Chapter 7 #3
I turn my head sharply to look at him. His black curls are tighter today, his perpetual five-o’clock shadow a little deeper than normal, which means he probably didn’t shave this morning.
I know if I lean closer, he’ll smell like vanilla and expensive cologne, a rich and heady scent that always threatens to undo me and bring me to my knees.
“Did you put sunscreen on?” I ask softly, ’cause he usually forgets.
Joey shrugs. “I’ll just tan.”
He’s right, he will. His skin turns into a gorgeous burnished brown by the end of the summer, deepening the mahogany shade of his eyes. He looks sun-kissed, whereas I look like a standard old farmer with my farmer’s tan because I rarely take my shirt off.
I haven’t seen Joey since the dinner at my house.
No texts. No random appearances at my house.
I hadn’t even gotten lunch from the food truck during the week in order to avoid him.
Sitting so close to him now hurts more than I can say.
I don’t care how much it hurts me, though, the more it hurts Savannah, the more I know the distance is needed.
I can’t bear the thought of her being in pain or confused.
Joey’s finger brushes mine on the ground, and my body buzzes to life. I close my eyes, wishing for something, but I don’t know what. I stopped making wishes a long time ago. Wishes don’t come true for people like me.
“Savannah told me what she asked you,” Joey says softly, the words a stab to my heart.
I keep my eyes closed, head tipped toward the sky. “Then you know why we have to keep our distance.”
“What if… What if we could have what she wants?”
I choke on the air in my lungs. After hacking for a few minutes, I desperately attempt to ignore everyone’s concerned looks.
Joey has obviously lost his fucking mind.
Instead of encouraging his momentary insanity, I stand, take a deep breath, and jump headfirst into the spring.
The water rushes over me, frigid, and it steals away all my thoughts.
When I break the surface, the guys out in the middle of the spring are clapping for me.
I swim out to join them with a shy grin on my face.
“Fucking cold,” I mutter while my teeth chatter painfully.
“Give it two minutes,” Beau says sagely.
Even as he speaks, the water is turning warm, my skin no longer tight from the cold.
I dip down a little lower to let the water kiss my shoulders.
I look over my shoulder toward Joey to see Trevor heading his way.
My eyebrows furrow as I watch Trevor climb out, his long limbs graceful as he slumps down beside Joey.
Joey’s gaze doesn’t fall away from me though.
I feel my cheeks warm at the intensity of his stare, and my heart does that very familiar deep dive that only Joey can inspire.
Trevor whispers something to Joey out of the side of his mouth, making Joey cut his gaze away from me.
Finally, some relief. The guys around me talk, but it’s hard to concentrate while Trevor lights up one of those fucking clove cigarettes before holding it out to Joey as they talk.
“He still smokes?” Benji asks, voice full of concern.
“Just those clove cigarettes now,” Eli pipes up just before Jackson tackles him under the water. They come up sputtering with twin grins on their faces. “Fucking asshole!”
“You love me,” Jackson teases.
“Sometimes,” Eli agrees through his clearly delighted laughter. I still feel out of place among them, but it’s starting to feel better as time goes on. Like maybe I can be a part of this troupe someday.
“Did you know that ducks are related to dinosaurs?” Nolan asks us all while floating on his back. He probably can’t even hear us as the water fills his ears.
“Aren’t all birds?” Harper points out.
Beau hums thoughtfully. “Imagine a giant duck just walking through the forest.”
“God, that would be better than a dragon,” Nolan says wistfully. He spins around like a top on the ground. “I’d love to ride a duck through the sky.”
“You know you’d rather be the duck,” Harper points out, which sounds about right.
Nolan stands up out of nowhere, wiping the dark waves of hair from his eyes. He squints at Beau, then at me, tilting his head to the side thoughtfully. “Y’all know anything about cheerleading?”
I point at my chest, laughing. “You think I know something about cheerleading?”
“Yeah, like, can you toss me up into the sky?”
Beau and I look at each other, then shrug because what the hell. Nolan grins and swims toward us. He pushes us closer together so we’re facing one another and puts our hands into place.
“I’m gonna put one foot into each of your grips, then you’re gonna lift up and toss me.”
“Nolan…” Benji trails off, the rockstar’s name clearly a warning.
Nolan looks over his shoulder at Benji with a sultry grin. “Let me have some fun, Stud.”
All right, well, I’m not going to argue with a rockstar.
Beau and I share another look, but I know Beau, and I know he’s not gonna say no to Nolan either.
We situate ourselves as Nolan puts a foot in each of our grips, his thin fingers gripping hard at my shoulder.
Water sluices over his body, and up close I can see the pronounced angle of his sharp cheekbones.
The tattoos make him look full of life, but it’s easy to see how close he was to no longer being here at all.
“On the count of three, toss me up.”
“You got it,” Beau quickly agrees, further proof he’ll be an amazing father one day.
We count to three, then lift our arms and toss Nolan into the air. He lets out a gleeful laugh before plopping into the water. He comes up sputtering and grinning, then splashes a proud-looking Harper.
I can feel Joey’s stare on me again—after all these years, I have the weight of his gaze memorized.
I turn around to find him watching me, one leg bent, arm hanging over it with the clove cigarette between his fingers.
Trevor’s whispering something with a wicked grin just as Joey lifts the cigarette to his lips and takes a long, slow inhale.
All the while, his gaze never leaves mine.
I feel warm all over, from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair.
Joey’s looked at me a lot of ways during the course of our twenty-year friendship, but never like this, and never for this long.
The warmth of the May heat bleeds away as cloud cover shrouds the sun. A chill dampness fills the air, and Beau and I say at the same time, “Rain’s comin’.”
The other boys laugh, but Harper looks serious. He looks up at the sky, eyes closing as the wind blows over his face. I fight back tears when Jackson comes up behind him to wrap his arms around Harper, burying his face against Harper’s neck. Oh, to know a love like that.
“Let’s go home,” Jackson mumbles just loud enough for us all to hear. “Let’s beat the storm.”
“Can we bake some brownies?”
Jackson laughs as he swoops Harper into his arms, carrying him toward the shore. “There’s ice cream in the freezer too.”
“King of my heart,” Harper says with a dreamy sigh.
“I want brownies too,” Eli whines.
Benji tosses his arm over Eli’s shoulders while tangling his fingers with Nolan’s.
Beau and I follow behind them at a slower pace, waiting for the storm to come.
The boys disappear out of the water, toward their cars, and Joey stands at the edge of the spring with that damn cigarette tucked between his lips now.
He’s never looked so sexy and beautiful to me, which is the exact reason why I can’t be anywhere near him anymore.
A flash fills the sky, and a crack of thunder follows just as Beau and I look up to the sky.
Growing up in Florida hardwires one particular skill into most people—to know when a storm is coming and when it’ll be more than a passing shower.
This storm is going to be big. I can feel it in the cool dampness of the air, the way the hair stands up on my arms. The air turns sweet smelling, and I can almost taste the sharp chill that promises one hell of a storm.
I smile over at Beau. “Maybe it’ll be a good one.”
“We need the rain,” Beau whispers, bumping his shoulder into mine. “Listen to what Joey’s got to say.”
My heart aches at his words. “I can’t anymore. I’m slowly dying inside.”
Beau sweetly pats my cheek before getting out of the water.
I helplessly watch him disappear toward his truck, where Trevor waits with open arms, a towel held out in front of him.
I don’t want to talk to Joey. I don’t want to listen to another word.
I want to go home for a good sulk and cry, where no one can see me crumble under the pain of the reality of my life.
I climb out of the water and dutifully avoid looking at Joey, but that doesn’t stop him from searing me with one of his patented Joey stares.
“I’m coming home with you,” Joey says like he gets to decide everything.
I square my shoulders and turn to face him, almost getting bumped right into. I grab the cigarette from between his fingers. Taking a long inhale, I stare him dead in the eyes before exhaling right into his gorgeous face.
“You’re not.”
“I am.” Joey grabs the cigarette from me and bends down to snub it out in the dirt. He doesn’t leave the cigarette behind, though; instead, he stands and pockets it into his swim shorts. “It’s gonna storm and we gotta talk.”
“We don’t gotta do anything.”
“Drew,” Joey says under his breath, obviously done with me. “I’m coming home with you.”
A loud crack of thunder fills the air just before the heavens open.
The rain starts as a torrent, large drops falling over us like a weighted blanket.
I tilt my head back and feel the rain, letting it fall over me without a worry in the world.
The sudden urge to cry overwhelms me. My throat gets hot, my eyes burn, and I wonder if that feeling will ever not make me feel like a kid cowering in the corner as my father rages around me.