Chapter 10 #4
Lee reaches out and squeezes my shoulder in a show of comfort. I kiss Savannah’s hand again, then kiss her sweaty forehead after I stand up. She blinks her eyes open, looking dazed and out of it.
“Daddy,” Savannah whimpers before starting to cry.
“Hey, shhhhhh. You’re okay. It’s okay. Mommy is gonna stay here with you. I’ll be back in the morning. Go back to sleep, angel. Go on.”
Savannah sniffles and her dazed eyes glance around the room. She must spot Lee because she starts to cry again while reaching out a tired hand. Lee steps forward beside me and takes her hand in his, enveloping her small hand with his own.
“We’ll get you in the morning,” Lee says, sounding close to tears himself. “Be an angel and sleep, let the doctors take care of you. They might give you extra Jell-O if you’re good.”
“I only like the orange,” Savannah cries.
“I’ll make sure it’s orange,” Danica rushes to reassure her, eyes still caught on Savannah’s hand gripping Lee’s. “Let them go, Savi. They’ll be back in the morning because you need to sleep.”
I kiss Savannah’s forehead again, shushing her until she stops crying and falls back asleep. Lee carefully drops Savannah’s hand before resting his hand on the small of my back. We leave the hospital room with Dominic, all three of us letting out tired—but relieved—sighs.
“At least it’s something easy to treat. Danica was working herself into a tizzy thinking it was measles.”
Lee makes a noise in the back of his throat. “But Savannah is fully vaccinated.”
Dominic shrugs his broad shoulders. “She’s still going to worry.
I parked in the garage after Danica brought Savannah in, so I’m that way.
I’ll see y’all tomorrow at discharge.” Dominic salutes us both before heading toward the parking garage.
Lee handles getting the car from the valet while I dissociate a little in front of the emergency room entrance.
How could this evening go from perfect to traumatic so quickly?
The car is blasting AC when we climb in, Lee handling paying the valet before we pull off.
We’re quiet most of the way home. I stare up at the full moon high in the sky, already bone tired.
Lee doesn’t take me to my house; instead, he drives to his house, and I’m eternally grateful he made that decision for me.
If I have to choose, I’m always going to choose being with him.
Lee parks in front of his house without any fanfare.
We walk together into the house, our fingers tangling as we step inside.
The house is dark but for the moon shining in through the windows.
Lee doesn’t flip any of the lights on as he leads me toward his room; we both have the house memorized at this point.
I let Lee guide me into the bathroom in his bedroom, let him undress me, watching as he undresses himself, then turns the shower on, testing it with his hand before tugging us under the water.
I lean my head back to let the water wash over me, washing away the hospital, washing away the worries about Savannah for things I can’t control.
A sigh of relief escapes me when Lee squeezes shampoo into my hair and washes the cobwebs of the evening away.
He makes shushing noises every now and then while he tenderly takes care of me.
I understand now how he feels when I do this for him and why he’s always melted into a puddle for me, even before I realized why I wanted to take care of him so often and so well.
There is love in caretaking like this that goes beyond anything that can be put into words.
When Lee tips my head back to rinse out the conditioner, I open my eyes to watch his eyes dance across my face, clearly cataloging everything about me.
He smiles softly before tugging me out from under the spray.
He proceeds to wash my body with his loofah and orange-scented bodywash.
He even lifts my legs so that he can wash the bottoms of my feet.
I rest my hand on top of his head, curling my fingers into the wet waves of his hair.
Lee tips his head back to look up at me, his dark blue eyes shining with emotion.
We stay like that for some time, just staring at each other amongst the steam of the shower.
Love really can make everything feel okay, even when everything is categorically awful.
My love for Lee is magic that heals every wound I never realized I had. I hope it’s the same for Lee.
We finish the shower once we’re both clean. After we towel off together, we return to the bedroom naked and curl up in bed together. Lee swipes his broad hand up and down my back in a calming, sweet motion that hypnotizes me into sleep despite all my worries.
“I love you,” I murmur into Lee’s thick chest hair.
“I love you too, sweetheart. Sleep.”
I fall asleep to Lee softly humming The Man I Love, a lullaby I never knew I needed until now.
We wake up early the next morning expecting some sort of news, but my phone is silent, without a single text or missed phone call.
Lee’s never been much of a cook, despite the remodel of the kitchen a few years ago.
My sneaking suspicion was that it was for me.
I sit at the island and watch Lee scramble some eggs in the way he always scrambles them, like they personally offended him in some way.
He scoops the scrambled eggs into flour tortillas and tops them with salsa, his version of a breakfast burrito. Lee’s smile is gentle, barely meeting his eyes, as he rests the plate in front of me. He heads to the other side of the kitchen, returning with a mug of coffee with only a pinch of sugar.
I go for the coffee first, needing the pick-me-up before I can stomach the breakfast burrito.
Lee turns on the radio in the corner to fill the silence of the room.
The voices of the satellite radio DJs fill the silence, talking about the upcoming NFL preseason.
I zone in and out while finishing my coffee, then do my best to scarf down most of my burrito.
I’m pleased to see Lee finished his own because getting him to eat has always been hard, despite his looming size. I’ll change that when I move in.
“Usually, I’d go visit my dad today,” Lee says awkwardly, eyes stuck on his empty plate. “I kinda don’t want to, though. I’d rather spend the day with you and picking Savannah up, bringing her back here.”
“I’d rather you spend the day like that too, if you’re willing.”
“I want to be here. With both of you.”
“I want to move in together,” I blurt out, feeling shame the minute the words leave my mouth.
“It’s soon, I know. But I don’t want to be in that little rental house anymore.
I want to be here with you. I want to wake up with you, and I want Savannah to see Buster whenever she wants, and I want to hear her laugh as she runs barefoot around your property.
We belong here. With you. We belong with you. ”
“Oh.”
“Sorry, I just feel emotional, I think. You can ignore it.”
“No, I don’t want to ignore that ever.” Lee comes around the island to hitch his hip against the counter, curling his long fingers around the side of my neck to tip my head up.
His eyes shine with happiness, his mouth tipped up at the corners.
“I’ve been building a home here for years for you both.
Slowly. If you want to be here all the time, I’m not gonna say no.
That’d be sort of stupid of me. I think Beau would hit me over the head with a cast-iron pan and rant about self-sabotage. ”
“Beau would never ever hit you.”
Lee visibly softens. “I know. It was metaphorical.”
“Neither of us would ever hit you.”
“I know, Joey, I know. It’s okay, sweetheart.”
I wrap my arms around Lee’s waist and bury my face against his stomach, just breathing him in as I fight the urge to cry.
Maybe too many things are happening at once, but there’s one thing that I won’t let go of ever again, and that’s Lee.
Me, Lee, and Savannah are a family. We belong together all the time.
Lee makes shushing noises like he did last night as he cards his fingers through my hair.
He encourages me to take some deep breaths.
My shoulders drop and my whole body relaxes between the breathing and his fingers in my hair.
My phone rings on the table just as I fully relax.
Lee beats me to it, grabbing the phone and then lifting it to his ear, all while continuing to card his fingers through my messy curls.
“Hey, it’s Lee. Nope, he’s fine, I just got to the phone first.” Lee pauses and listens for a bit, fingers still scratching at my scalp.
“Oh, that’s great news. Yes, we’ll be there soon.
Yes, I placed a grocery order last night and it should be arriving soon.
Once it gets here, we’ll head your way to get Savannah.
Oh yeah, the pharmacy on Main and Begonia.
That’s the one Joey uses for her. Mhm. Good point. See you soon.”
“She’s being released?”
Lee grins when I glance up at him, his fingers pausing. “Yep. Her fever is low grade now and she’s eating, so they’re less worried about dehydration. I think we’ll stop at the pharmacy on the way, that way we can just come right on home with her. Okay?”
“You ordered groceries?”
“Yeah, they should be here soon. I got her favorite Gatorade, popsicles, and those chips she likes. I figured I’d ask Beau to bring a watermelon by since the garden out back is empty.”
“She’ll eat watermelon for days.”
Lee boops my nose. “I know. Go get dressed.”