this condo building soon. I just know it.
“I wouldn’t mind one or two more,” Penelope admits.
She and Decker are still staring at one another as if they’re both envisioning their future and a house full of kids.
That’s something I might never have.
Instead, I’ve got a kid I didn’t plan for and a new life I’m still trying to figure out.
Penelope’s eyes cut to me. “I’m not your nanny, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Come on. I pay really well.” I lift my eyebrows, hoping my flirtation will change her mind.
“Fifty dollars isn’t going to cut it.”
A knock sounds at the door, and we all turn toward it.
“Foster or Callie?” Penelope asks.
Decker gets up from the table and opens the door.
When I see who is in the doorway, all my anxiety dissipates. Of course it’s her. She’s here to take him back and answer all my questions. Co-parenting will be a much better situation.
Our gazes collide.
“Oh, good, you’re here.” Her shoulders lower a bit.
“Tanner, Mommy’s here!” I stand from the table, ready for my life to go back to normal. Or at least closer to normal.
I can’t believe I didn’t think of it.
Of course Tanner is hers.