34
I yanked the helmet from my head and shook out my hair, running my fingers though it to try to break up some of the hairspray. I probably looked like I’d been dragged through a hedge backwards, but honestly, I didn’t give a shit. My appearance was the last thing on my mind. I tossed the helmet at the Ducati and smoothed down my dress, the green silk wrinkled where I had bunched it up around my thighs to straddle the bike.
Unshed tears stung my eyes, but I couldn’t fall apart yet. Not until I knew that I was somewhere safe. Somewhere he wouldn’t find me. Lorenzo had shown me his true colours, colours I’d always known were there, but I’d had no idea how vibrant they really were. After an aggressive outburst from both of us after he had called Adonis a liar, I had punched him, and he had split my lip, and then he had changed his story. His expression flattened as he spilled every truth that he had hidden from me over the last couple of years without showing a hint of emotion. Truths that could ruin so many lives. Then he had proceeded to walk away from me and go back to the gala as if nothing had happened. The way he handled the bombshell terrified me so much more than what he had done to my brother.
I looked up at the unfamiliar building in front of me and prayed that I’d found the right one. I had never been here before, I didn’t think I had even been down this street before, and that made me feel a fraction safer. I walked up the path and located the intercom on the wall. I found the number that I was certain was his, I had looked into him once before, and pressed the button.
A rough, sleepy voice came through the speaker a minute later. “Hello?”
“Toby,” I said shakily.“It’s Mal, can I come in?”
The door buzzed and I pushed through. “Wait there,” I faintly heard him say through the speaker as the front door closed behind me.
I stood in the small lobby and chewed on my lower lip, it stung where it had split, and tasted faintly of whiskey. Of Adonis. I kissed Adonis. What the fuck had I been thinking? No, I wasn’t thinking, I was upset, angry, scared, fuck, I was every shitty emotion all rolled into one. And he had been there, and he acted like he cared, and I couldn’t find the words to thank him, I couldn’t even see him clearly after everything Lorenzo had said, so I acted instead. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have just… It was a mistake. Never again.
“Up here.” I heard Toby’s voice echo down the stairs and followed it up three flights. “Shit. little one,” he whispered as he saw me, and rushed forward to take me in his arms.
I tilted my head to look up and him, my chin resting on his chest, and fell apart. The overwhelming sense of safety that I felt when I looked into his eyes broke me, and my legs wobbled, giving way. He tightened his hold around me before I could crumple into a mess on the landing floor and scooped me up into his arms.
“You’re okay, everything is okay,” he murmured as he carried me into his apartment.
Toby placed me on a small beige sofa and crouched in front of me. “What do you need?” he asked gently, and I sobbed harder, pulling my feet up and wrapping my arms around my knees.
“I don’t know,” I sobbed between shuddering breaths. I’d never fallen apart like this before; I had no idea how to calm down from it. When anything bad had happened in my life I’d turned numb and angry. Mom. Jase. I’d shed tears sure, I cried all through the first night each time, but I didn’t break down like this. Sadness had never ruled me. Vengeance did. But this time I couldn’t find that part of me. This time all I could feel was pain.
“Okay, little one.” He stroked my arm gently. “I’m going to make you a drink, get you some tissues, and find a snack.” He made his way to the other side of the room to a small kitchen area and grabbed a couple of glasses from a cupboard. “Whiskey alright?” he asked, as he hunted in another cupboard, and I mumbled a noise of agreement. I’d drink anything. Even if it tasted like a man I shouldn’t want.
No,I don’t want him.
He sat down on the floor in front of me. His hands were full, and for a moment I was distracted from my breakdown, impressed that he hadn’t broken anything. He placed the two glasses and a half-empty bottle on the floor, followed by a plate of brownies, and tossed a box of tissues up onto the sofa beside me. I pulled one out, blew my nose, and dried my face as best as I could. Tears were still falling, but I could breathe a little easier now.
“What happened?” he asked as he handed me a glass and poured me a large measure.
I tossed it back in one mouthful, the burn of the liquid taking the edge off my emotions slightly, then held the glass out to him. He poured again, but this time I sipped slowly.
“Lorenzo murdered Jase,” I said out loud.
The fact had been repeating in my head over and over on a loop since he had admitted that it was true. My entire body sagged as the words finally left my mouth, and I tucked my feet underneath me and looked down at Toby.
His lips were parted, and his eyes were wide. He placed his glass down onto the rug he was sitting on and pushed up onto the sofa next to me. He dragged me into a tight embrace, and I melted into him. He pressed his mouth to my hair. “Do you want to talk?” he asked, and I nodded.
He wriggled us around so that he was sitting comfortably, and I was curled into his lap with my head resting on his shoulder. He ran his fingers up and down my bare arm in a soothing motion while I told him about my evening.
“He admitted it, he told me, in detail, what had happened and why he had done it. He tried to justify it. He murdered my brother because he wanted to leave his wife and be with me. Jase was so overprotective when it came to me. He knew that Jase would never approve. So he… My brother died because Lorenzo D’Angelo couldn’t have what he wanted.” My throat thickened as the tears filled my eyes again. “He died because of me.”
“You can’t say that. You didn’t know, you couldn’t have known he’d do that. Lorenzo is a psychopath, and that is not your fault,” Toby said quietly but firmly.
“I know, I know I shouldn’t blame myself, but now I don’t know what to do, Toby,” I confessed. “He’s my boss. I’ve been dating him. He’s a huge part of my life, what am I going to do? I can’t be around him, but if I refuse to be with him, I think he might kill me.” I swallowed hard.
Toby tilted my chin up, forcing me to meet his eye. “He will never hurt you again, Vixen. I promise.”
“How can you be sure? How can you promise that?” I asked. Jason had been far more skilled than me, and he couldn’t protect himself from Lorenzo. I was more skilled than Toby—unless it was a fistfight—so how could he promise me that Lorenzo wouldn’t hurt me? I had no doubt that this kind, gentle giant would do anything to protect the people he cared about, and I hoped I was one of those lucky people, but I couldn’t imagine him killing anyone. And in the end, that’s what it would come to.
“Just trust me,” he said, his ice blue eyes locking on mine. “I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.” His gaze fell to my lips. “If you’ll let me.”
“Is this your way of telling me its all been a lie?”
“Of course, it’s been a lie,” he sighed. “Don’t tell me you honestly believed that I didn’t want you.”
“For a moment, yes,” I confessed.
“Fuck,” he cursed, and a moment later his mouth collided with mine. Tears ran down my face again, but this time they were happy ones. Because in the darkness I had found a spark of light, and he filled me with so much hope.