Chapter 10 #6
We get Savannah set up on the sofa under a thin blanket.
She takes a few bites while staring at both of us, seemingly waiting for us to speak.
Lee sits beside her, arm slung over the back of the sofa, and I tangle my fingers with his beside Savannah’s shoulder as I angle my body to look directly at her.
“We have something to tell you.”
Savannah blinks. “Are you boyfriends now?”
“Yes,” I say simply, waiting for her reaction.
Savannah chews slowly, looking like she’s thinking over something very hard. “Can we move to the farm?”
“Yes, soon.”
“Maybe I could have three dads.”
I blink slowly. I hadn’t expected it to be that simple. “There are three men who love you a lot.”
“Mom said I can call Dominic whatever I want but that they won’t force me.”
“That’s very nice,” Lee encourages with a soft smile. “Dominic seems very nice.”
“He lets me listen to K-pop in the car.”
“He’s a saint,” I mutter, because truly, not even I can do that. “Do you have any questions?”
“Can I call Unc-Lee Papa? He looks like a Papa.”
Lee makes a choked sort of sound, then angles his face away to look outside. I squeeze his fingers, and he squeezes back.
“You can call Lee whatever you want. The same rules for Dominic apply to Lee.”
“Yeah, but you’ve loved Lee always. That’s what you told me.” Savannah finishes her grilled cheese, then looks between us. “You said Lee was always in your heart.”
“Lee has always been in my heart. Him and you are right in here.” I press a hand over my heart, fighting back tears of my own.
“I love you to the moon and back, but I love Lee the way the birds sing in the morning, the way the moon shines bright on a full moon, the way you make a wish on a dandelion. Does that make sense?”
Savannah tears up and looks between us both, so much hope in her eyes that my heart skips what feels like ten beats. “Really?”
Lee brushes his hand over her head, eyes soft and full of love. “Yeah.”
She climbs up to hug Lee tight, snotty nose buried in his neck. “I told you! I knew it.”
Lee sends teary eyes my way and hugs her tight.
I watch them both hug and share a moment, feeling like a part of it, yet distant at the same time.
Somehow this is their moment to share after so many years of Savannah wishing on every dandelion she could find.
Savannah pulls away from Lee with a happy little smile, gap toothed smile aimed my way.
I clear my throat and ask, “So any questions for us?”
“Yeah. Can I watch Puffin Rock now?”
That’s about how I imagined it would go. I turn her favorite show on, help her drink the rest of her soup, then tuck her under the blankets with a pillow behind her back.
I follow Lee into the bedroom and hug him just as he starts to cry.
They’re big, loud racking sobs that he silences into the crook of my neck.
I hold him tightly, knowing that nothing I say can top the moment.
Lee spent his life so alone after his grandma died when he was young, only to have a father who hated the very sight of him.
And he waited so long for me, waiting for me to love him back, just to have my daughter basically say she’s not ready to accept her mother’s new boyfriend as a father, but it’s easy as hell to accept Lee. Because Lee has been a dad all along.
“She loves you so much,” I whisper to Lee, which only makes him shake harder with sobs. “Shhhhhhhh, it’s okay. It’s all right.”
All I can do is hold him as he cries. After what feels like forever, Lee pulls away to wipe his reddened eyes.
His face is splotchy, snot at the edge of his nose, but he’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Somehow his eyes turn even bluer when he cries.
Lee contains some sort of magic inside him that he’s spent a lot of his life suppressing, but I won’t allow that anymore.
Not my Lee. He’s gonna shine if I have any control over it.
“She wants to call me Papa,” Lee whispers like he still can’t believe it.
“Cooler than Daddy.”
Lee snorts, rubbing his face on his shirt-covered bicep. “God. It’s been a fucking crazy past few weeks. I feel like I blinked and my life became someone else’s.”
I rub his back and dip to the side to meet his teary gaze. “It’s your life, baby. I promise.”
“I feel like I’m gonna lose it. It’s too good to be true.”
“I know. We’re going to move in slowly over the next few weeks. I don’t want to sleep anywhere but here ever again. Is that okay?”
“If you want.”
I narrow my gaze at him. “I want and want and want, Andrew. Next weekend, reserve it for me. I want some us time before the busy season takes off. Once August hits, our weekends won’t be ours until the end of the year. Okay?”
“Okay. Do you think we can get the duck? I really want a duck.”
“A duck, a donkey, chickens, a cow, whatever the hell you want. We’ll get it.”
“Llamas?” Lee asks with a sparkle in his eyes.
“You know I’m scared of them. They spit!”
“No llamas, then.”
“No llamas,” I agree, then Lee and I shake on it like we’re seventeen and making a bet all over again. In an odd way, we sort of are. But this time we’re betting on our future together, which seems a hell of a lot better than anything else we’ve ever bet on before.