Chapter 57
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Honor
I find a seat by the window where I can watch the planes come and go.
My carry-on sits at my side, and my backpack is on the seat next to me. Everything I’m taking with me fits in those two bags.
The day is finally here, and the nerves have hit my stomach.
Over the past two months, I’ve cleared out and sold the only home I’ve ever known. Thirty-one years I lived there, and now I have no permanent address.
I’ve tried to give Hadley and Easton space, and I know that after I board the plane, that part of my life is closed, and I start a new chapter. Tanner is theirs. I signed over my parental rights so that Hadley can adopt him.
As scared as I was when I first saw Easton’s proposal, it feels so right at this moment. Is this how my mom felt when she left me at my grandma’s and never returned? I’ll never know, but a small piece of me hopes she was at peace, like I am.
Having only five minutes before I board, I reach into my backpack and pull out the envelope.
It arrived a month ago in a FedEx envelope with a cashier’s check.
I’ve read the letter numerous times, but right now, as I finally take the step to start this next chapter in my life, I feel like I need to read it one last time.
Honor,
I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. This isn’t a payment or a way of thanking you for signing Tanner over to us.
There are no expectations. There are no strings. The money is yours.
I’ve been trying to figure out what to say, and the truth is because of one night, one choice, I have a life I never could have imagined. A son and a wife I wouldn’t trade for anything.
And none of that exists without you.
So thank you. Truly.
I know you’ve carried more than most people ever will, and you did it alone.
I hope wherever life takes you next, it gives you what you’ve been searching for. And I hope this money will help buy you your freedom.
From someone who understands what a second chance can mean—take it.
~ Easton
P.S. Hadley said she’s sending you extra rainbow power.
I fold it carefully along the original creases and slide it back in the envelope.
Most people would expect me to cry, but there’s nothing to cry about anymore.
I did my crying when I left Tanner with Easton.
I did my crying at the funeral. I did my crying in the Uber on the way to their condo and in the weeks after when I was packing up my grandmother’s house and figuring out what comes next.
I look at my wrist.
I got this tattoo when I was nineteen years old in a parlor on Clark Street that probably isn’t open anymore. I was months away from my first semester of college and I thought—I want to be like a hummingbird and go anywhere I want.
Then I never left, and I mourned that dream.
Taking care of my grandmother. Watching Hadley send postcards and pictures from every corner of the world. Collecting other people’s stories because I didn’t have any of my own.
But now my grandmother is at peace, Tanner is where he belongs, and Hadley is making roots for the first time in her life. Which means one of us should go see what’s out there.
Around me, the gate is filling up. An airline ticket agent takes her position at the desk.
“Now boarding Group A, Flight 847, service to Quito, Ecuador.”
I stand, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and wheeling my carry-on to the boarding area.
The attendant scans my boarding pass. “Enjoy your flight.”
“Thank you.”
Right before I walk down the jetway to the plane, I look at the envelope with the letter one more time, then slip it into the trash can and head toward the plane.
Time to start my new chapter.