Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Hadley
I wake to a warm presence behind me.
Easton’s arm is anchored around my stomach.
My back pressed to his chest.
His light breathing fans the hair at my ear.
My body recognizes him before my mind does, and I relax into him, fitting there as if I belong.
And for one stupid second… I allow myself to enjoy it. To have this moment just for myself. I breathe him in and don’t move a muscle because I want to savor this time when neither one of us is fighting the pull between us.
I want to pretend this isn’t fake. That I can have this for real.
After all the push and pull, it’s no surprise that I wake up in his arms. The surprise is how good it feels and how much I don’t want to slip out of his grasp or out of his bed.
Every day, this thing between us gets more and more dangerous.
After only temporary satisfaction, I convince myself I can’t have this. He isn’t mine, and I need to stop pretending he is. So I force myself forward, slipping out of his arms and putting space between us, trying not to wake him.
I tiptoe to his closet, grab a sweatshirt, and head to the bedroom door. But I pause for a moment and look at him wrapped in sheets, his chest bare, his lips slightly open, his hair disheveled.
He’s gorgeous, and despite what some people might think, he’s a good person.
Comes from a good family. One day he’ll make some lucky woman really happy.
I’m not sure he knows that yet, but I’m certain of his pure heart.
He already makes an incredible dad, and he’ll make an adoring husband one day too. For the right woman. Who isn’t me.
Only allowing myself to go through so much torture, I slowly twist the doorknob and slip out, but I startle at the scene in front of me.
As quiet and serene as his bedroom was, out here is like another dimension.
Holly is at the toaster, buttering toast. “Good morning.” She’s already dressed and ready to go for the day. I feel like a slouch.
Tanner is in his high chair, eating scrambled eggs. He sees me and kicks his feet, extending his arms, opening and closing his fists.
“Hey, buddy,” I whisper, my morning voice still groggy. I give him a little kiss on the forehead, and he tries to grab my hair.
“How did you sleep?” Holly asks.
“I slept really well.” Like a rock. I think it’s been five years since I’ve had sleep like that. Do I tell her that her son might just be my security blanket? “Thanks again for taking him last night.”
“No problem. He slept through the night but woke up early. I think he’ll probably go down for an early nap.” She plates the pancakes and more eggs and hash browns and toast. “Easton told me you had already given him scrambled eggs. I hope that’s okay?”
I pour myself a cup of coffee. I could get used to this life. Does Easton know how lucky he has it? My mom has never made me a meal in my life. We always had “people for that.”
“It’s great. This is really nice. Thank you.”
Holly smiles at me the same way she has since she arrived. As though she’s over the moon for Easton and me. If she only knew the truth.
“I’m happy to help.” Her hand runs down my arm, and her gaze falls to my sweatshirt. “Oh, that’s an oldie.”
I look down at the sweatshirt I took from Easton’s closet. Lake Starlight High School Baseball.
“I tried to give this away once, and he wore it the rest of his visit, even on the plane. It was busting at the seams. He’s sentimental about things like that.” She turns and refills her coffee.
I wonder if I should change. Easton might not want me to wear it, but if I go back in there, then he might wake up. And if I take it off, I’m in a cami in front of his mom. The safer bet is to keep it on.
I fix myself a plate and go to the table, sitting next to Tanner. Again, he stretches his arms out and opens and closes his fists. I take one of his cute pudgy hands and kiss it, which appeases him.
“Let Mama eat,” Holly says.
I freeze with my fork hanging in the air. She must notice, because she corrects herself right away.
“I’m sorry. That’s my fault. It’s just that both incidents, the baby and the marriage, happened so close together, and you’re so good with him, and he obviously views you as his mom, but I heard you and Easton refer to you as Hadley, so I apologize.”
“It’s okay. Thank you.” I don’t know why, but this whole exchange makes me feel as if an arrow is lodged in my chest.
Holly leans back in her chair and sips her coffee, staring at her grandson. “Easton said he’s trying to find the mother. That the one lead didn’t turn out, but there’s another person he might hear from when he and his cousins were in Cabo for a bachelor party?”
I should probably leave this for Easton to talk about with her. “Yeah.”
She doesn’t say anything, continuing to sip her coffee. “Hey, do you mind if I go to the bookstore with you? I’ve been dying to see it after the proposal. And Austin said he’ll watch Tanner until we head to the game.”
What I’m really thinking is that I might need a breather from this situation. I mean, if Tanner was mine and my marriage to Easton was real, I’d want her to come, but I’m afraid I’m going to mess up something I say to her.
How on earth do compulsive liars function on a daily basis?
“Of course. Are you okay to walk? And we can take Tanner. He loves the store.”
She waves me off. “I’m sure you need a break.”
It would be nice, but I don’t mind having Tanner around. I find him to be an easy baby. Sure, he has his meltdowns and stuff, but we’ve gotten into a good routine.
“I’ll go get ready then.”
“Eat!” She waves. “I’m happy to just be here after having to wait so long. I wanted to come right away, but Easton kept pushing me not to. With Harper due any time, it made more sense to wait. I think this is good for him. He needed a little more responsibility.”
The bedroom door creaks open before I can respond, and Easton walks out shirtless in a pair of shorts.
Just kill me now. If he hadn’t sounded so tortured last night when we were talking about the sexual tension between us, I would think he was doing this on purpose.
Tanner goes crazy when he sees Easton, his feet bouncing, his butt coming off the high chair, screeching for Easton to come to him.
“Good morning. I smell breakfast.” He smiles at his mom and goes over to Tanner. “Morning, buddy. Grandma take good care of you last night?”
He kisses him, but Tanner whines when Easton goes to walk away.
“I think he wants his daddy.” Holly gives me a smile.
“Okay. Okay.” Easton unbuckles him, and Tanner can’t get in his arms fast enough, wrapping his arms around Easton’s neck.
If I don’t get out of this room soon, I’m going to jump Easton in front of his kid and his mom. My forkfuls move faster, and I finish eating as quickly as I can.
“I was thinking we could try pancakes, but I didn’t want to overstep,” Holly says.
I stand with my plate, going to the sink, but Easton comes around the other side with Tanner, and suddenly we’re face-to-face.
“You didn’t say good morning to your wife, East. That’s a quick way to end up in the doghouse.” Holly watches us from the table.
Our eyes meet, and we close the distance between each other. I wrap my arm around him and Tanner, my hand running along his muscled back.
His hand lands just above my ass. “Good morning, wife.”
As I try to step back, Tanner grips my neck.
“Oh, he wants you guys to kiss.” Holly’s voice is filled with glee.
“He just wants Hadley,” Easton says.
“Nope. He has one hand on each of you. Kiss for the boy.”
I lean in, Tanner’s fingers running along my neck.
Our lips meet, and I so wish Easton would slip me the tongue. God help me, I’m completely out of control. But our kiss is PG since his mother and Tanner are in attendance.
“Good morning.”
“You escaped.” His gaze ventures down to my sweatshirt.
“I’m sorry. I just grabbed something quick, and your mom said it’s sentimental, so now that you’re awake, I’m just going to go get changed.” I thumb in the direction of his bedroom.
He fists the sweatshirt and pulls me back into him. “I like it on you.”
He kisses me one more time for no reason. But Tanner loves it, smacking both of our cheeks as our lips meet.
“He loves you both so much. I’m going to freshen my makeup before we go.” Holly stands. “Your dad will be back from his run anytime now.”
Holly goes into the second bedroom, and I pull away from Easton. “A second kiss?”
“We have to make it convincing.” He smirks.
I’ve missed that old arrogance of his.
“Are you trying to make them go from blue to purple?” I ask and take Tanner while he fixes his plate.
“I feel like you’re playing games. Wearing my sweatshirt.” He spoons eggs and hash browns onto his plate.
“I didn’t want to come out here in my cami.” I grab a pancake to cut up for Tanner.
“I get that, but now you’re wearing my clothes like you’re mine, and it makes me go a little caveman.” He goes over to the table.
I sit Tanner on my lap, propping my legs on the other chair. “Then I’ll take it off.”
“Keep it on. The cami is worse.”
“Well, you’re shirtless, so we’re even.”
He leans back in his chair, stretching and showing off every muscle. “So you like what you see, huh?”
I pick up a piece of pancake and throw it at him. “Stop with the games. We have guests.”
Tanner mimics me, throwing a small piece of pancake, but it goes nowhere.
Easton picks up Tanner’s piece and pops it in his mouth. “Thanks, bud.”
Tanner gets all excited from having his daddy’s full attention.
I get it, buddy. I like having all his attention too.