4. Gavin
Gavin
Imanaged to avoid Dani for a few hours before lunch. After that meeting, it felt like the safest option.
When it’s time to meet, I head to the restaurant and get a table for three near the front.
I glance at the menu and know right away what Dani’s going to get.
She was always a creature of habit when it came to Italian food, and I would be shocked if things have changed over the years.
The restaurant is practically empty, which could go very well for me, or very badly. I haven’t decided yet.
The front door opens, and I see Dani, with who I assume is Alexa, walk in. They make their way to the host stand to check in, and I can hear their entire conversation.
“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this,” Dani huffs.
“It’ll be fine. You’ll have me as your buffer and if he says anything I don’t like, I’ll jump right in.” Alexa smirks.
That makes me quietly chuckle. I’m glad Dani has such a good friend, even if it’s at my expense.
A phone starts ringing and Alexa reaches into her purse.
“Just give me one second.” She brings it to her ear. “Hello… Yes, this is Alexa… No, that interview isn’t for two more hours… Um, sure, I’ll be right there… Goodbye.”
“Don’t tell me you have to go,” Dani pleads.
“I’m so sorry, D. Tate’s people are moving up the interview. I need to be downtown in thirty minutes or it’s not happening.”
“No, no, it’s fine. This is a huge get. Go. I’ll be okay.”
As Alexa is just outside the open door, she yells, “I want all the details when I get back. And don’t forget, don’t kill him! I can’t afford that kind of bail.”
Dani laughs. So do I. Alexa is definitely a character.
“Bye! And good luck!” Dani says to her friend.
Alexa vanishes from view, and Dani scans the restaurant for me.
I wave her over and suddenly feel a wave of anxiety.
With a single look, she makes me feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
How can she still make me feel like this after a decade apart?
Like I want to kiss her and keep her at a football field’s distance at the same time.
“Thanks for coming.” I gesture for her to sit.
“Uh, yeah.” She hesitates.
“I saw Alexa had to leave. Tate’s interview got pushed up it sounds like?”
She stares at me, her brows furrowed. “Were you over here eavesdropping on our private conversation?”
I hold my hands up like a busted perp. “My bad. But it’s not like you were trying very hard to keep your voices down.”
“Well, if you must know, boss, it was now or never. She worked too hard for it not to happen.”
I know when she says the word boss, it’s dripping with disdain. But for some reason, it still does something to me that’s probably a sign I need to get my head checked.
“If I’m being honest, I’m actually glad she had to leave,” I say. “I think this conversation would be better just between us.”
As I’m about to keep going, our server walks up to the table. “What can I get you guys to drink?”
I answer before Dani can. “A coke with lemon for me, and a Shirley Temple for my friend here. And we’re also ready to order. Can we please get the meatball appetizer, a large salad with ranch, and an order of cheesy garlic bread?”
“Sounds good.” The server smiles. “I’ll have that out shortly.” She takes our menus and walks away.
Dani stares at me with a blank look.
“What?” I ask.
“We haven’t seen each other in ten years. How do you know my tastes haven’t changed?”
“Dani… You literally ordered the same thing every time we went out for Italian while we were together. And if I remember correctly, you told me you’ve been ordering this same thing since you were a kid. There’s no way it’s changed.”
She looks down at her lap, and I can only assume she’s twisting the hem of her shirt, something I know she does when she’s nervous.
I laugh. “You know I’m right.”
“So, what did you want to talk about?”
“Straight to business. See? You haven’t changed.
” I clear my throat and shift my tone into business mode.
“I think we need to clear the air between us. What happened today in the pitch meeting can’t happen again, and I think we both know it’s because there’s a giant elephant in the room that needs addressing. ”
She seems to sit up at that. “Forget the elephant, we need to discuss your total lack of professional respect for me. You may be in charge, but I’ve been doing this for a long-ass time.
I’ve been in this newsroom, this town, a lot longer than you.
You’ve been here basically five minutes.
I deserve more respect than how you treated me today. ”
There she is. That’s my girl. The fire I knew was always there.
“Listen, I could have handled the meeting better. Blame it on first-day nerves and trying to establish myself as an authority with the team. But I still stand by what I said about the ratings. If they aren’t better after today’s show, I’m instituting changes moving forward.”
“Give me a week. If I can’t move us up the ratings in one week, I promise not to put up a fight anymore.”
“Nope. Today only. You shouldn’t need a week if Alexa’s story is as good as you say. In fact, go ahead and put the Tate story at the beginning of the show.”
“Wait, really?” A smile slowly creeps onto her face.
“Yeah. But under the condition it can’t go past two minutes.”
“Gavin, that’s not enough time!”
I shake my head. “Take it or leave it.”
“Fine,” she grumbles. “I’ll text the team and let them know.”
As she pulls out her phone, I take a deep breath, really not wanting to bring up the next heated conversation.
“So, about that day…” I trail off.
“What’s there to talk about? You left me all those years ago and I moved on with my life. End of story.”
There’s a pain in her voice that others wouldn’t notice, but I know her, and it rips through me.
“No. Ending things the way I did wasn’t right, and I owe you an apology, and an explanation.”
The truth is, I can’t actually tell her the truth. What I can tell her is something that will hopefully fix this chasm between us and save our working relationship. Or at least make it tolerable. It’s going to hurt like hell, for both of us, but probably not as awful as what really happened.
Dani looks up at me, and I see what she’s doing. She’s reading me. I forgot how good she was at that.
Dammit. Keep it together, Gavin. You need to sell this.
“Fine. Talk,” she huffs.
“We got serious really fast. We moved in together after only a few months. And when you got a job that required you to pack up and move across the country, you just assumed I would go with you. You didn’t ask. Once you were gone, I realized being serious wasn’t what I wanted.”
Tears start to fill her eyes, and I fight the urge to reach for her. She still affects me in ways she doesn’t even realize.
“You… you kept saying how excited you were for us to start a new life together out here. How much you loved me…” She pauses to collect her words. “How one day we were going to get married. That was all you. Not me.”
“I was telling you what you wanted to hear…” The next words out of my mouth nearly rip my heart out. “I didn’t mean them.”
God. I wish I could tell her the truth. Tell her what really happened all those years ago. But I need to protect her. That’s all I want for her. Even if it means at the expense of my own happiness.
“That’s it? That’s all I get?” Her face is red from fighting back the tears, mixed with anger.
“There’s nothing else to say.”
She looks like she wants to explode, breathing through every thought running through her head.
“I have questions. Not about us. Well, I do. But first, how the hell are you here? And in news? How the hell are you running a newsroom already?”
“That’s a story for another time.” I force a smile.
“Gavin!”
Fortunately, we’re interrupted by our food arriving, and the smell of garlic and cheese distracts Dani from the third degree.
As we eat, I manage to keep the conversation about work. I ask about the newsroom environment and who’s who. Finally, I ask a question that’s been nagging me all day.
“What happened to the Sacramento job?”
“How did you find out about that?”
“Mr. White mentioned that he hired you to be a writer right out of college. A red flag went off in my head because I know you moved from Pittsburgh to Sacramento to produce your own show out there. So, what happened? I know you. There’s no way in hell you would’ve given up a producer spot in the twentieth largest market to be a writer in the twenty-eighth. ”
Dani takes a deep breath. “You’re right,” she whispers. “I didn’t give it up. I was fired. On my first day.”
“What?” My eyebrows shoot up. “How is that possible?”
Dani straightens in her seat, clearly uncomfortable with what she’s about to say.
“I started that job literally two days after we broke up. I was a mess. Actually, a mess doesn’t even begin to cover it.
I was a train wreck. I couldn’t hide it.
I was crying every fifteen minutes, the show I put together was a disaster, and I may or may not have lashed out at the anchors when they had questions about the layout.
Needless to say, I was called in to the general manager’s office at the end of the day and told it wasn’t going to work out.
“Luckily, my resume was still on Mr. White’s desk from when I sent out all my applications during school.
He called a few days later asking if I was still in the market for a job.
I didn’t even mention the Sacramento gig to him.
It’s not even on my resume. I saw KSSD as a second chance and got my shit together.
Wasn’t going to let some guy ruin everything I worked for. Been here ever since.”
I just stare at her. I want to say something, but don’t know what.
“I… I…” I stutter.
“Yes?” She stares blankly.
“I’m so sorry, Dani.” I drop my head. “I had no idea that was going to happen. Any of it.”
“It’s in the past.” She waves her hand like it’s no big deal.
But this is a huge deal. I had no idea she took the breakup so badly it nearly blew up her career.
After we broke up, she blocked me on all her social media accounts, so it’s not like I could keep up with what she was doing.
The very thing she worked her entire life for.
Based her entire personality on. When we were together, one of the things that drew me to her was her passion for this industry.
To hear I almost ruined that for her sends a knife through my gut.
I almost want to double back and tell her the truth.
Then maybe she would know that all this heartbreak was for a reason.
But I can’t.
I shake off the feeling and put back on the mask of an asshole I’ve worn for the last ten years.
“We should get back,” I say casually.
“Um, yeah. I need to check on everyone’s shows.”
I leave cash on the table to pay and walk us back to the station, fighting every urge to grab her and pull her into a hug, never letting go.