16. Dani
Dani
As soon as our limo pulls up to the front of Caesars Palace, the nerves hit me like a ton of bricks. In just about two hours, we’ll find out if all our hard work paid off.
I know they say it’s an honor just to be nominated, but screw that. Alexa and I worked our asses off on this. Long nights, impossible deadlines, rewriting scripts until our eyes burned. We made something out of nothing. I want to win.
But it’s more than that. It’s not just about the trophy, or the applause, or hearing our names. It’s about what winning would say to the station—to Mr. White.
What does it mean that Gavin got hired from the outside, while I’m still in the background, putting out everyone’s fires, and building up the station’s success from behind the scenes?
Winning would prove I’m not just the one who keeps things from falling apart. I’m not just the girl who wears a ponytail and says she’s fine when she’s not. I’m someone worth seeing.
So yeah, I want to win. Not only to prove them wrong. But to prove me right.
We’ve got this, I think.
“You feeling alright, Dani? You’re looking a little green,” Alexa says as we make our way through the lobby towards the ballroom.
“Mm-hmm. Never better,” I lie.
“Dani, you’ve never been good at hiding things,” Gavin chimes in. “You’re nervous as hell.”
“Fine. I’m freaking out. Happy?” I hiss.
They both laugh.
As we approach the ballroom doors, Alexa takes my hand and gives it a light squeeze.
“We’ve got this,” she assures me. “Come on! Let’s get in there.”
Gavin holds out both his elbows, gesturing to escort us inside. We each take an arm and make our way inside.
The grand ballroom is dimly lit, with purple and gold lights projecting against the walls.
Dozens of round tables draped in black cloths fill the space, each set to hold ten people.
The tables are neatly covered with silver plates and silverware, wine and water goblets, and purple cloth napkins to match the lighting.
In the front of the room is a stage, with a podium and microphone, so the winners can give their acceptance speeches.
Gavin leads us to the check-in area at the side of the room so we can get our table number. We’re the only ones from KSSD here tonight, so we’re sitting with nominees from a station in Palm Springs.
We make our way to table five, and see the others already seated.
It’s a newscast team nominated together for a breaking news broadcast they did on a huge wildfire.
I remember that fire, and their coverage.
They were on the air nonstop for twenty-seven hours, making sure people knew about evacuation updates and unfortunately, entire neighborhoods that were lost. It was heartbreakingly impressive and extremely well done.
Before Gavin, Alexa, or I can get out a hello, a redheaded woman on the Palm Springs team lets out a small squeal. “Oh my God! I’m so excited you’re sitting with us. I was really hoping to get to meet you tonight.”
The three of us just glance between each other as we take our seats. Alexa speaks up first. “Us?”
“Well, you,” the woman says directly towards Alexa, “but I’m guessing you’re all responsible for the Robert Tate scandal story since you’re here.”
“Oh wow,” I chime in. “You saw our piece?”
“Are you kidding? Everyone in our journalism networking group has been talking about it.”
Alexa’s and my jaws drop. Gavin laughs.
“I’m Sarah, Executive Producer at KRPS in Palm Springs.
” She holds out her hand. We each take turns shaking it before she introduces us to everyone else at the table.
We make small talk for a bit, and I make sure to compliment their amazing fire coverage.
We’ve had to do similar stories in San Diego, but nothing like what they did.
“Thanks,” one of their anchors Jill says. “It wasn’t easy, and at times I honestly wanted to crawl under the table and cry, but I’m glad we were able to help people in some way by getting the information out there.”
“Well, we’re rooting for you guys tonight.” Gavin smiles.
“Can I just say,” Sarah chimes in, facing Alexa, “your interview was absolutely amazing. The way you tripped Tate up and got him to all but admit what he did was one thing, but how the hell did you get that anonymous source to go on camera and show the emails between them?”
“I really want to say I’m just that good,” Alexa says. “But honestly, it was sheer luck. And the whole thing wouldn’t have happened without these two.”
“Well…” I wince, turning to Gavin.
“You are never going to let that go, are you?” He shakes his head.
Sarah leans in towards Alexa. “What’s the story there?”
“Gavin here tried to kill my story.” Alexa grins.
“I did not try to kill it. I just—”
“Yes,” Alexa and I say at the same time, cutting him off.
“—thought a rattlesnake story was more important—and tried to stack it higher in the show and give it more time…” he trails to a whisper.
Gavin’s met by boos and flying napkin balls from the Palm Springs team.
“Am I going to get that reaction every damn time?” he asks.
“I sure hope so,” I laugh, feeling lighter than I have in days.
As we keep talking, I feel my phone buzz in my purse. I pull it out and see Restricted flash on the screen. My heart leaps, knowing this must be Sam.
He did remember!
“Excuse me,” I say to the table. “I need to take this call.”
I quickly make my way outside the ballroom and answer the phone, “Sam?”
“Hey, baby!” he yells. It’s loud from all the military planes behind him.
“Hey! I’m so glad you called. I was worried I wouldn’t hear from you today.” I make my way to a quiet corner away from the entrance so I can hear him better.
“We’ve been doing double patrols the last few weeks. It’s been crazy over here. I only have about two minutes to talk, but I have the funniest story to tell you. My buddy Snapper—”
He’s cut off by the sound of a slot machine alarm going off in the casino down the hall.
“Babe, where are you?” he asks.
“Vegas.”
“Why are you in Vegas?”
“Are you serious?”
“You and Alexa having a girls’ weekend?”
“Sam, it’s the Emmy Awards tonight.” My voice grows in anger. “I told you the date the moment we got nominated and reminded you every call since.”
“No, you didn’t. Are you sure? You’ve been forgetting things a lot lately, haven’t you?” His tone is soft, almost teasing.
“Are you fucking serious? Of course I did. This is the biggest night of my career. There’s no way I wouldn’t have told you.”
“Okay, okay. Calm down,” he says, slow and deliberate. “I get that it matters to you—but are you maybe… blowing this out of proportion? It’s not like it’s the real Emmy Awards. Honestly, Dani, I don’t even know why you’re so worked up over this. You’re making it bigger than it is.”
I can feel my blood boiling. I try to inhale, to steady myself, but it’s useless.
“Sam, I remember every damn thing you’ve told me these past few months. Even when Snapper ran naked through base camp because he found what he thought was a scorpion in his bunk, and it turned out to be a food wrapper.”
“Ha! Classic Snapper,” Sam laughs as if I just told a joke.
“And yet,” I grit out, “when I tell you about the most important moment of my career, you twist it. You make me feel like I’m imagining things. You don’t say ‘good luck’ or ‘I’m proud of you.’ Instead, you make me question myself and then dismiss it like it doesn’t even matter.”
“Dani—”
“No! I can’t believe it took me this long to see it. This has always been one-sided. I’m always here for you, but the second I need your support, you’re gone—or you make me feel insane for expecting anything from you. This is control, Sam. You enjoy making me doubt myself.”
There’s a pause, and I can hear him adjusting, his voice deceptively calm. “D… I have to go. But maybe… try not to take it so seriously. Just… go do your thing, and we’ll talk next call.”
“No. I’m done.”
The line goes quiet for a moment.
“Is this about Gavin?” Sam growls.
“Seriously? No, it’s not about him. For the first time in a very long time, I’m putting me first. My needs. My wants.”
I hear them give the two-minute warning for the start of the awards.
“Sam, I have to go. Please, stay safe. You know I will always care for you. But I know this is the right move—for both of us.”
“This isn’t over, Dani,” he snaps.
“When you get back stateside, we’ll talk if you want, but I don’t see my decision changing. I need to go. Be safe.”
I hang up before he can get another word in.
Nine years. Gone. I should feel shattered.
Maybe I should cry, scream, throw something.
But instead, an unexpected lightness spreads through me.
The weight I’ve carried for so long is gone.
I can finally breathe. If tears come, it will be from relief, not heartbreak.
I shake off the lingering tension and step back toward the ballroom, ready to enjoy the night waiting for me.
I sit back down between Alexa and Gavin and take a large sip of my wine.
“You all good, D?” Alexa asks.
“Yep. Just the nerves kicking back in.”
“Was that Sam?” she follows up.
“Mm-hmm. He says good luck to everyone.”
The mention of Sam’s name has Gavin reaching for his own wineglass.
I’ll tell them, eventually. But tonight, I’m being selfish, and putting me and our big night first. No.
Screw that. This isn’t selfish. That’s nine years of Sam twisting things, making me believe that putting myself first was wrong.
But it’s not. And you know what? He doesn’t get to take this away from me.
Dinner is served and the awards are underway. There are about twenty-five categories to get through, and I’m not sure where ours is in the lineup. The standard newscast awards are handed out first, and our new friends from Palm Springs win their category. I’m hoping their good luck rubs off on us.
“Next is the award for News Special,” says the presenter of the award.
“Ooo, that’s us!” Alexa exclaims.
I straighten in my seat and listen carefully, not to miss anything.
“The nominees are: From KFRM San Luis Obispo, Poison Candy: A Small Town’s War Against Designer Drugs.
From KRWW Las Vegas, Honoring a Hero: A Local Soldier’s Final Journey Home.
From KPTV Palm Springs, Pride: More Than Just a Month.
And From KSSD San Diego, Robert Tate: How Cash and Influence Nearly Brought Down a City. ”
Gavin reaches for Alexa’s and my hands on the table and gives them a squeeze. We wait for the presenter to open the envelope. I know it’s only a few seconds, but it feels like minutes to hear the results. All the air is sucked from my lungs.
Damn, I want this.
“And the winner is… Robert Tate: How Cash and Influence Nearly Brought Down a City!”
“Holy shit!” Alexa screams. She bolts from her seat, bouncing up and down.
I haven’t fully processed what I just heard before she’s pulling me from my chair and wrapping me in a hug.
She lets me go and quickly gives Gavin a hug while I stand there processing.
I look up at the screen on the side of the stage and see clips of our work being shown.
I turn and see Gavin with his arms outstretched.
I fly into his arms without hesitation. His hug is warm and comforting.
Being here with him, and Alexa, is everything I want in this moment.
“I am so beyond proud of you,” he says in my ear, before planting a kiss on my cheek.
I pull back and see the biggest smile on his face. Before I can say anything, Alexa grabs my hand and pulls me towards the stage. As we make our way between the tables, we hear the words I never thought I would, “Accepting this award are Reporter Alexa Li and Executive Producer Danielle Russell.”
Once we make our way up the stage and towards the podium, we are each handed a gold Emmy statute. They look exactly like the ones you see television stars get. Holy shit. I look down at it in awe.
I step aside and let Alexa make her speech first. She thanks her mom and dad, explains how she was inspired to make this whole thing happen, but it’s her final comments that cue my waterworks.
“And to my best friend and producer Dani. This would literally not have been possible without you. You fought for this story when the powers that be and higher-ups said no.”
I glance Gavin’s way at that comment and scrunch my nose at him. He sticks his tongue back at me, causing me to laugh right there in front of everyone.
“You believed in me, and the truth of the story,” Alexa continues.
“Forget that we’re best friends. I know you would have done the same thing for anyone in our newsroom, because that’s the kind of person you are.
You’re someone who believes in fighting for justice and I really believe that’s what we made happen here with this piece.
So, thank you.” She blows me a kiss, and I give her an over-dramatic awe shucks back, which gets us a laugh from the crowd.
She moves away from the podium and gives me a big hug as I take my place in front of the microphone.
“There is a reason I’m behind the camera and not in front of it, so I’ll do my best to keep this brief.
” A few chuckles fill the room. “Thank you to the voting committee for this amazing honor. I’ve been in this business for ten years now, and while that might be peanuts compared to a lot of you here, I am thrilled to say finally!
” I hold up the statue. “But as much as this award is everything I’ve worked towards, Alexa is right, and getting to the truth is the reason we’re even here right now.
” I turn towards Gavin and give him a small smile.
“Eleven years ago, when I was still in college, I met a repairman while I was working in a coffee shop. He saw me studying and asked why I picked journalism. We got to talking, and when he told me about all the hardships he and his brother faced in life, it inspired me to look at journalism in a different way. From that moment on, my answer for becoming a journalist was because I wanted to make sure the little people weren’t stepped on, and the truth always came out.
So, cheers to Robert Tate not stepping on the little people of San Diego. Thank you!”