18. Lyla
Chapter eighteen
Lyla
We were about two hours into our evening at The Attic, and I was having a time .
Charlie and I had sampled all three Shots of the Month, and I was shocked when Deacon ordered two more rounds of the Fire Green Apple. This offer came from a guy who was practically shoving water in my face back at the apartment, but his boyish grin told me he was having a good time. Our last conversation still lingered between us.
A gorgeous guy I’m not allowed to sleep with had just said “atta girl” while making direct eye contact and wearing that sexy smirk he probably didn’t even know he had. At this point, the sex gods were practically dangling a good time in front of me. I had to figure out where Jake was tonight. I needed to get laid to ensure everything between Deacon and me stayed platonic.
I felt like one of those sad and lonely tigers at the zoo that had their food prepared for them. If something alive ever wandered in there, eventually, that cat would pounce. For context, I was the tiger, and Deacon was the item I was dying to pounce on. God, if I weren’t drunk before the two rounds of shots Deacon bought, I would be soon.
I leaned across the counter and ordered water from the bartender. She quickly placed a plastic cup in front of me, and I took a hefty sip. Deacon motioned for me to follow him, and when I held my arm limply in front of me, he grabbed my hand and led us to the empty pool table in the back of the bar.
“Should I be doing something right now?” I asked once we were alone.
He shook his head, and just when I thought he would drop my hand, he gripped it tighter. “I have a favor to ask you.”
I stirred my drink with my straw as Deacon lowered his mouth to my ear. His breath grazed my neck, and I halted my next sip. The last thing I wanted was to spit a mouthful of water onto his already tight shirt.
“Cassie is out on the deck, and—” He drew back and ran his hand through his hair. I raised my eyebrows and gestured for him to continue. He was hesitating, and we were way past the point of beating around the bush.
I cupped his chin. “Spit it out, Deac.”
He flashed me a smile that threatened to make my knees buckle. “Can I kiss you?”
I made it look like I was about to say something snarky to his adorable request. My mouth needed to be open. Suddenly, I couldn’t get enough air into my chest. Could he kiss me?
“I was being serious when I said I never want to make you uncomfortable. If Cassie saw me kiss you, then—”
“It’s fine!” I exclaimed, placing a hand on his chest. Why was he always so warm ? I let my fingers linger as I skimmed down to his hip. “I appreciate the heads-up. Couples kiss, right? Boyfriend-girlfriend shit?”
Deacon’s gaze lingered on my mouth, and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I had never seen someone look so innocent and tempting at the same time. He ran his hand down the arm of my leather jacket and played with the zipper between his fingers. I expected him to lead me to the deck, but instead, he hooked his index finger through the belt loop on my jeans and pulled me closer.
His nose skimmed against mine, and even though my eyes were closed, I knew he was smiling. The music around us faded into a muffled stream of chaos, and the familiar scent of his cologne drifted into all of my remaining articles of common sense. He was waiting to see if I would back off or deflect. He was waiting for me to go the remainder of the way.
I guided his mouth to mine, and when he still didn’t budge, I leaned forward just enough to catch his bottom lip between my teeth. He chuckled, and his hand slid over my jawline to cup the nape of my neck. The air hung heavy between us, our mouths close enough to touch if we wanted them to. There was a current I didn’t want to turn off—a burst of electricity that allowed us to block out the real reason we were here. For that reason, I caved first. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. He leaned into me so I could relax, backing me into the wall I didn’t know was behind me.
Kissing Deacon was different than kissing my usual guys of the month. Deacon’s lips were soft, and he took his time to let his mouth move against mine instead of shoving his tongue past my teeth. I wasn’t mad when he did, and even though this was the first time I had ever kissed this man, it felt like I had been doing it for weeks.
The familiar throbbing between my legs served as an unwanted reminder. My body was under the impression that I could kiss Deacon in the middle of a bar and get the usual after-hours session. My body and my desire were both sadly mistaken.
Deacon pulled away and rested his hands on either side of my head. I tossed the water cup I forgot I was holding in the trash to give myself time to recover. My breathing returned to normal, and I wiped the giddy grin from my face.
“Sorry.” Deacon skimmed his thumb along my cheek. “I figured we could practice first. Boyfriend-girlfriend shit?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. Boyfriend-girlfriend shit.”
The epic kiss in front of Cassie couldn’t have gone more perfect. When Deacon approached Cassie to deliver a casual, “Hi, how are you doing?” I did the usual drunken, “Oh my god, I was looking for you everywhere!” girlfriend squeal that only people in relationships appreciated.
There I was, being that bitch. All because Aaron Brooks had to be an asshole.
I went a little overboard with how loud I was when I ran into Deacon, and we were rewarded with a few cheers from the crowd and even scored a couple of “awws” from a few of the girls under the heaters. It was a quick and flirty hands-all-over-each-other kind of kiss, and from the smile on Deacon’s face, it was exactly what he was aiming for.
Cassie rose from where she was sitting and went back inside the bar. A few of the people she was with followed her, and once the coast was clear, Deacon and I clinked our drinks. To the outside world, it was a couple laughing at some super secret inside joke, but to Deacon and I, it was a major step forward in our agreement.
“That was perfect.” Deacon drained the rest of his Corona and tossed the bottle in a nearby trashcan. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me.” I dragged my hand down his chest and realized the motion was becoming a habit. I traced the outline of his abs through his shirt and forced myself to stay on task. “Girlfriend shit.”
“Do you want another beer?” Deacon asked, holding out his hand so Andre could give him a high- five as he passed us.
I handed him my empty. “Sure.”
Deacon kissed my temple and followed Andre inside. I cursed myself for smiling at the gesture and pulled out my phone since I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Jake’s name was on my screen, and the distraction couldn’t have arrived at a better time. I told him I was at The Attic and waited for him to respond before tucking my phone into my pocket.
As I regained composure from kissing my fake boyfriend and inviting Mr. September to the bar, Charlie came running toward me. She held onto my shoulder for support and laughed hysterically at something I clearly wasn’t there for.
“I need to be on your level,” I emphasized before grabbing her hand and dragging us to the bar. I found an empty spot next to Deacon, but the closer I got to the counter, I realized the place on the other side of him was taken. A cute girl with long black hair and perky boobs stood with her hand on her hip and a drink in the other. It was the tell-tale sign of a girl trying to sweet talk her way into a guy’s evening, and the way she was batting those baby blues up at Deacon told me she was trying hard.
I motioned for the bartender. I ordered six shots of Fireball, and Charlie cheered when she heard my request. I was right on the cusp of getting drunk. Three more shots in my system would do the trick, giving me the boost I needed to have some dull conversation with Jake before we went back to his place. I wasn’t trying to stay out much longer. This girlfriend shit could be tiring .
Charlie and I raced to see who could take our shots first, and when I slammed my third cup down, Charlie whined in defeat. She knocked her last cup back and pressed her hand to her mouth .
“You good?”
Charlie nodded, letting me know whatever nausea she experienced had passed. A guy in a BG cut-off stopped beside Charlie, smiling when he saw her drunken girl sway. The small suggestion to Charlie sent a wave of heat through my body, making me second-guess my choice to wear a leather jacket.
“I’m good,” Charlie said, ignoring the passing guy’s disgusting smile. “I’m going to run to the bathroom.”
I took the opportunity to get outside as quickly as possible. When I expected a wave of cool air to hit, no refreshment came. I felt like my face was on fire, and I leaned against an empty table to take a few deep breaths. The music and chatter flowed from inside the bar, and my ears began to ring. My temples throbbed, and I became lightheaded to the point where I saw stars.
This was NOT happening right now.
The skin on my chest prickled when I noticed who stepped onto the deck. Jake and his roommates scanned the crowd, and I wasn’t surprised when Jake found me right away. His blue eyes lit up, and his smile reached his eyes. He said something to his roommates, and even though he was getting closer, he seemed out of focus. I took in one last breath and threw on a fake smile.
“Hey!” Jake yelled over the music. “Everything okay? You look like you’re ready to call it a night!”
His hand skimmed my face, and I leaned away from his touch. He smelled like whiskey and beer and bad decisions.
“Wanna get out of here?” Jake made a hitchhiker's thumb and pointed back inside. He reached for my hand, and his smile wavered when I didn’t reach back. I couldn’t reach back.
Why was this happening? This hadn’t happened since June .
Jake took my hesitation as a yes and my silence as consent. His hand wrapped around mine, and he pulled me back inside. Normally, this was an action I didn’t mind, especially since I invited him here. Jake knew what I was looking for when I told him where I was. Keep things casual. It was the easiest way not to lose yourself to someone else.
I waited for the nerves to subside, but they weren’t going away. The crowd around us faded into blurred images, and I swore I caught a glimpse of Cassie as we rounded the dance floor.
This time felt different. Jake was pulling too hard. We were going too fast. I resisted his grip and retreated backward. His hands loosened immediately, and then I realized he wasn’t pulling hard at all. He barely wrapped his fingers around mine.
I needed to find a bathroom—somewhere I could have a moment to get my shit together. It was loud, and the music kept getting louder. The familiar tingles shot down both my arms, and nausea filled my stomach.
I shuffled a few steps, moving further until I hit a wall. Only this wall had arms that wrapped loosely around my hips. There was a warm chest and the calming scent of cedarwood and lavender. I heard his voice, but I couldn’t see past the fog. The belt around my ribcage tightened, forcing the air to come in heaves as I fell into his chest.
“Lyla, look at me.” Deacon tipped my chin, and his eyes searched mine. His thumb brushed my cheekbone, and I felt his lips on my forehead.
Jake’s voice muffled into the background. “Lyla, you coming?”
“Lyla, do you wanna go to another bar?” I heard Charlie ask. “Is she okay? ”
“I’ll take her back to my place,” Deacon said. He lowered his voice and prompted me to look at him. “Can I take you back to my place?”
Unable to speak, I nodded. Deacon’s hand fit naturally into mine, and he guided me out of the bar.
Being on the street and in the open air helped. As we approached the apartment, I waited for Deacon to say something . . . anything, given everything he had just witnessed. He probably thought I was one of those girls who didn’t know how to handle their alcohol. That I just caused scenes wherever I went.
Deacon unlocked the door of his building and held it open for me to go inside. The silence continued between us as he set out a T-shirt and shorts for me to change into. I was afraid if I stood up again, I’d throw up, so I remained seated against his headboard.
He went into the kitchen and returned with water and some ibuprofen.
I took the bottle from his hand. “Alkaline water?”
“It’s better for you,” he insisted gently.
I took two ibuprofen and placed the water bottle on the end table. The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was Deacon reaching over me to turn off the light.