2. Travis
TWO
TRAVIS
I sat on the lounger outside, staring out across the ocean, the sun warming my skin, the sunglasses I’d unhooked from my t-shirt, giving me a barrier from the world. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there before a shadow fell over me.
“Sorry.”
I didn’t look up. “For what, Professor? Insulting your life’s work or telling me what we do here isn’t grown up enough.”
“I’m a dick.”
“Yeap.” I brought my knees up to my chest, so there was room for him to sit on the end, wondering if the fact we’d only ever brought one seat out here was actually a sign that Jas was never meant to stick around.
He sat side on, giving me a view of his profile. That slightly crooked nose from where one of his brothers punched him as a kid and broken it, the curve of his Cupid’s bow I dreamt about tracing, the sandy-coloured beard that was in desperate need of a trim, and that neck, where his pulse hammered invitingly, begging for someone to press their lips to it.
“Do you ever just feel like you can’t do this?” he asked quietly as he stared out at the horizon.
I pushed my sunglasses onto the top of my head, not caring when the light blinded me, my attention fixed on Jas. “Do what?”
He let out a hollow laugh. “Life. I mean, knowing what to do, making the right choices?”
I dropped my legs on either side of the bench, shifting closer to him.
“Jasper, look at me.”
When he didn’t, I cupped his cheek, turning his face to mine. He was so close that I could feel his warm breath on my lips.
“You’re freaking me out, I’m not going to lie,” I told him. His behaviour had been off for weeks, months even. But today. Right now. I was really concerned.
His eyes locked on mine, letting me see the dark circles that shaded them and the flecks of gold in his light brown irises that the sun bounced off like shards of priceless metal.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I dropped my hand from his face, placing it on his knee, letting my thumb skim under the jersey material of his shorts. “No one really does. We’re all just winging it, but this place, Jas. What you’ve done here... what you’re going to be doing, is nothing short of spectacular.”
He huffed. “Work is easy. It all makes so much sense, but everything else...”
“You wanna talk it through?” I rubbed my thumb in circles, trying to soothe the unhappy expression on his face.
Shaking his head, he replied. “No, but thank you. I know I’ve been a lot lately. Grumpy, snappy, distracted.”
“Aren’t you always all those things?” My lips curved into a smile as my grip on Jasper’s thigh tightened.
“You’re a cheeky fucker.”
I dipped my head in a nod of agreement. “It’s why you love me.”
I didn’t realise that my hand had edged higher until Jas let out a soft moan as I kneaded his thigh.
I softened my tone, hating that he seemed to be hurting so much, and I had no idea why. “Seriously, though, life is what you want it to be. You have the world at your feet. In fact, you have the world’s oceans at your feet. You can do anything, be anything you want to be. If you’re not happy with any part of it, you get to change it. You just don’t get to give up on it. Understand?” My voice had dropped, dominance hanging in the words.
“You sound so bossy.”
I winked. “You have no idea.”
Jasper shuddered, and his eyes fluttered closed for a second before he snapped them back open, his cheeks turning pink.
I leant back, my palm tingling from where I’d been touching him. I was walking a thin line; I knew that. The impending deadline for our time together making me reckless.
“Shall we get back to work?” He pointed at the office behind us. The place we’d spent almost five years together. The place I was about to run by myself. The place I couldn’t imagine being in without him.
He held out his hand, and I took it, letting him pull me up until we were standing toe to toe.
“Yes, Professor.”
“Fuck off with that name.”
“I could call you Aquaman.”
He glared at me before his lips curled into a rare smile, the dimple in his cheek popping, making him look even sexier than his usual level of hotness.
“Well, I was going to let you play on the boat tomorrow, but now I’m not sure.”
“The new submersible?” Excitement flooded my words because that amazing thing arrived days ago, and Jasper hadn’t let me take it out until he could come along as well.
I pushed out my bottom lip, pouting, and he rolled his eyes.
“Work, Trav.”
I nodded, and he turned, but I wrapped my hand around his wrist to make him wait. “You haven’t answered my question, Jas. Are you okay? Should I be worried about you? You know, you can tell me anything.”
He offered me a half smile and a nod that didn’t reassure me in the slightest.
* * *
Headphones in, music turned up loud, I put the knife down and scooped up the veggies I’d chopped and threw them into the salad. A hand wrapped around my hip as fingers pulled out the AirPod, making me scream with shock.
“What ya doing?” Jasper whispered in my ear.
I spun around, realising that I was caged in, trapped between the counter and his arms and chest, which were currently covered in a tight white t-shirt, that showed off his tanned skin and the sleeve of sea-themed tattoos that ran from his collarbone to his wrist of his right arm. Mermaids, a ghost ship, fish; the man had it all.
I looked up, my heart hammering from the shock. “What the fuck, Jas? I could have stabbed you.”
“I waited until you put the knife down. You were having a proper little disco while you chopped.” He seemed different. Playful. It had been a while since I’d seen him like this.
“How long have you been standing there?” I asked, taking my other AirPod out and putting it on the side.
“Probably for about three songs, if those move changes were anything to go by.” He held up the headphone he was still holding, listening to what was playing, chuckling as he cocked his brow at me. “ Taylor Swift ? Really?”
I slapped his chest, staring up at him, giving myself a second to dream about what life could be like. Where Jas and I were like this every day: working together, living together, me cooking for him, curling up on the sofa together, me bending him over the counter and fucking him until he came, screaming my name.
And there it was.
The slight blip in mine and Jasper’s otherwise perfect relationship.
I was in love with my best friend.
My best friend who was moving back to the UK.
My very straight, and not at all interested in me in that way, best friend.