29. Deacon
Chapter twenty-nine
Deacon
Around four-thirty, Drew started to feel human again. He had a five-hour drive back to Penn State and was doing his best to hype himself up for the drive.
“I’m going to head out, too.” Lyla patted my leg and hoisted herself off the couch. “Charlie is on her way to come get me.”
“I could’ve dropped you off,” I mumbled. Even though I napped for at least three hours today, I was still ready for bed. I wanted to ask Lyla to stay again tonight, but all of her extra on-screen performance time this weekend stopped me. She was probably craving her own space.
“Charlie is dropping off Andre, so she’s coming here anyway.”
“Do Andre and Charlie chill like that a lot?” Drew asked, placing his duffle by the front door and patting his pockets. He surveyed the area around the couch until he found his phone near the coffee table.
“Chill is one way to put it,” Lyla said as she and I exchanged a grin. “She’s here now.”
“That fast?” Drew asked.
“Her place is like five minutes from here,” I explained, forcing myself up before I officially became part of the cushion. I walked Lyla to the front door and opened it for her. “You got everything? Need any help? ”
“I’m good, Scott.” She smiled and opened her arms for Drew to hug her. “It was so nice to meet you, Drew.”
Drew wrapped his arms around her tiny shoulders. “It was nice to meet you, too.”
Lyla stood on her toes and planted a small peck on the corner of my mouth. “Bye, Deac.”
“I’ll text you later tonight.” I tried not to look disappointed as she walked out the door, and Andre took her place beside me.
“You leavin’, man?” Andre pointed to Drew and looked around the living room. “Where’s Nathan?”
I shrugged. “I texted him earlier, and he said he’d be back later.”
Andre exchanged a handshake with Drew and told him to have a safe drive home. Once Andre hopped in the shower and it was just Drew and I alone, Drew turned to me and said, “What’s going on with Lyla, man?”
My eyes narrowed, and I did my best to sound casual. “What do you mean?”
Drew sighed and ran a hand over his mouth. He was battling something and working out how to say it. “You’ve been with Lyla for a month and a half and haven’t mentioned Dominic?”
It felt like a bullet was burrowing through the center of my chest; like someone had just poured gasoline into the hole in my heart and lit it on fire. I swallowed around the lump in my throat and leaned against the counter. Even though I felt Drew’s gaze from a few feet away, I couldn’t look at him.
Dominic.
“It’s complicated,” I admitted softly.
Drew shook his head. “I know you, Deac. You don’t let things get complicated. Is she just some girl you’re seein’?”
There was no reason to lie, so I started from the beginning. I told him about Cassie and the breakup. I told him about meeting Lyla and discovering that she needed help to get her trust fund from her dad. I told him how the whole thing started as a stupid idea, but now Lyla and I had a genuine friendship. I told him everything.
When I finished the recap, Drew blew out an exaggerated breath.
“But you cannot tell Mom and Dad,” I pleaded. “They’ve stopped bugging me about Cassie since they found out about Lyla, and it’s nice to have a break. I just”—I took a deep breath and sighed—“I just don’t want to disappoint them. Not after everything they’ve lost.”
Drew nodded until his mouth lifted into a cocky grin. “Your secret is safe with me. I have to admit, it’s a shame, though.”
“What is?”
“I actually like Lyla. A lot. Somehow, she meshes with you.”
I ignored his observation. “What do you mean actually like?”
“Cassie was alright. But if I stood them next to each other”—Drew shrugged and threw his hands out in front of him for emphasis—“I don’t know. I’ve always had a thing for green eyes.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled him into a hug. “Get on the road. And let me know when you get back.”
Drew hoisted his duffle and rested his hand on my shoulder. “Will do.”
Instead of working on the two essays I had due tonight, I was doing much more important things on a Wednesday afternoon. I was shopping with Lyla for Halloween costumes.
“What did you have in mind?” Lyla asked, dragging her fingers along a row of costumes.
Since my talk with Drew, I struggled to focus on anything else. Whenever I was with Lyla, I was afraid I’d overflow into our space with word vomit. Drew was right. There was no way Lyla could meet anyone else from my family without knowing about Dominic.
“What about this?” Lyla dragged a sexy Tarzan costume from the rack and held it in front of her. “I bet the bartender from Saturday would love to see you return as Tarzan.”
I pressed my lips in a firm line. “What are you talking about?”
“The bartender from Uptown on Saturday. She was totally trying to see if you were down for the cause.”
“No, she wasn’t,” I protested. “And I told her my girlfriend was with me like five times.”
“My boyfriend is hot, Deacon, and not to mention a hot guy . She handed you her who-ha on a silver platter, and you immediately said no. It was a shocking scene for everyone, honestly.”
I rolled my eyes and snatched the costume out of her hand. “Not everyone is just waiting around to see who is down for the cause . And she was only persistent because she knew I was there with someone.”
“Says the guy who has been in a relationship for his entire college career,” she exclaimed playfully. “How do you know what people are looking for? Do you even know who you are in college? Or do you know who you are with Cassie ? ”
I wasn’t sure why Lyla brought all of these questions with her shopping, but I was starting to feel the pressure in my chest. The pressure that came with feeling overwhelmed and not in control. I felt the same pressure the day Cassie broke up with me.
“It doesn’t matter,” I snapped.
Lyla’s hands froze in another rack of costumes, and she searched my face to make sure she heard me correctly.
I relaxed my shoulders and softened my tone. “I’m a few months away from my life starting, and now isn’t the time to start fucking around.”
“A few months away”—her arms dropped to her sides, and she turned to face me—“Deacon, your life is happening right now . The next chapter is starting soon, sure, but are you really just going to sit around for months just waiting? What about right now?”
“I thought I’d be in a different place right now,” I admitted, swatting a nearby cowboy hat for emphasis. “Literally and figuratively.”
She smiled. “You might be the first guy I’ve ever heard use those terms correctly. There’s nothing worse than a guy who had something ‘literally blow their mind.’ Those guys could literally smack me over the head, so I wouldn’t have to hear them talking anymore.”
I wasn’t in the mood to laugh, but I couldn’t help it. It was a very Lyla comment and made me feel like my feet were back on the ground. If I didn’t say something now, I wasn’t sure when I would. “Lyla.”
“Costume idea?” She pulled another option from the rack and decided against it.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “Drew knows.”
“Knows what? ”
Come on, Lyla. Help me out here. “He knows that this is fake.”
Lyla’s eyes scanned the area around us, and her mouth fell open. “Why don’t you just shout that across the entire store? How did he find out?”
“Something you said, actually.”
She took my hand and led us out of the store.
“Lyla, where are we going?”
We didn’t stop walking until we got to my car.
Lyla hopped onto the hood and looked up at me with a small smile. “I can tell there’s something else, and I want you to have the space to tell me.”
An exasperated laugh escaped my chest, and I leaned against the car to stand beside her. She ran her fingers through my hair, and the innocent gesture made the butterflies go crazy in my stomach.
I forced myself to start with the basics. “Remember when you brought coffee back on Sunday morning?”
“Yes,” she stated proudly. “I was impressed I remembered Drew’s order.”
I dragged my hands down my face and looked up at the sky. “The drink I mentioned that morning we met . . . it wasn’t Drew’s order. It was Dominic’s. Drew knows me, and he knew if you didn’t know about Dominic, there was no way we were together.”
“You have another brother?” Lyla asked as her nails softly grazed my head.
The relaxing motion made the next line easier. “Dominic is my youngest brother, and he passed away two years ago.”