Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Easton
After the plane rises off the runway at O’Hare and there’s no turning back, I’m heading to New York whether I want to or not, so I decide to use my time away constructively.
I nudge Decker in the seat next to me, and he puts down his book. “Do you remember when I went to Cabo for my cousin’s bachelor party?”
He rocks his head back and forth. “I think so.”
“We went out the night before, remember?”
The only reason I remember is the hangover on the plane the next day, and I threw up three times in the bathroom from turbulence.
“You really expect me to remember that?” Decker asks.
“I hooked up with a woman that night.” I tap the tip of my pen to the paper.
He leans in closer and looks at what I’ve been writing. “What are you doing?”
“It’s a list of possibilities of who Tanner’s mom could be.”
His eyebrows shoot up, and he nudges Hayes with his foot.
Hayes’s eyes pop open and he takes out his earbuds. “What?”
“Kodiak’s making a potential mom list.”
I give Decker a dirty look. “I wasn’t really being inclusive with this.”
Hayes elbows Foster, who pulls out his earbuds.
“What?” He looks between the three of us.
“Kodiak’s on a mission to find his baby’s mother.” Hayes leans forward. “You really think you have a chance to figure this out?”
“I don’t need your negativity. Go back to sleep.” I wave at him.
“Nah, I need more excitement in my life.” He rolls his eyes. “So who do you have as potential candidates?”
Foster snatches the list from my hand.
“Whoa, this isn’t fourth grade, and you’re taking the note I was writing to a girl.”
He only laughs, reads it over, and hands it back to me. “I don’t think redhead at the club before Cabo is much of a lead.”
“That’s what you have?” Hayes raises an eyebrow.
“Don’t worry, there’s also the girl from the Falcons game.”
Foster shares a look with Hayes. They both look judgy as fuck.
“You can’t judge me. It would be the same if you had to figure out who the mom of your kid was.”
“Leighton. Easy,” Hayes deadpans.
“And I know exactly when I got Callie pregnant,” Foster says.
Hayes groans at his comment but says nothing.
“I mean before Leighton and Callie came along.” I’m annoyed that I have to defend myself but equally embarrassed and ashamed because it is a tad disturbing that I can’t remember any names.
“Why do you want to find her?” Decker asks, always the more reasonable one.
Hayes shrugs. “You have Hadley.”
“For a year,” I whisper. “And I want Tanner to have a mom in his life.”
“Hadley could be his mom.” Foster gives me a look I take as a challenge.
What does he not understand? Hadley is not Tanner’s mom, nor does she want that role for longer than she’s required to assume it.
Hadley’s spirit would shrivel up and die if she had to stay in one place.
Sure, it’s fine now, she’s getting her bookstore out of the deal, but I doubt she’d ever want to be strapped down into a conventional life.
Not that I’m looking for anything more than what we have. That’s not us. So I don’t even know why we’re talking about her.
“I don’t want him to grow up without a mom.
” I can’t explain why it’s important to me, but it is.
If she really doesn’t want anything to do with him, I’ll move forward, but if she’s out there struggling or just needed a break or didn’t know how to approach me, that’s different.
“I feel like someone took every part of my life, tossed it in the air, and everything is all jumbled now.”
Foster stares at me while Decker and Hayes discuss how maybe it’s best if she’s not part of Tanner’s life since she left him the way she did.
Foster holds out his hand. “Let me see the list again.”
“Thanks.”
He reads it over. “You hooked up with someone in Cabo. Is there someone you can call? Someone who might have caught her name? Was she part of the wedding party?”
I nod. “I did, and I’m waiting.”
“That’s a start on that one. And you were with Deck at the club the night before?”
“Yeah. Finally someone takes a helping role with this.” I eye Hayes and Decker, and they both roll their eyes.
“Do you know how many girls you’ve hooked up with? I can’t remember them all.” Decker throws his hands up. “Especially from so long ago.”
“It’s a small window.” I try to give myself hope, but Decker’s right. Most of the women are all blurs.
God, my mom would be so ashamed of me. Not that I think I meant much to those women except a fun night with a Colt. One thing I can say is that I never led anyone on.
“Well, Decker will try to rack his brain for anything from that night. Was anyone with you at this Falcons game?” Foster looks at me questioningly.
The only reason I remembered I was there was from looking back at my calendar. I don’t remember anything else about it.
For the entire trip to New York, my friends help me go over where I might be able to find some leads to get the numbers of the women to find out if they’re Tanner’s mom. I feel good as I step off the plane, as if there’s hope that I might find her.
My phone dings as we’re shuttling to the bus.
Hadley: As promised. :) (video attached)
In the video, Hadley holds a picture of me, and she’s saying dada. Tanner is smiling, that little bubble forming as he hits his hand on the picture. She looks at the camera and winks.
Fuck… she’s too good to be with a guy like me who can’t even remember all the women I slept with.
But I’m too selfish to be the one to tell her.