Chapter 26 #2
“Leigh.” Mom’s voice was gentle but firm.
She took my hand, and I could see tears in her eyes.
“Baby, I know you’re scared. I know you think you have to choose between your life in Blue Point Bay and Dex here.
But maybe... maybe there’s another option you haven’t considered. Don’t spend your life wondering.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to talk but knowing it was time to make some hard decisions.
“Good.” Blake raised her ridiculous penis straw in a toast. “Now, can we please get back to getting Delaney drunk and making questionable decisions?”
“I second that motion,” Delaney laughed, but her eyes were still on me, warm and encouraging.
The rest of the night was lighter, easier.
We played more games, told more stories, laughed until our stomachs hurt.
Blake insisted on taking approximately four hundred photos, documenting every moment for posterity.
We made Delaney wear a crown made of cocktail napkins.
We sang off-key karaoke in the back room.
But Mom’s words kept echoing in my head.
Don’t spend your life wondering.
Around midnight, we piled into Ubers which thankfully Blake had planned ahead of time and arranged for designated drivers because she was chaos but she was also responsible chaos. I ended up in a car with Mom and Billie, while the others went in a separate vehicle.
“You okay?” Mom asked as we drove through the dark countryside back toward Willowbrook.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Everything you said tonight... you’re right. I know you’re right. But I don’t know what to do with it.”
“You don’t have to figure it out tonight,” Billie said from the front seat. “But you do have to figure it out soon. And whatever you decide, we’ll support you. All of us.”
“Even if I decide to go back to Blue Point Bay? To leave?”
“Even then,” Mom said firmly. “Though I really hope you don’t.”
“You’re biased.”
“I absolutely am. I want my daughter close. I want to make up for lost time. I want to be part of your life.” She took my hand. “But more than any of that, I want you to be happy. Really, truly happy. And I think Dex makes you happy in a way I’ve never seen before.”
She was right. He did.
The question was whether that happiness was worth upending my entire life.
We pulled into Jasper’s driveway, and I hugged Mom goodnight before heading up to my room. I changed into pajamas, washed my face, went through all the motions of getting ready for bed.
But I couldn’t sleep.
My mind was racing, replaying everything everyone had said. About love and sacrifice and choices. About not spending your life wondering. About being brave.
Around one in the morning, I gave up on sleep and grabbed my phone.
Wren answered on the second ring, voice groggy. “This better be important. Do you know what time it is?”
“I’m sorry. I just... I needed to talk.”
Her voice immediately sharpened, sleep falling away. “What’s wrong?”
And I told her everything. About Dex asking me to stay. About my mom staying. About feeling torn between two lives, two futures, two versions of myself.
“So what are you going to do?” Wren asked when I finished, and I could hear the vulnerability in her voice. Her unspoken question.
What about me?
My chest tightened. “I don’t know. That’s why I’m calling you. Tell me what to do.”
“You need to stay in Willowbrook,” she said, and her voice was too bright, too firm. “You need to be with Dex and your brothers and your mom. You need to build that life.”
“Wren…”
“I’m serious, Leigh. This is what you’ve always wanted. Family. Real family. Roots. You can’t pass that up.”
“But what about you?” The words burst out before I could stop them. “What about us? What would you do without me?”
There was a long silence on the other end of the line.
“I’ll figure it out,” she said finally, but her voice was shaking.
“You won’t.” And suddenly I was crying. “Wren, you haven’t left the lighthouse since I moved in. Six years. You haven’t gone into town, you haven’t seen anyone except me and your family when they force their way in. You order everything online. You…”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You’re stuck. And I’ve been enabling it because I needed you as much as you needed me.” My voice broke. “I can’t leave you there alone. You’ll just... you’ll disappear into that lighthouse and we’ll lose you completely.”
“That’s not fair.” Now she was crying too. “You can’t make your life decisions based on me. That’s not how this works.”
“Then tell me how it works. Tell me how I’m supposed to choose between the man I love and my best friend who I’m pretty sure will fall apart if I leave.”
“I won’t fall apart.”
“You will. We both know you will.” I wiped at my tears, knowing she couldn’t see but needing to do something.
“Wren, it’s been years since the accident, and you’re still blaming yourself.
You watch that ocean like you think one day shes going to just walk up onto the beach.
You still wake up screaming from nightmares.
And I’ve been there for all of it because you’re my person.
Because I love you. Because I can’t just abandon you. ”
“So you’re going to give up your happiness to babysit me? Is that what you think I want?”
The word ‘babysit’ stung, probably because there was truth in it.
“That’s not what I meant…”
“Yes, it is. And you’re right.” Her voice had gone flat, emotionless.
“I am stuck. I am broken. I haven’t been able to leave this goddamn lighthouse in six years because every time I try, I see her face.
I see…” She stopped, breathing hard. “But that’s my problem, Leigh.
Not yours. And I won’t be the reason you give up on love. ”
“You’re not a problem…”
“Yes, I am. I’ve been a problem for years.
I’ve been holding you back, keeping you tethered to Blue Point Bay because I’m too fucked up to function on my own.
” She laughed, but it was bitter. “God, no wonder you fell in love with the first guy who showed you a different life. An escape from the broken girl in the lighthouse.”
“That’s not what this is…” I tried not to be angry. I knew she was just lashing out, this was what she did.
“Isn’t it?” She was crying harder now. “Leigh, I love you. You’re my best friend. My sister in every way that matters. But I can’t be your anchor. I can’t be the reason you stay trapped in a life that’s too small for you.”
“My life isn’t too small…”
“Your work is exceptional, Leigh. You could be huge. You could open a bigger studio, hire help, travel the world. But you won’t because you won’t leave me.”
I opened my mouth to protest but she was right. I had turned down opportunities. Avoided expanding. Kept everything small and manageable so I’d always have time for Wren.
“I need you,” I whispered.
“And I need you to go live your life. I need you to choose love and family and happiness. I need you to stop making decisions based on my trauma.” Her voice softened. “Leigh, staying in Blue Point Bay to take care of me isn’t loving me. It’s pitying me. And I can’t live with that.”
“So what are you saying? I should just leave? Abandon you?”
“I’m saying you should go build the life you want.
And trust that I’ll figure my shit out.” She took a shaky breath.
“I’ve been using you as a crutch. I know that.
Every time I need to do something scary, you do it for me.
Every time I should push myself, you give me an excuse not to.
We’ve been enabling each other, and it has to stop. ”
“I don’t know if I can do that. Leave you.”
“You can. And you have to.” She paused. “Leigh, I love you enough to let you go. Can you love me enough to do the same?”
The question hung in the air between us, heavy and terrible.
“What if you’re not okay?” I asked finally.
“Then I’ll call you. And you’ll come visit. Or I’ll…” She stopped, and I could hear her struggling with the words. “Or maybe I’ll even come visit you. In Willowbrook. Meet your sexy mechanic boyfriend and your four brothers and see this life you’ve built.”
“You can’t even leave the lighthouse, Wren.”
“Not yet. But maybe... maybe knowing you’re not right down the road will force me to actually deal with my shit instead of hiding from it.
” She laughed, shaky and uncertain. “Or maybe I’ll just order more stuff from and become an even bigger hermit.
But either way, that’s my choice to make. Not yours.”
“I hate this.”
“I know. Me too.” She sniffled. “But Leigh? When you picture your future, your real future… am I the center of it? Or am I just part of it?”
I closed my eyes, forced myself to really think about it.
And I saw myself in Willowbrook. With Dex. With my brothers. Building a life, a family, a home.
And Wren was there, in that vision. But she wasn’t at the center. She was visiting. FaceTiming. Part of my life but not the whole of it.
“You’re part of it,” I whispered. “But not the center.” And there was a part of me that was ashamed of that.
“Then that’s your answer.” Her voice was gentle now, loving.
“Go. Build that life. Be happy. And trust that I’ll still be here when you need me.
Maybe not in the lighthouse forever. Maybe eventually in my own apartment, or traveling, or doing something completely unexpected.
But I’ll be here. Just not as your excuse. ”
“You’ve never been an excuse.”
“Yes, I have. We both know it.” She paused. “I’ll be okay, Leigh. I promise. I’ll figure it out. I have to.”
We talked for a few more minutes, both of us crying, both of us trying to be brave.
Finally, around two-thirty, we said goodnight.
“I love you,” I said. “More than anything.”
“I love you too. Now go get some sleep. And text me tomorrow after the wedding. I want to hear all about how your brother cries at the altar.”
“He probably will.”
“They always do.” She paused. “Leigh?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For everything. For the last six years. For keeping me tethered to the world when I wanted to float away. You saved me. You know that, right?”
“And now I have to let you save yourself.”
“Yeah. Now you do.”
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind still racing.
The wedding was this week. Trace and Delaney would get married, would promise each other forever, would choose love over fear.
And the day after...
The day after, I’d have to make my own choice.
Stay or go.
Safety or risk.
Fear or love.
I just hoped I’d make the right one.