3. Deacon
Chapter three
Deacon
It was July 24th. Not that I was marking my calendar with every sunrise, but in three weeks and six days, I'd be moving back to Bowling Green. While I wasn’t sure how to feel about returning to the same zip code as Cassie, I was ready to tackle my last year of undergrad classes.
I was also three weeks and six days away from not having to hear another uplifting speech from my parents, grandparents, or grandpa’s proud congregation. My family had always supported my positive life choices, but when I mentioned that Cassie and I were no longer together, it brought back memories of the last time people had to try and comfort me with words. People meant well and felt inclined to say something in times of tragedy.
“He always has a plan,” Grandma Edna reminded me.
Grandpa Dale used a closing line from one of his popular sermons. “We have to have faith and keep moving forward. You’ve got a bright future, Deacon.”
Ms. Laura said, “You’ll find love again.”
“Any plans for when you might be ready to move on?” Mom asked, still hoping I would give her a grandchild in the next three years.
“It’s part of the college experience,” Dad said simply. “Someone else will come along. ”
“Finally!” my brother Drew exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically for my taste. “Cassie was okay, but now you get to screw around with whoever you want for your senior year!”
Drew’s comment didn’t exactly fit in the same bucket as the others. However, it was probably the most comforting response I received after the news spread of Cassie and I breaking up. It was the first one that didn’t make me feel like the sad and pathetic guy who got broken up with during a phone call.
Drew and I were very different. Drew was incredibly laid back. He barely studied, even though he was going to Penn State for engineering. He always seemed to have everything figured out and under control. Even if his life seemed chaotic to everyone around him, he was never bothered by how things turned out.
It was Sunday, and Grandpa Dale’s sermon just ended. Drew and I were standing among the crowds of people outside of the church, and right there on the holy grounds, Drew was trying to convince me that I should just “fuck and move on” to ensure I was over Cassie. Considering what day it was, Drew just wanted to look deep in conversation so no one would approach us.
“I’m just saying, man. Girls come back all horny and pent-up, just waiting for a guy to swoop in and do that damn thing.” Drew shrugged, paying no attention to the line of kids weaving through the huddles of adults.
A little girl who couldn’t have been older than five caught my eye, and I jammed my hands nervously into the pockets of my dress pants. “Could we table this conversation until we get back to the house?”
“Like look over there!” Drew cocked his head toward the parking lot. “Nina hasn’t stopped looking at you since we stepped outside. I bet she gives great blow—”
“Pops!” I exclaimed, shaking Drew’s shoulders as the line of kids circled us again. “Let’s go find Pop.”
My parents stood by the car with a few of their friends while they waited for Grandpa to finish saying his goodbyes. Grandma had already returned to their house to start dinner, set in her routine after being married to a reverend for fifty years. It would be at least another twenty minutes until Grandpa was ready to leave.
“Come visit me at Penn,” Drew offered. “I have a list of girls who would be down to sleep with you.”
“What is your obsession with getting me laid? It’s starting to weird me out.”
“That’s what I’m here for. To make sure my older brother doesn’t have an obnoxious dry spell because he’s stuck on—”
“Watch it,” I warned, mainly because a group of women dressed in their Sunday best were passing us, but I couldn’t hear Drew call Cassie a word that made me cringe.
“Hi, boys!” Mrs. Simms waved as she crossed the tree lawn.
Drew smiled. “Hi, Mrs. Simms. Good message today?”
She smiled back. “As always, Reverend Scott knows what he is talking about.” Her face fell when she turned her attention to me. “Deacon, I heard about Cassie. I know it’s just awful, but a good-looking guy should have no problem meeting another nice girl.”
I shook my head. “Mrs. Simms, I—”
“That is exactly what I keep telling him!” Drew patted my shoulders. “Gotta get back out there.”
For the next fifteen minutes, Mrs. Simms told me all about her granddaughter in Florida, who was returning to Detroit because she got a teaching job. Drew nodded and kept asking questions—like an asshole—and when she finished writing down her granddaughter's phone number on a piece of paper, I folded it up and put it in my pocket.
Mrs. Simms offered a sympathetic grin. “I won’t keep you both, but you’re in my prayers.”
“I can’t keep this up,” I murmured as soon as Mrs. Simms pulled out of the parking lot. “If it isn’t you bothering me about getting laid, it’s someone’s grandparents shoving phone numbers and profile pictures in my face. What about me reads, ‘I’m going to be single and alone for the rest of my life. Send help.'”
“To start, probably the fact that you avoid females.”
I stopped walking. “I don’t avoid females.”
“Go talk to Nina. Right now,” Drew challenged.
I shot him a condescending grin. “I don’t have to talk to Nina to prove I’m not avoiding females. Did you ever consider that I don’t want to get involved with anyone because I’m not sure how long this breakup is even going to last?”
“So Cassie has reached out to you?”
“No.”
Drew shrugged. “Until you have proof that Cassie isn’t”—he chose his following words carefully—“ exploring other territories, don’t wait around for her, man. I’ve been watching you wait for two months. You check your phone all the time, look around wherever you’re standing like she’s just going to show up . . . she broke up with you, Deac.”
“It was mutual,” I argued.
“You can keep telling everyone else that, but I know it’s bullshit,” Drew said through a smug smile.
We spent the rest of the afternoon at grandpa and grandma’s house. Grandma Edna made a massive meal, and Grandpa Dale blessed the food. Everyone around the table smiled and laughed as multiple conversations were exchanged. I sat back and enjoyed the scene happening around me. For the first time in a while, my name didn’t fly across the table. My mom kept asking me if I had enough food. Drew shared a few funny stories from school, and Dad eyed him up the entire time to make sure they were appropriate.
I stacked my plate on Dominic’s and took them into the kitchen. I washed the dishes and stared out the window above the sink as staggered clouds rolled over a bright blue sky. Part of me felt guilty for finding happiness when everything was so different. Time was a weird thing. Something that flew by one moment could completely stand still in the next.
It had been two months since I talked to Cassie, and it was finally starting to hit me. When I returned to Bowling Green in three weeks and six days, I’d be single.