Chapter 41
JACK
I don’t get angry with my sister often. Charl was, and is, usually my ally, but right now I’m furious. The house is teeming with people.
It’s not unusual; our house has always been full, especially growing up. We were allowed to bring friends over whenever we wanted and because we’re out of town, more often than not, it meant they stayed over. But this isn’t a few friends.
My plan was to take Maggie home. Tell her my parents’ worries, that they think I’m rushing into our relationship, that I’m using her to hide away from my life.
Then I was going to kiss her and let her see that none of it is true.
But before I had the chance, Charl was in full force.
Maggie, gripping her glass, eyes like a deer – not just caught in the headlights – but like they were coming towards her at eighty miles an hour.
What else was she supposed to say other than yes? Luckily, she didn’t see the reserved and judgemental look I received from my parents at her hesitation. And when I looked back to Maggie, I saw something else, a hint of happiness as Charl brought her fully into the conversation about preparations.
I should have known the minute she said promise. Promise meant, I’ll pick you up on time, when she would arrive twenty minutes late, or I won’t tell her when I had a crush on her best friend when I was thirteen, then she promptly announced it the minute said friend arrived on our doorstep.
The noise level is high. Conversations and boisterous laughter fill the hall. I step past two men sloshing prosecco over the rims of their glasses, one dressed in a sharp suit, the other with a wedding cake hat balancing precariously on his head. I pull Charl to the side. ‘You said a few people.’
‘I know, and I’m sorry but it kinda got added to our other WhatsApp group and, then someone mentioned a wedding theme; anyway, look, she’s having a lovely time.
’ I look over to Maggie outside the doors, smiling at something Mum has said.
Maggie is wearing a white lace dress, a white fur bolero around her shoulders.
She’s breath-taking.
It hits me.
Hard.
I stare at her, my family folded around, her cheeks pink from the cold. She belongs with us. She belongs with me.
I’m in love with Maggie Wright.
And I know that a life with a woman who can hear my thoughts will be hard.
I know that I won’t be able to keep secrets or feelings hidden, but this past week has shown me that it is possible.
She’s never hurt if I move away and need space.
She doesn’t touch me without checking it’s OK; this can work. I know it can.
I want nothing more than to take her in my arms and tell her.
I dodge two more grooms, one with a cravat and fake moustache, and make my way towards her but I’m interrupted.
Charl’s best friend Emily introduces me to two of her work colleagues.
I’m polite. Mum is getting too close to Maggie, leaning her head forward, her expression serious.
I reckon, taking in the glow on her cheeks, and the way she is gesticulating, Mum is already a bottle down.
‘Jack, this is Jenni and’ – she pushes a woman forward, short, glasses like Elton John – ‘she was saying she’s got a publishing deal for her debut. Isn’t that great?’
I make the necessary congratulatory noises and try to inch my way forward.
Emily clamps a hand on my arm. ‘Jack owns a bookshop. I’m sure he’ll be happy to have you in, once you’re published?’
‘Yes, yes of course. We’d love to have you in… Fire over your publication details and I’ll get it in the diary. Sorry… if you’ll excuse me, I—’
The noise around the room amplifies. A shuddering fear bolts through me.
It’s a cliché but the whole scene is like it’s unfolding in slow motion.
Mum’s hand begins to reach out. I try to move towards them but I know I’m too late.
Mum’s hand is on Maggie’s arm. Behind me, someone shouts my name, a cheer goes up, but all I can see is Maggie.
She’s rigid. Mum is talking slowly, not noticing the way the colour is draining from Maggie’s face.
The laughter and joy that I’ve seen over the last few hours is leaking out of her.
She looks up, eyes meeting mine.
She knows.
She knows what they think about our relationship.