9. Dani
Dani
Alexa wanted to spend the day hanging out. Me? I want to use the day to just watch TV and not do anything. It sounds like heaven. I jiggle my keys in the door of the apartment and walk in to find Sam on the couch. I must have been so lost in my thoughts I didn’t see his bike in the lot.
“What are you doing home?” he asks, his brows furrowed. “You okay?”
“Yeah, fine. We finished ahead of schedule so Gavin gave Alexa and me the rest of the day off.”
“Well, that was nice of him.” He lets out a shaky breath. “I guess now might be a good time for us to talk, huh?”
“Yeah…” I trail off. “We probably should.”
I sit down next to him and brace myself. “Okay. Talk.”
Sam grabs my hands in my lap, rubbing my knuckles in a circular motion. “I’m really sorry I kept it from you for so long.” He stops, almost like he’s trying to come up with his next words carefully. “I was just so worried about how you were going to react.”
“Sam, you’ve been in the military our entire relationship. Hell, even longer. You really think I wasn’t prepared for this someday?”
“That’s fair.”
“Even if I did take it badly, you robbed me of having a few months to process it.” My voice cracks despite my best effort to keep it steady. “Now I get how many days?”
“I leave Monday.”
“Exactly,” I huff. Ripping my hands from his hold, I fold my arms tight around myself, hoping it might keep everything from spilling out.
“I get what, five days to come to terms with something that all the other families in your unit got three months to figure out? I don’t even know where you’re going or for how long. ”
“Iraq. It’s boots on the ground for eight months.”
The words land heavy. I nod, more out of reflex than understanding, because my mind is scrambling to catch up. Eight months. A number that feels both endless and terrifying.
“I really am sorry for not telling you, babe.” He cups my face in his hands, thumbs brushing softly beneath my eyes like he’s afraid I’ll break. He kisses me gently. “Can you please forgive me?”
For the first time in a long time, I see vulnerability on Sam’s face. He still looks like his strong self. The solid, dependable guy I’ve always known. Yet the weight of this is pressing down on him too.
“Of course I do.” The words come easily, surprising even me. A smile spreads across my face, more from love than certainty.
“And here’s the best part.”
I arch a brow, letting out a breathy laugh. “There’s a good part to all of this?”
He chuckles, a sound that feels almost too light for the weight of what he’s just told me. “Things have improved a lot communication-wise over there, so we can still talk on the phone or video chat. So that’s something.”
“That’s great, babe.” I smile, even though part of me is already imagining dropped calls, grainy screens, and the ache of seeing him without being able to touch him.
“Well, we need to take advantage of the next few days,” he says, eyes brightening. “Since you have today off, why don’t we go for a ride? It’s been a while since we did that.”
“I would love that.” The suggestion settles me a little bit.
He stands quickly and reaches for my hand. The moment I take it, he pulls me off the couch and into a tight embrace. Before I can even register it, we’re slow-dancing around the living room.
Sam isn’t especially tall, only a few inches taller than me, but his broad frame wraps around me completely. In his arms, warmth comes easily, the kind that makes you forget everything else for a moment.
Sam takes us to one of my favorite riding spots, the Pacific Coast Highway.
It runs along the Pacific Ocean, offering some of the most breathtaking views I’ve ever seen.
Normally, the lanes are packed with cars heading towards the beach towns that line the coast, but it’s the middle of the workday, so the road is open and clear for us.
I wrap my arms around Sam’s waist and rest the side of my helmeted head against his back, watching the endless blue of the ocean rush by. I close my eyes, letting the wind whip around us, trying to lose myself in the sound of it. But it isn’t enough to quiet my thoughts.
I know I said I forgive him for lying. Well, technically, it was a sin of omission. But do I really? Or did I say it just to end the fight? Because deep down, I know the outcome doesn’t change. Sam is still leaving.
So, he can either go with the weight of my anger following him overseas, or I can let him believe I’m okay, keeping him focused and safe. I chose the latter.
We ride for nearly two hours before pulling back into our parking lot. As we walk into the apartment, my phone vibrates inside my crossbody bag. I pull it out to see Alexa calling.
“I’m gonna go change,” Sam says, walking towards our bedroom.
“Okay. I’m going to see what Alexa wants.” I hold up the phone to show him the incoming call.
Sam closes the door behind him, and I plop myself on the couch.
“Nice timing,” I say as the call connects. “We just got back from a ride.”
“I’m guessing that means you worked everything out?” Alexa asks.
“Yep. We’re all good.”
I decide to keep my conflicted thoughts to myself. I know I tell Alexa everything. But with this, I need to just deal with it myself.
“Well, good. Then that means you should be up for coming out for drinks tonight.”
“I can’t. Sam leaves in a few days. I need to spend this time with him.”
“Then bring him along.”
I lower my voice. “You don’t even like Sam.”
“I just don’t like how he treats you sometimes.”
“Which is ironic considering you were the one who encouraged me to go out with him in the first place.”
“Proof even I can make a mistake every once in a while.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Listen. We earned this. The special airs tomorrow. We pulled off the impossible. And if you understandably want to spend all your free time with Sam, then bring him along.”
“Fine,” I relent. “Doolies in an hour?”
“Don’t be late!” Alexa squeals before hanging up the call.
I walk into the bedroom to find Sam stretched out on our bed in nothing but his boxers. He’s staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. I slip onto the mattress beside him.
“Alexa wants us to meet her at Doolies in an hour. I told her yes. Figured one drink couldn’t hurt.”
“Sure.” He smiles. “That could be fun.”
“You okay? You were just staring into space.”
“Yeah. Just taking everything in before I leave, I guess.”
I pull him closer towards me.
“I get that. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can cancel. Come up with an excuse.”
“No. Don’t do that. It’ll be fun. We could both use a drink after today.”
He rolls onto his side, his back towards me, and off the bed. He holds out his hand to pull me up and wraps me into a warm embrace once I’m on my feet. Sam’s soft lips touch my cheek, and I hear him whisper, “We’re going to be okay, right?”
I pause for a moment, thinking about what I can say to comfort him. “I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.”
He lets out a huge exhale. As if he’d been holding his breath this entire time. Was he really worried about my answer?
“Let’s go get ready.” He smiles.
We walk into Doolies just in time for the Happy Hour crowds. Luckily, I see Alexa flagging us down from a booth near the back.
“Glad you were able to find a table,” I say, sliding into the seat across from her.
“I got here a little early. Figured I would try to beat the rush.”
“Babe, I’ll go grab our drinks.” Sam leans into me. “Usual?”
“Yes please.” I smile.
“Alexa, can I top you off?”
“I won’t say no to a free drink. Thanks, Sam.”
He turns towards the bar and disappears into the crowd.
“He seems… different.” Alexa nods in the direction Sam is walking.
“We had an interesting afternoon,” I reply.
“Care to elaborate?”
“Nice try. Reporter hat off. Best friend hat on.”
“Fine.” She pouts. “But seriously. Are you good? That’s all I care about.”
“Yeah. I’m not going to say I’m not sad, but honestly, who wouldn’t be in this situation? Even if he had told me three months ago like he should have, deployments are emotionally tough. I’m allowed to be a little sad.”
“Very well-spoken, Miss Russell.”
As Alexa tells me about how she spent her day off at the spa, I glance towards the bar and notice Sam talking to someone. I can’t tell who because the crowds are blocking my view. Once a few people move out of the way, my gut drops.
“Shit,” I mutter.
“What’s up?” Alexa asks, trying to see what I’m looking at.
“Why is Gavin here?”