59. Deacon
Chapter fifty-nine
Deacon
St. Patrick’s Day fell on a Friday this year, and with about a month and a half left of school, even the professors were antsy. The holiday weekend resulted in many classes getting canceled, and I was grateful mine was one of them.
It was quiet when I got back to Falcon’s Pointe. Lyla texted me to let me know that she and Charlie were making a liquor run for our afternoon pregame. I put her keys on her nightstand and plugged in my phone. When the screen lit up, I noticed a missed call. It was from Cassie.
My mouth went dry. I would have done anything to have her name littered in my notifications a few months ago. Now, her contact photo made me feel like I was cheating on my fake girlfriend.
Fake. Fuck, what about this was still fake?
Not a real relationship, no lying, fuck around in private, and no love. There were two other rules, but I already forgot the phrasing. The only rule we hadn’t broken was rule number two—no lying. But as things grew more intense between us, I started to wonder if that was true. We never spoke lies to one another, but I was lying to myself if I said I didn’t want more.
I played it safe and sent Cassie a text instead of a phone call. I asked her why she called, and before I could put my phone down, her name lit up my screen again.
Cassie
Going out today? I wanted to see if we could meet up.
I started to respond, but my thumbs froze over the keyboard. I didn’t know what to say back. I just wanted to be in the same room together without feeling like we still had closure to take care of.
Deacon
Yup. I’m not sure where we’re heading yet. I’ll know more when Lyla gets back to our place.
I hit send before I realized the word that slipped in there— our place. When I got out of the shower, I checked my phone, and my inbox was empty.
“Deac, you here?” Lyla yelled, her voice growing louder as she came down the hall. She popped her head into her room and looked me up and down, smiling when she saw my towel. “Hey.”
“Don’t look at me like that,” I warned her playfully and stepped into some shorts. She watched me closely from the doorframe but didn’t approach me until there was some material between us.
Lyla was already dressed in green attire, wearing black jeans and a top that showed her stomach. Shiny green necklaces draped her neck, and her hair rested on the collar of her black leather jacket .
“I have news,” she squealed, keeping her voice down so only I could hear her. She threw her arms around my neck and leaned into my chest.
“Yeah?” I said right before she planted a soft kiss on my lips. I grabbed her hips and drew her closer to me. “What’s that?”
“My dad called. He just pushed the paperwork through for my trust.”
A pang vibrated through my chest, and the lump in my throat made it clear. I needed to tell Lyla how I felt, and I needed to do it now.
“That’s amazing, sweetheart,” I said through a massive grin. “I—”
She grabbed the back of my head and kissed me again. This one was much more eager than the first, and when I had to turn us toward the wall so I could steady myself, I knew the words weren’t coming out before we left. She tugged gently on my bottom lip with her teeth and smiled.
“If you keep doing that, you’re gonna have to stay in tonight,” I murmured, putting some space between us. “Pick me out a shirt, Brooks.”
Lyla spun around and pulled my plain black V-neck from the hanger. When I scanned her choice of color, she removed one of her necklaces and placed it around my neck.
“There,” she stated proudly. “Now you’ve got a little bit of green and a little bit of me.”
I wanted all of her, but I filed that cheesy admission away for tomorrow. Today was about celebrating and enjoying our last holiday at BG. My eager inner thoughts would have to wait until a more sober occasion.
When Michelle and Keira confirmed that Tiki Bar was open, we headed out twenty minutes later. It was an outdoor bar near the end of the strip and a crowd favorite when the weather was nice. It was a comfortable sixty-eight degrees, and in Bowling Green, Ohio, that meant the shorts and T-shirts were out to stay until October.
The bar was packed with groups of people dressed in various shades of green. I lost count of the number of shamrock headbands and shiny strings of beads I saw throughout the dance floor. Lyla’s outfit choices fit right into the scene, and when giant cups of green beer were served to us from across the bar, it finally felt like a holiday.
“Cheers!” Lyla shouted over a song that featured a fiddle and a man singing about whiskey.
I grinned, tapping my plastic cup to hers. “Cheers, baby.”
She scanned the bar as she took her sip and pointed to a table in the corner. “There they are.”
I turned to see Nathan and Andre approaching the table with a few other guys I recognized from our pregaming sessions. Charlie lit up at the sight of Andre, and I pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t smile at their interaction.
“I think I want to get another round of Fireball for everyone. Can you take these over to Charlie?” Lyla pushed two cups of green beer to the edge of the counter for me to grab.
“I can wait with you,” I offered as Lyla delivered her order to the bartender. I watched her slide her card back across the counter. “You aren’t going to be able to carry them all by yourself.”
“Have you seen this place?” She gestured to the crowd around us. “They aren’t going to have these ready right away. I’m going to go to the bathroom while you get Charlie and Andre their drinks, and when I get back, you can help me.”
Before I could respond, the corners of her mouth fell, and she focused on something over my shoulder. “Come here,” she said quickly through a shy smile .
Lyla cupped my chin and pulled me in for a kiss. She tasted like cinnamon whiskey, and my heart thumped loudly against my chest. If my hands weren’t occupied with the green beer, I would’ve leaned her against the counter.
She pulled away and squeezed my shoulder. “Cassie just walked in.” I narrowed my gaze, and she shrugged. “I’ll be right back.”
Cassie . Lyla hadn’t asked for an update since Valentine’s Day, and I never offered one since there was nothing to report.
I tried to dodge the cheering frenzy I received when I dropped the beer off at the table for Charlie and Andre. The guys were so drunk I was positive anyone could’ve shown up at the table and received the same greeting.
There was a tap on my shoulder, and when I turned around, Cassie was all smiles with shamrock stickers on her dimples. Her blue eyes had enough gloss to tell me she was well into her St. Patrick’s Day celebration, and her white tank top popped against her tan skin. She must’ve gone to Georgia with her family over spring break.
“Hey you!” she beamed, throwing her arms around my neck and hugging me.
“Hey,” I said awkwardly, taking a step back. I could feel Michelle’s eyes drilling into my back. “It’s loud over here. Let’s move away from the speaker.”
We walked to a much less crowded corner of the bar. Once we had some space, Cassie’s tipsy gaze flooded with a different expression. I recognized the redness in her cheeks and how she looked at the ground.
“What’s up, Cass?” I prompted softly.
Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, and she blinked them away. “I miss you. ”
She reached for my hand, but I pulled it away. “Cassie—”
“Just let me finish,” she pleaded. “I feel like we’ve both had our chance to have some fun and see what’s out there. I watch you with Lyla, and I think you really like her, but there isn’t a single part of you that misses what we had?”
I shook my head. “I spent all of last summer and the first month of school missing you, Cass. But then I met Lyla and—”
“Why her?” she snapped, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I know what kind of girl she is, Deacon. She sleeps around and parties and does whatever she wants, and nothing about her makes sense for you. You never came to Georgia with my family for spring break because you said traveling gave you anxiety, but you’ll go with her to Miami ?”
It wasn’t uncommon for Cassie to use things I shared with her as ammunition when I did or said something she disagreed with. I hadn’t realized how often she did it until I noticed that Lyla never did.
I took a deep breath to keep my composure. “You don’t know what makes sense for me,” I stated. “And you don’t know Lyla.”
“We should at least talk about us , though—”
“I’m done with this, Cassie,” I said calmly. “I wish you the best, I really do. I hope we can keep in touch after graduation—as friends.”
She flinched as the word “friends” left my mouth. I might as well have invited her into a vat of snakes. “Do you love her?”
I pressed my lips in a firm line. There was no way I’d admit how I felt about Lyla to anyone else before I said it to her.
“Yeah, friends.” She nodded and looked out into the crowd on the dance floor. “Bye, Deacon. ”
I watched the girl I had planned my entire life with cross the dance floor, and a weight shifted in my chest. Seeing someone you thought would be in your life forever settle as a piece of your past was an odd feeling. They became part of the foundation instead of the structure you built your life with. Their impact would be permanent, but you knew you’d never see them again unless you needed to repair the damage from which you started.
When I passed our table to help Lyla with drinks, Charlie waved me over to her. I hesitated, but when I saw Lyla bent over the counter laughing with the bartender, I knew I had some time. The way her ass poked out in those jeans reminded me of our hotel room in Miami. My chest was against her back as she bent over the—
“Did you do it?” Charlie asked, sipping her green beer.
My mind officially left the gutter. “Do what?”
“Did you get back together with Cassie? You were over there for a while.”
I glanced around our table to check for any familiar faces. Charlie might as well have yelled the question to Cassie before she left the bar.
“Relaaax,” Charlie sang through a naughty grin. “It’s just us. Lyla told me her dad pushed the paperwork forward for her trust, so that means you got back with Cassie, right?”
I laughed at how casual and judgemental she could sound simultaneously. “Cassie told me she missed me and that she wanted to talk about us, but I told her no. I told her I was done.”
The straw fell from Charlie’s lips. She looked across the bar at Lyla and then back at me before flashing a sweet, closed-mouth smile. “You broke rule number one. ”
“You know about the rules?” I exclaimed, bumping my shoulder against hers. “I thought those were our thing.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Charlie patted my shoulder. “I helped verify the rules once I found out! Lyla might have written them, but every important document needs a second set of eyes.”
“I think it’s the first rule I’ve broken since I got to BG,” I admitted.
“Oh my god.” Charlie swooned, putting her hand over her heart. “Lyla is going to freak.”
I chuckled at her reaction. “About what?”
She shook her head in disbelief. “When she discovers that she fell into a fucking rom-com.”