Chapter 22
LEIGH
“You’re nervous.”
I looked up from my camera bag where I’d been rearranging lenses for the third time in five minutes. Mom was watching me from her spot on the bed in my room at Jasper’s house, that knowing expression on her face that all mothers seemed to have.
“I’m fine.”
“Leigh.” She set down the book she’d been reading. “I’m your mother. I can tell when you’re lying.”
I sighed, abandoning my futile attempt at organization. “Okay, yes. I’m nervous.”
“About telling everyone about Dex?”
I froze. How were we so bad at keeping this secret? Were we really that obvious?
“Oh don’t look so shocked. I’m your mother. Did you really think you could have a man climb through your bedroom window and I wouldn’t notice?”
My cheeks flamed, because yes, it hadn’t occurred to me that anyone had known about the night Dex set up the picnic for me in the garden.
“Don’t look so scandalised, sweetheart. I’m happy for you. Dex seems like a lovely man and Jasper tells me that it’s not all lies, he actually is as good as he seems.”
I laughed then. Trust my mother to check up on him before raising any suspicions with me.
“Yes, we’re planning on telling everyone who hasn’t already guessed,” I admitted. “We’re doing it at dinner tonight. At the farm.”
“And you’re scared they’ll react badly?”
“No. I’m scared they’ll react too well.” I moved to sit on the bed beside her. “I’m scared they’ll be supportive and excited and try to help us figure out a way to make this work when we already know there isn’t one.”
Mom was quiet for a moment, just looking at me with those eyes that had seen me through every heartbreak, every triumph, every moment of my life.
“Is that what you want?” she asked finally. “For it to end?”
“What I want doesn’t matter. My life is in Blue Point Bay.
My studio, Wren, everything I’ve built. And Dex’s life is here.
His garage, his family, this whole world he’s part of.
” I picked at the comforter. “There’s no compromise that doesn’t require one of us to give up everything we’ve worked for. ”
“So you’re choosing to give up each other instead?”
Put like that, it sounded stupid. Cowardly.
“We’re being realistic.”
“Realistic.” Mom repeated the word like it tasted bitter. “Leigh, can I tell you something I’ve learned?”
“Do I have a choice?”
She smiled. “No. You’re getting my unsolicited maternal wisdom whether you like it or not.
” She took my hand, squeezing gently. “When I was your age, I met Jasper. And I loved him. God, I loved him so much it scared me. But I was realistic too. He had a wife, a family, a life that didn’t include me.
So I made the practical choice. I let him leave.
I raised you alone. I built a life without him. ”
“Mom...”
“And I don’t regret you. Not for a single second.
You were the best thing that ever happened to me.
” Her eyes were wet now. “But I do regret not fighting for him. I regret not giving him the chance to choose. I regret decades of what-ifs and maybes. I regret all the time we lost because I was too scared to believe love could be enough.”
“But you’re here now. With Jasper. You’re getting your second chance.”
“I am. And I’m grateful for it every single day.” She cupped my face, the way she used to when I was little and needed comfort. “But baby, you shouldn’t have to wait for a second chance. You shouldn’t have to lose someone you love just because the logistics are complicated.”
“It’s not just complicated. It’s impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible. Just difficult. And the question isn’t whether it’s difficult. The question is whether he’s worth it. Wren would understand, sweetheart. It was a tragic accident. She wouldn’t want you to put…”
“Mom! Don’t. You know things are hard for her, you know why.”
“Tell me he isn’t worth fighting for,” she demanded quietly.
Tears spilled over despite my best efforts. “He is. God, Mom, he’s worth everything.”
“Then maybe tell him that. Maybe tell the brothers that. Maybe stop deciding the ending before you’ve even tried the middle.”
Before I could respond, my phone buzzed. A text from Dex.
Ready for tonight? Picking you up at 5?
My heart squeezed. Three hours. In three hours, we’d walk into that farmhouse and tell everyone we loved each other. And that we were breaking up.
Ready as I’ll ever be. See you then.
I set my phone down and looked at Mom. “What if telling them makes it worse? What if they get invested and then have to watch us fall apart?”
“They’re already invested, sweetheart. They love you both.
They’re going to hurt watching this either way.
” She stood, smoothing her hands over her jeans.
“But at least if you tell them the truth, they can support you. Be there for both of you. Help you through it instead of wondering what went wrong.”
She left me alone then, and I sat in the quiet of my room.
As I stared at the wall, trying to figure out the thoughts spinning through my head, I realised that this guest room had somehow started to feel like mine.
That so many things in this town were feeling like mine.
Maybe it was time to think about leaving Blue Point Bay.
I could move my studio easily. I could travel wherever to shoot, in fact a change of scenario could be a good thing.
It could be the shake up my work needed.
But Wren? Leaving Wren would hurt. I swore to myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t leave her side.
That I would stick by her always. But she wasn’t alone anymore, even if she never left that damn lighthouse.
She had her family back. Maybe she didn’t need me as much any more.
Maybe these past couple of months would have helped her and Claire grow closer and…
I draped an arm over my eyes. This was madness. How had my life gotten so complicated?
Tonight wasn’t going to really be any less complicated.
Walking in with Dex. Everyone there. The whole family gathered.
We have something to tell you.
We’ve been together. All summer.
We’re in love.
But it’s ending after the wedding.
My stomach churned just thinking about it.
I grabbed my phone intending to text Wren, to somehow figure out how I was going to ask her if she needed me any more. Before I could even think how to word it a text came through from the group chat I was in with Delaney and the other girls.
Blake: Tonight’s the night, right? You’re telling them?
Me: Yes. Assuming I don’t chicken out.
Delaney: You won’t chicken out. You’re braver than you think.
Reece: We’ll be there if you need backup.
Billie: And wine. Lots of wine.
Despite everything, I smiled. These women. This family. They’d become mine so quickly, so completely. How was I supposed to leave them?
How was I supposed to leave any of this?
My phone rang. Wren’s name lit up the screen, and I answered immediately.
“Hey, little sister. I was just about to text you!”
“Don’t ‘little sister’ me. I’m calling to make sure you haven’t done anything stupid.” Wren’s voice was sharp with worry. “Like, I don’t know, decided to end things with the love of your life because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared.”
“Liar.”
“Has anyone ever told you you’re annoyingly perceptive?”
“Daily. It’s a gift.” I heard rustling on her end, like she was settling in for a long conversation. “Leigh, seriously. What are you doing?”
“What I have to do. My life is there, Wren. My studio is there. You’re there.”
“And I’ll still be here whether you’re living in Blue Point Bay or not.
Your studio can move. Studios exist everywhere.
Your work is like the most portable form of work that comes.
It literally hangs around your neck.” She paused.
“But love like what you have with Dex? That’s rare.
That’s once-in-a-lifetime shit. And you’re just going to walk away from it? ”
I realised then that I couldn’t tell her that I was staying for her.
I wasn’t going to put that on her shoulders.
Wren was fragile, even if she didn’t like to admit that she was.
I’d forget about Dex soon enough, but I’d never forget about her.
We were a part of each other. And as much as I loved Dex, as much as it would hurt to leave him behind, it would hurt just as much to leave Wren.
So I guess I had a decision to make. Which hurt could I live with the easiest?
“You don’t understand…”
“I understand that you’re terrified. I understand that you’ve spent your whole life being the responsible one, the practical one, never taking risks because someone had to be stable.
Giving up more than you should just because you think you’re responsible for me.
” Her voice softened. “But Leigh, you’re allowed to take a risk on yourself.
On your own happiness. You’re allowed to choose something just because you want it, not because it makes sense on paper. ”
I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat.
“Just promise me something,” Wren said. “Promise me you’ll actually tell him how you feel. Tell the family. Don’t just announce it’s ending without giving anyone a chance to help. Don’t make the decision alone.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “I promise.”
“Good. And Leigh? I love you. Whatever you decide, I love you and I support you. But please don’t give up on this before you’ve even really tried.”
After we hung up, I sat there holding my phone, staring at nothing.
Everyone kept saying the same thing in different ways. Don’t give up. Take a risk. Fight for this.
But they didn’t understand. They didn’t see the impossible situation Dex and I were in. They didn’t see how much we’d both be giving up, how much we’d both be losing, no matter which choice we made.
Or maybe they did see it.
Maybe they just thought love was worth the loss.