Chapter 13
“How long?”
“It was two hours,” I said. “It shouldn’t have taken so much time, but the judge was running behind after all the morning ceremonies, and then there was a medical emergency in the building. Everyone was ok, though.”
Kiya shook her head. “They had to stand around and the bride is pregnant? And you were just waiting outside, on the sidewalk?”
It wouldn’t have been so bad, except that Blossom developed a stomach problem.
“I don’t know what that dog had eaten,” I said but Victoria held up her hands and said no.
Like Blossom, she was also feeling ill. She had probably been out the night before and gone a little hard, like Taylor did sometimes.
“I don’t want to hear it,” she announced, so I didn’t talk about dog diarrhea. We were in the lunchroom so it wasn’t a good idea for anyone—I wasn’t hungry myself but most people were here to eat. But Victoria ended up leaving and Kiya told me to continue.
“Ronan kept coming to check on me and then his dad stepped out to talk for a while, too,” I said next.
I hadn’t expected to like that guy and in fact, I had thought that I would more or less hate both of his parents, but I’d found that they were pretty nice people.
They made strange (and poor) choices but they weren’t mean or purposefully cruel, and despite how they might have acted like idiots by not providing well for their two sons or appreciating their achievements, they obviously loved them both.
Of course, it wasn’t enough to love someone and it didn’t excuse you acting like a jerk.
But I could understand a little more why Ronan had a hard time staying mad at them.
Even Cormac had mostly ignored the whole “they brought a stray dog to my wedding” incident, but his bride had obviously been unhappy about it.
After they’d finally had their ceremony, Ronan had left and brought Blossom back to his parents’ RV before rejoining us at the restaurant, and we’d done our best to brush all the fur off his dark suit. That dog was going to be bald soon.
“Ronan owes you,” Kiya told me. “And I bet that after you saved the day, his parents are so happy that you guys are…you know.”
I did know what she meant. “We’re not together and he doesn’t owe me. He was grateful, though.”
He had been so grateful that I was almost embarrassed.
He’d acted like I deserved an award for standing on the sidewalk for a while with a dog.
“I’m fine,” I had calmly assured him every time he’d come outside.
He’d given me his suit jacket to wear because I had started to shiver—it was much colder, but I’d been all right.
Of course, my calm demeanor had disappeared when Blossom had started to suffer from her digestive problems. Those were not fine and had been disgusting to deal with, and I’d attracted a lot of angry attention from other pedestrians.
“This is not my dog and I don’t have any way to clean it up,” I’d said a least twenty times.
They hadn’t been sympathetic and I’d been pretty angry with Margaret and Gerald when the family had finally emerged from the building.
I’d also met Ronan’s brother and new wife for the first time while arguing with a yet another passer-by about the mess “my” dog was making.
Margaret had explained that these problems were new, they hadn’t given anything weird to Blossom, and she was so sorry.
Then she’d taken over the dog and I’d abstained from shaking hands with the bride, just in case.
Taylor wanted to check on Victoria and Kiya needed to return to her office, so the three of us left the lunchroom. I went back to my own desk and brooded instead of being productive, and then at five, I gratefully left and went to the place that I liked best.
“Stop arguing, because I do owe you for how you helped with that damn dog at the wedding,” Ronan said to me again over dinner at his table. “What do you want? A diamond tiara? A trip to Fiji?”
“Are you really offering those things?”
“No, but how about an oil change?” he suggested. “Because I owe you.”
“You don’t. But it wasn’t fun and I decided that I don’t want to get a pet, at least for a while,” I said. I took a bite, thought about the Chicago sidewalk, then had to force myself to swallow. I didn’t pick up my fork again, since I wasn’t overly hungry anyway.
“How were you going to get a pet? You said you can’t in your apartment.”
“Well, I could move,” I answered. “My lease is up pretty soon.”
“I also remember you saying that you were never going to move. You loved that place.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s ok.”
“Is something wrong? Not with the apartment, but with you today?”
“I’ve been thinking about my dad since this is the date he died last year,” I said.
He also put down his fork. “Are you serious? One year ago, today?”
I nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“I don’t know. It’s not something I’m celebrating or trying to get sympathy for. It seemed weird to bring it up and I didn’t think I would be so…” I tried to label what, exactly, I was at this moment. “I’m so…”
“Sad?”
“No.” I thought about what happened when you walked into still water, how muck or sand could swirl so that the clarity clouded.
“Stirred up,” I said. “Disturbed. I don’t miss him as a person because we never got along.
When I texted him about my college graduation and he said he was sick, it was the first time we had talked in years.
He figured that once I was living on my own, we didn’t need to keep up with each other.
But his death was hard in a general way, like that I was losing another connection.
I don’t have much family—I stayed with my aunt and my cousin one summer, but we don’t talk anymore. ”
“What you just said is reason enough to be sad, if you are.”
Maybe I was. I had been moping around since we’d returned from Chicago, although the dinner there had been nice and the flight home had been smooth. I was glad that I went, if only because I’d been able to handle that dog situation.
“I wish you told me before and I wish I’d thought about the timeline based on the stuff you did tell me. Can I do anything to make you feel better now?” Ronan asked.
I shook my head. “No, thanks.” I didn’t enjoy talking about things like this, feelings and things, because putting them out in the open never seemed to solve any problems. People tended to get mad or uncomfortable.
Right now, he seemed more sympathetic than annoyed, but I remembered how I’d worn out my welcome with that aunt and cousin. No one liked a moper.
But I was acting that way without being able to really stop myself, which was weird for someone who could disguise her emotions as I could.
The Woodsmen were playing at home, midweek, which meant that he would be going to sleep at the hotel tomorrow night and we wouldn’t be having dinner together.
And Ed had taken a short vacation to visit his daughter, whom I hadn’t even known about.
I’d never asked him about his family and I felt bad about that, too.
Our conversations had been limited to issues with Ronan’s career and the problems at the practice facility.
Anyway, I didn’t have good seats for this game because I hadn’t bothered Annie Whitaker-Gassman again, so I’d be up near the stars (it was at night) and also sitting by myself without Ed. That was what I’d planned for, until Ronan suggested something different.
“I got you a ticket for Wednesday,” he mentioned as we cleared the table.
“What does that mean?”
“Let’s start with the basics. I play football and we’re having a game,” he said, and I poked his stomach.
It felt like poking steel but he grimaced and then rubbed the spot, as if I’d severely injured him.
“Never mind, I’m taking back the ticket and giving it to a woman who doesn’t turn to violence.
” But then he hugged me, and honestly, I’d been wanting this for a while.
All the moping and all the feelings had been wearing on me, so I leaned against him and let him pet my hair.
“No, I guess I’ll give it to you,” he said. “I like you even if you do have sharp fingers. You can sit in the stands in the same place where some of the other guys have their seats. Remember Xavier Hurley? You kind of met him in Utah, although you were upset at that moment.”
I remembered him a little from that day, but I definitely knew him as one of the starting cornerbacks. “Yes,” I said. “What about him?”
“His mom was going to come but she can’t, so he has an extra ticket and you can have it. It’s next to his wife and she wants to meet you.”
“Are you trying to make friends for me?”
“Yes,” he said. “I think it will work, too, because I’m so damn sneaky about things. You’ll never guess my ulterior motive.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“To make you happy, because I like it when you smile. Hell’s bells, I went ahead and told you,” he lamented. “But you can still sit next to Morgan and have a good time, and you’ll be able to see the action without binoculars. I promise that I’ll play well.”
Did he think that I was disappointed in him? “You don’t have to promise that,” I said. “I already know you will.”
“Are you crying?”
I was, but I didn’t want to talk about it.
He moved a little, like he might have been about to let go, but I hung on tighter so we stayed there hugging with the dishes stacked in his sink.
Then he suggested that I’d feel better if we sat on the couch and watched film on his Woodsmen tablet.
It really just meant him watching, but he kept his arm around me, and I closed my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Kiya asked me the next day at lunch. “You’re too pale again.”
Victoria was napping at her desk but Taylor was here to chime in. She leaned closer and studied me. “Yep, your eyes are swollen. Why were you crying?”
“What did he do?” Kiya demanded, and Tay clenched up her fist.