Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Hadley
“So, what the hell, Had?” Honor asks once we’re seated with our coffee and pastries.
“No, first off, how is your grandma?” I ask. I had every intention of taking Tanner up to her so she wouldn’t have to leave the house, but she said she wanted to come to the city for something anyway.
“She’ll be in the hospital for at least a week.
Her friends are with her now, which helps.
” She puts another packet of sugar in her coffee and barely touches her scone.
“Not sure what I’d do without them, even if I have to worry about them driving to and from the hospital as well as every other driver on the road. ”
Her laugh is hollow, and she’s got bags under her eyes, and even though we’re embarking on summer, her skin looks pale. There’s a tiredness in her that goes beyond a few rough nights.
I touch her hand. “Are you okay? What can I do?”
She’s already shaking her head before I finish, tears welling in her eyes. “I’m good. It’s just been a rough few days.” She straightens in her seat, smoothing her expression back into something more like herself. “Now stop deflecting and give me every single detail.”
“I am not important right now.”
“Are you kidding me?” She sets down her coffee. “My free-spirit best friend who doesn’t do strings or commitments just married a professional baseball player and found herself in an instant family. That is extremely what’s important right now.”
I scour the area, but it’s mid-morning, and we’re tucked into a corner.
Tanner is back at The Story Jar strapped to Felix—his words, not mine—until I get back.
Easton said it was fine when I asked him this morning, and Felix practically snatched him from my arms, telling Tanner they were getting two new books today that they’d test out.
“Well, you know my timeline doesn’t start until I’m officially married.” I glance around once more—that is becoming a habit. I hate this whole looking over my shoulder now.
Honor stares at me. “Hadley. You are officially married.”
“Right.” I wave my hand. “I know that.”
“Do you?” She raises an eyebrow.
“It just feels weird to say out loud.”
“I’d imagine.” She finally takes a bite of her scone. “And don’t think I don’t know you were dodging my calls before you did it. You were afraid I’d talk some sense into you.”
I distract myself by stirring my straw through the iced coffee, watching the ice cubes spin.
“You’re dodging again right now,” Honor says.
“What do you want me to say?”
“How about how you see this panning out?”
I shrug.
Her hand falls on my wrist, and my gaze lifts. There’s only concern on her face, no judgment, and that’s the thing about Honor. She has never once made me feel stupid for a decision even when she thought it was crazy.
“Listen, I have always been Team Hadley’s crazy ideas. You know that. Hell, we both know I wish I could’ve been in the passenger seat with you half the time.” Something passes across her face that I can’t quite read. “But Had, he has a kid now.”
“I know.” I look at my coffee.
“Okay, but I’m serious.” She leans forward. “After a year, you’re just going to leave? Leave them both?”
These sound like Whit questions coming out of Honor’s mouth, and I didn’t come here prepared.
“We haven’t really talked about what happens after.” I pick at the edge of my bagel. “It’s still so new.”
“But you’ve thought about it.”
“Of course I’ve thought about it.”
She studies me, patiently waiting for me to answer or give her more information. It’s how she’s always gotten the truth out of me. She just waits until I can’t stand the quiet anymore.
“I mean it’s not like Easton wants to be married for real,” I say. “We’re doing each other a favor. That’s all it is.”
She doesn’t say anything. Just sips her coffee.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you think I’m lying.”
“Are you?”
The question sits between us, and I don’t answer it because honestly I’m not sure I know. I thought I knew when I walked in here. Now I’m less sure.
“The pictures are pretty convincing,” she says finally, her voice lighter.
“I haven’t been online.”
She shakes her head like I’ve said something genuinely bewildering. “Had. You guys are everywhere. There are people labeling you the new Colts family, and nobody thought Easton Bailey had it in him, and now they’re all obsessed. The fallout is going to be significant when this is over.”
I nod and swallow the dryness down my throat.
That is one thing I probably didn’t consider, the public being in the know when this all dies.
“How is the baby?” she asks. “Day to day. He’s doing okay with the transition?”
“He’s—” I pause, and I feel the smile forming before I can stop it.
“He’s really funny. He has this thing where he throws his hands in the air when he’s excited and his whole body vibrates.
And he loves books already, which Felix takes full credit for.
And he cries when Easton leaves the room but not in an annoying way, more like—” I stop.
“I don’t know. He just seems really attached to Easton already, like he knows he’s his dad. ”
Honor watches me, but I can’t read her expression.
“What?” I ask.
She shakes her head slowly. “Nothing. Just—from the pictures, you seem really taken with him.” She picks up her coffee. “Just wondering what happens if the mom shows up.” Her eyes remain steady on mine. “Where that puts you.”
I pull apart a piece of the croissant, having no intention of eating. “I don’t know, honestly. I try not to go there.”
She nods slowly. “And if she doesn’t show up? If this whole year goes by and it’s just the three of you?”
“Honor, what are you actually asking me?”
She pauses, and for a moment I think she’s going to say something significant. Her mouth opens slightly before she says, “I just… I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Then her phone lights up on the table between us. She glances at it and her whole body shifts. “Sorry, it’s the hospital.” She presses it to her ear. “Hello… this is she.”
Her face goes more pale as she continues to listen.
“Okay, I’ll be right there.” She hangs up and reaches for her bag. “I have to go, she’s really anxious and she’ll usually calm when I’m there.”
“Of course, go.” I stand with her.
I throw my arms around her and hug her. “Tell me what I can do?”
She pulls back and holds my face in both hands the way she has since we were teenagers.
When she wanted to tell me how awesome I was and not to be affected by Tyler Richards cheating on me, or when I stumbled over my essay while reading it to the English class.
“You’re the most kickass woman I know, but just be careful, okay?
With the baby. Make sure you know what you’re signing up for before you get too attached. ”
“I’m not getting attached.”
She gives me a look that says she doesn’t believe me for one second. Then she pushes through the door and out onto the street, her phone already back at her ear.
I sit back down and stare at the coffee I’ve barely touched.
Make sure you know what you’re signing up for before you get too attached.
I’m not getting attached.
I grab my coffee, throw away the last of my croissant, and head out of the café to go back to the bookstore. This is where Honor and I are different, though. After the year, I’ll be ready for a new adventure. I always am.
My phone buzzes as I push through the door. A message from Felix with a picture of Tanner asleep against his chest, both of them surrounded by open books.
I’m smiling before I even realize it.
Not attached at all.