Epilogue
JOEY
Lee is shaking like a leaf in the passenger seat.
All I can do is hold him, be the best I can be for him.
It took him a few excruciating weeks to make the decision, but today we’re at the care facility for him to say goodbye to his father and sign paperwork to make a proxy at the care facility his healthcare surrogate.
Today Lee is retiring. Maybe some might find it shitty, some might not understand, but after the horror Lee’s father put him through, I’m proud of my man for making the decision that’s best for him.
No one deserves to have to care for their abuser in the end if they don’t want to. No one. Lee owes his father nothing.
Lee takes a deep breath, steels himself, then exits the car without looking back.
I hurriedly get out, almost twisting my ankle in the process, and chase after Lee into the care facility.
We’d called ahead and let them know the purpose for today’s visit, so they all treat us a little kinder than they usually do.
Lee’s shoulders are up to his ears, back a straight line as he marches toward his father’s room.
I resist reaching out to take Lee’s hand, not knowing if my touch would give him courage or break him in half.
Lee wipes a hand across his face before pushing into the room.
Lee’s father is white haired and frail looking, eyes yellowed as he angles his face toward us.
There’s nothing there in those eyes—no remembrance, no memory of the son he spent most of his life terrorizing.
“I’m not hungry,” Alfred says.
Lee clenches his fingers. “That’s fine.”
His father turns back toward the television, eyes glazed over and unknowing.
Lee won’t say what he has the right to say.
He won’t be awful or unkind because that’s not Lee.
Instead, he sits in the seat beside his father, while I stand by the door, trying to make myself appear unassuming.
Lee looks less like he’s going to cry and more like he wants to punch something, which isn’t a look I’m familiar with seeing on his gorgeous face.
After ten silent, hard minutes, Lee stands and moves toward me.
“I’m sorry,” Lee’s father says, then turns back to the television. I don’t know if he’s apologizing for all the years of abuse, for the drinking, or just because he thinks in his broken brain that it’s something he’s supposed to do, but it’ll never be enough.
Lee leaves the room without another word and finally tangles his fingers with mine.
Maisie is waiting for us at the front desk. She tilts her head back toward her office, and we follow her in. It takes Lee four swoops of his signature to make a proxy at the care facility his father’s healthcare surrogate, with some parameters that Lee figured would make his father happy.
“This isn’t rare,” Maisie finally says when Lee is done signing. “I’ve done a lot of these over my years.”
“People won’t understand,” Lee mumbles, mouth tight, jaw clenched. “But it’s my decision.”
“That it is. I wish you the best.”
“Thank you.” Lee tightens his grip on my hand and all but drags me out of the care facility. The warm August sunlight washes over us, sweat already dotting my neck, just under my shirt.
“Okay?”
“Yes, I’m finally free. I feel good. Let’s go open the restaurant.”
“Are you sure?”
Lee shoots me one of his aw-shucks smiles that’ll always threaten to send me to my knees. “I’m sure. I’m okay, I promise.”
We leave the care facility behind without looking back.
“Is this all right?” Lee asks as he dissects his appearance in the full-length mirror of our bedroom. “You know I hate dressing up.”
“You dressed up for our wedding,” I say from the edge of the bed as I tie my dress shoes.
Lee shoots me an unimpressed look. “Obviously that was different.”
“You look beautiful. My handsome boy,” I promise with a wink.
Lee flushes, tugging at the light blue button-down that fits him perfectly, tucked into the black dress pants that I had hemmed to fit the length of his legs without skimming the tops of his shoes.
“The ring really tops the entire outfit off.”
Lee looks down at his hand, studying the ring we got just a week or so ago after shopping around for a while.
He wanted a ring for work, as well as one for special occasions.
The ring for work is one of those black silicone rings that blue-collar workers favor.
But the ring for special occasions is a yellow-gold band.
Engraved on the inside are the words true blue, and something about that makes me feel a little more emotional than I ever could have expected.
“Are you nervous? About opening the restaurant?”
“Kind of? Benji won’t be there full-time since he’s in culinary school, and I’ve really sort of come to like that kid. He’s a good sous-chef when he listens.”
“It’s going to be a busy rest of the year.”
“Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll join you in bed at the end of every night.”
Lee shoots me a smile in the mirror. “I know.”
“Can I wear this dress?” Savannah asks from the doorway. We both turn to look to find her dressed in a Halloween dress from last year that’s just a shade too small, tight on her shoulders, and above the knees.
“If you wear a pair of shorts underneath,” Lee answers quickly.
“Okay,” Savannah agrees and skips off toward her room.
“You’re better at that than me,” I point out. I finish tying my shoes and stand, crossing the room to give Lee a deep, full-of-longing kiss while our kid is in the other room. Lee looks a little dazed when I pull away. “Papa.”
“Shut up.”
“It’s your name!”
“My name is Andrew Rossi,” Lee says happily, pinching my bicep hard enough to have me dancing away.
“That it is. Means I own you.”
“Joseph!”
“Them’s the rules.”
“Is this okay?” Savannah asks, a pair of lime-green shorts on underneath her orange-black- and-purple frilly dress that has a baby werewolf on the front of it.
“Perfect, angel. Let’s go or Daddy will be late to his own restaurant opening.”
We file out of the house, Lee and Savannah skipping ahead to the truck in front of me.
I rub my chest to ease the ache, which is a happy ache, after all those years of not realizing what I held in the palm of my hands.
I’ll spend the rest of my life giving Lee everything within my reach.
If I could lasso the moon and bring it down to him, just to make him smile for one single minute, I would.
We listen to Savannah’s Halloween playlist on the way to the farm despite it being August and hot as fuck outside.
Halloween is a state of mind to Savannah, not a season.
Lee sings along to “Monster Mash,” and suddenly I’m singing along as well.
It’s a full-on karaoke show as we pull up in front of the restaurant.
The sun is still pretty high up in the sky, since it’ll set after the restaurant opening.
It’s not a real opening, that’s this weekend, but this is a soft launch for our friends and family.
Plus, it’s sort of a reception for Colby and Eli, who are getting married in a few weeks.
We walk through the front door to generous applause, and Lee steps away so that all the focus is on me. But I can’t have that. I reach out and gently grab his forearm, tugging him closer. Any moment where I’m shining, I also want Lee to shine.
It’s only twenty or so people, but still, I want tonight to go perfect.
I kiss Lee’s cheek, then disappear into the kitchen to find Benji already back there, handling everything like a professional.
I roll up my sleeves and get to work on the main dishes, letting the warmth of the kitchen wash over me.
Before I know it, the main dishes are being plated and taken out to my loved ones.
I made the blueberry cheesecake yesterday, and I trust the team to plate that and serve it once I’ve been seated.
“Make sure you save a plate for yourselves. Stop and eat, join us if you want. This is your night too,” I tell the team, all of them clapping and shooing me out to the large outer room. Benji grins and follows along behind me, wearing a white chef’s coat, his hair pulled back with a bandana.
Everyone claps again as we join them, Benji taking the seat beside Nolan and me taking the seat beside Lee. Savannah has an extra-crispy fried chicken thigh on her plate, along with the mac and cheese that’s extra gooey just for her.
Dinner passes quickly, and so does dessert. But I’m struck with the need to do something before this evening is over, before the day passes.
I lean over to Beau and whisper, “Can you watch Savannah for a bit?”
Beau turns to me with a look that says duh, you idiot.
I throw up my hands in response and gently nudge Lee’s shoulder, tilting my head toward the door.
His eyebrows furrow but he follows me anyway.
He instinctively relaxes when Beau immediately leans over to help Savannah draw on a paper place mat, furiously coloring in the werewolves she drew earlier.
Lee laughs as I tug him out the front door, then out toward the orange groves that fill the property behind the restaurant. “Joey! Where are we going?”
“Just follow me.”
The scent of the trees fills the air, causing memories to wash over me.
The summers in the fields, helping Beau’s family for ten dollars an hour and the chance to get out of the house.
Sharing oranges with Beau and Lee in the winter months as we worked the farm after school.
That time I found Lee distraught and bordering on tears as he admitted his distress at never having been kissed by eighteen.
The memory of me cupping his face and kissing him softly slams into me as we enter the grove that carries that exact memory on its branches.
This time I kiss him without hesitance, soft, gentle, searching his mouth for the answers of the universe.
The sun is setting beyond the groves, its orange-and-pink glow casting shadows over the barren fruit trees.
The fruit will come with winter, sweet and sour, and I’ll pick some to use for fresh desserts at the restaurant.
I’ll kiss Lee on our lunch breaks and he’ll taste like fresh oranges that he stole off the tree for a quick snack.
“You’re all my dreams come true,” I whisper against Lee’s slack mouth.
Lee swipes his thumb under my eye, catching a tear before it falls. “We can make our dreams come true together. Thanks for loving me at the same time, true blue.”
“The rest of my life is yours,” I promise before kissing him again under the shade of the orange trees. Lee’s laughter presses into my mouth, and I swallow it down as I vow to make him laugh every day for the rest of his life.
“Papa! Daddy!” Savannah’s voice rings through the air.
“Sorry, she couldn’t be contained,” Beau shouts, giving us our space.
Savannah runs past our grove, then runs toward us with a happy grin on her face. She jumps into Lee’s arms and he swings her around before nestling her against his side.
“We’re a family,” Savannah says happily, in the point-blank way only a child can really do.
Lee’s denim-blue eyes sparkle, lips twitching under his beard.
Magic. I kiss Savannah on her forehead and press the same sort of kiss to Lee’s forehead.
I tangle my fingers with Lee’s to lead us back toward the restaurant, toward our loved ones, toward our family, and I carry Lee’s heart in the palm of my hands, safe and sound.
I know he carries mine right back. We have a love so deep and true, even time bends to its will.
The End