8. Dani
Dani
Alexa and I didn’t end up leaving the station until almost eleven that night. We were able to get a lot done, but this is just the beginning of a long week ahead for us.
As I park my Jeep into my apartment parking spot, the weight of the day hits me, and pure exhaustion settles into my bones.
I notice Sam’s bike sitting nearby, and the feeling of dread takes over.
I know the minute I walk inside, he’s going to bring up everything from earlier, and I’m too tired for that.
Part of me is debating leaving and sleeping at Alexa’s, but that would probably just make things worse.
I push open the front door, but instead of an upset boyfriend waiting for me, I find a picnic set up in the middle of our living room.
The coffee table has been pushed aside, replaced by a red blanket spread across the floor, topped with plates of food and two large glasses of red wine.
The room is lit only by candlelight, the flames casting warm shadows along the walls.
The air smells faintly of garlic, and soft music plays throughout the room.
For a moment, I just stand there, exhaustion forgotten, taking it all in as warmth replaces the knot in my chest.
“What… what is this?” I whisper.
Sam comes out from the kitchen and pulls me into a deep hug. “This is my apology. I didn’t react well to the Gavin thing. And it wasn’t fair for me to get mad about you working late. I was just really excited to finally have some alone time with you since it’s been a while. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
Still holding me close, Sam slides a hand behind my head and pulls me in for a kiss.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he murmurs against my lips.
The warmth of his mouth is familiar. Safe and comfortable.
After nine years together, I don’t expect butterflies anymore.
The truth is, I’m not sure I ever did when I kissed Sam.
I’ve always told myself it was because we were friends first for so long, that we skipped the fluttering, nervous stage and went straight to something steadier.
We became an old married couple, without the marriage.
I part my lips, letting Sam’s tongue find mine. He deepens the kiss even more and lifts me into his arms.
“I want you,” he growls.
“It’s been a really long day, and I have a bit of a headache. I’ll make it up to you.”
Sam sighs and puts me down. “Okay. Let’s eat then.”
Something else we don’t have? An active sex life.
The first time we slept together, at the beginning of our relationship, it was awkward as hell.
I told myself it made sense, him being my best friend first. Over time, it got better.
It’s not like I don’t get off most of the time, but just like with kissing, the spark never really showed up.
And not every relationship has fireworks. Not every love story looks like a fairy tale or a romance novel, where passion explodes and follows you forever. That’s what I’ve always believed, anyway. With Sam, everything else is so good. It’s easy and solid. I love that about us.
Still, every once in a while, I wonder if something is missing, or if this is just what real love is supposed to look like.
We use dinner to catch up on each other’s lives. I fill him in on the big project Alexa and I were working on, and why it will probably mean a lot of late nights this week. The thing I can’t keep avoiding is the elephant named Gavin in the room.
“So, I guess we need to talk about Gavin,” I say quietly into my wineglass.
Sam keeps his gaze on me. “I don’t like that he’s here, D. What’s he even doing here anyway? I thought he was a repair guy back in Pennsylvania.”
“That’s what I thought! I don’t even know how he got this job. Apparently, he was some hotshot producer in New York. I’m just as confused as you. Trust me.”
“You didn’t bother asking him?”
“Of course I did. But he won’t tell me anything.”
The truth is, after our lunch, I looked Gavin up online to see what I could find out, and surprisingly, it was pretty vague. Basically, he started as an intern at his New York station and kept moving up the ranks. It seems like they really loved him over there.
Of course they did.
I found a few social media pages of his former colleagues with photos from a going-away party for him, but since I blocked him all those years ago, I can’t see his actual pages.
I could unblock him. I’m really tempted to.
But I know if Sam sees he’ll flip out, and I don’t feel like dealing with that headache right now.
“The fact is,” I continue, “this is where we’re at, and I either quit my job, or I find a way to deal with it.”
“Well…” Sam trails off.
“No! We’ve talked about this. I’m not leaving my job. I love what I do too much.”
“But you know I can support us both. And with Gavin in the picture, maybe this is your sign—”
“Ugh.” I cut him off. “If one more person brings up signs and fate to me.”
I take a large sip from my glass. The wine is already starting to go to my head, which is the only reason I can stand this conversation for as long as I have.
“What does that mean?”
“Just forget it. I’m not quitting. He’s not chasing me out of my station. It’ll be fine.”
Sam takes my hand, his fingers tightening slightly as his brown eyes lock onto mine, intense enough to make my stomach knot. It’s the look he gets when he’s bracing himself.
“Has he tried anything since he got here?”
My mind drifts back to that moment in Gavin’s office. Our lips so close I could feel the heat of his breath. The almost electric pull between us. The thrill it sent through my body. The odd ache of sadness when we finally pulled away.
“Of course not,” I force out. “Strictly professional. Gavin and I were over a long time ago.”
A smile creeps onto Sam’s lips. “I trust you.” But the moment the words leave his mouth, his expression changes. His eyes harden, and a seriousness settles over him.
“What’s going on?” I scan his face. “You seem so different all of a sudden.”
“You know how I’ve been doing a lot of extra training these past few months?”
I nod.
“Well, there’s a reason. I didn’t know how to tell you, but now I’m sorta out of time.”
“Sam…” There’s a shake to my voice. “What’s going on?”
“My unit’s deploying…” He pauses before letting out a large breath. “Next week.”
It’s like all the air has been sucked from my lungs.
“What?” I force out.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
I feel the tears build behind my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. “How long have you known about this?”
“I got the orders three months ago.”
“Three months!” I yell. “You’ve known for three months and didn’t tell me?”
“Dani, I’m so sorry,” he pleads.
Every emotion is running through my head. Anger, sadness, fear. I can’t keep them straight. I know I need to get away from the situation. “I… I can’t talk about this right now. I’m going to bed.”
I quickly stand and run to the bedroom, slamming the door behind me.
“Three months! He’s known for three fucking months he was leaving and he didn’t say anything?” Alexa yells.
With the way she’s going off, you would think she’s more pissed about this than I am.
After a completely sleepless night, I dragged myself to the station to meet Alexa in the editing suite this morning like we planned.
When I left the apartment, I found Sam passed out on the couch.
After storming into the bedroom, I refused to let him tell me any other details.
I was too upset. How long would he be gone for?
Where was he going? I know absolutely nothing, except for the fact that he is leaving next week.
I know I can’t avoid him forever, but for now, I need to focus all my energy on this Tate special.
“Alexa, you know I love you, but let’s get started. I don’t even want to think about Sam right now.” A yawn escapes my lips.
Gavin walks in holding three large coffees. “Morning, ladies,” he exclaims.
“You are a literal angel right now,” Alexa cheers as she grabs the two cups with our names on them.
“I aim to please,” he chuckles.
His face quickly falls when he sees the look of exhaustion in my eyes. “Dani, you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just didn’t get much sleep. Too much brainstorming for the Tate thing. All good. I know you have a lot of work to do. We’re all good here. I’ll come get you when we have something to show you.”
“If you’re sure.” He’s skeptical, but leaves the editing suite anyway.
Alexa knows Gavin is the last person I’m going to unload my Sam problems on, so she rolls with the lie.
The next twelve hours are brutal. Between fact checking everything in Tate’s background, Alexa recording her voice-overs, and getting the rough cut done, our brains are fried. But all that’s left is to clean up the editing, and that can wait until tomorrow.
“I can’t believe we pulled this off,” Alexa cheers.
“It’s not done yet,” I remind her.
“Tell me again why we didn’t ask an editor to help us with this?” Alexa questions.
“Because this is our baby. Do you really want someone else touching it?”
“No, I guess not. I’m just so tired,” Alexa cries.
Just as we’re about to shut down the computer, Gavin pokes his head in. “How’s it going, ladies?”
“What are you still doing here?” I’m shocked to see him at the station so late.
“We’re all in this together. I don’t leave until you do. How much were you able to get done?”
“It’s all put together.” Alexa yawns. “Tomorrow we’ll clean up the editing and then it will be ready to submit.”
“Well, then get out of here and get some sleep. I’ll see you guys in the morning. And come in a little later. If all it needs is cleaning, I don’t want to see you guys here until eleven at the earliest.” Gavin smiles.
“Works for me!” Alexa giggles. “Thanks, boss!”
“But Gavin—” I start.
“I don’t want to hear it.” He cuts me off. “It’ll be fine. See you in the morning.”