9. Jasper
NINE
JASPER
My leg bounced under my desk as Finn leant over me, moving my mouse and highlighting how his new systems worked and how to find the data and files I’d need.
What he’d achieved in the week he’d worked for me was nothing short of spectacular, but that wasn’t what had me feeling like this. No, what had me on edge was... well, everything else.
I sucked in a deep breath, regretting it instantly as the fresh, citrusy scent of Finn’s aftershave wrapped around me. It was just another reminder of how much my new PA seemed to be affecting me. Those long fingers, how perfectly turned out he always was, his calming nature, the way he laughed, those emerald-green eyes that didn’t shy away when we spoke. Finn might be smaller than me in stature, but he was a giant in every other way. He exuded confidence, and being around him seemed to be rubbing off on me, as I was almost starting to feel like I was getting the hang of this job.
“Got it?” he asked.
I looked up as he looked down, and there was a moment where we simply stared at each other and the world stopped turning. He licked his lips, and I forced myself to swallow.
“Professor?” He placed his hand on my shoulder, and his touch seared through me, sparking a memory of the last man who’d touched me. Travis.
I shook my head because I couldn’t think about him without it filling me with guilt.
“Yes, got it. I’ll go through it all again, and if I’ve got questions, I let you know.”
He stepped away from the desk. “Perfect. I have to go, as I need to be somewhere. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He walked to my office door.
“Finn.”
He turned, bringing his fingers to his hair as if he was checking it was still in place after his sudden movement.
“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
A blush spread up his cheeks before he offered me a nod and left.
Alone in the office, I stared out of the window at the view of the city, watching as people went about their evening, going home to family, meeting up with friends. I was going home to an empty place, and that was all my doing.
I gathered up my things to go do something I should have done as soon as I stepped foot back on UK soil.
* * *
“Hey, Ma.”
My mum stood in the open doorway of her house, her mouth open as she stared at me, and then, like a switch had been flicked, she burst into tears and screamed my name.
She closed the space between us, flinging her arms around me, pulling me into her familiar hold. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I kissed her cheek, knowing she’d not be as happy when she found out I’d been back in the UK for almost two weeks now, and I’d not even told them I was planning on coming back.
“Come on, come in. Tell me everything. Your brothers and Jax are here, too. We’ve just had dinner. Are you hungry? I can make you something.”
I laughed, stepping out of her hold. “I just came to see you. I don’t need you to cook me anything, although I’d kill for a cuppa.”
She moved back, giving me space to step inside. I’d never lived in this house; she bought it after she divorced my dad, but everything about it felt like her... warm, welcoming, safe. I let out a contented sigh as she stared, taking me in. After a moment, she shook her head and wiped the tears from her face.
“It’s good to see you, Jasper.” Her smile was warm, despite how watery her eyes still were. “How long are you back for?”
I pushed my hands into my pockets, feeling as nervous and unsure as when I’d told her I was thinking of accepting the job in Ecuador. “For good.”
She tucked her caramel hair behind her ear, her forehead crinkling. Really?”
“Yeap. I got a new job.”
“Ma, did you want…” My youngest brother, Callam, appeared in the doorway, our eyes locking. “Jesus. Jas?”
“Oh, my god... did you spend the last five years in the gym?” I gasped as I took in my brother, who seemed to have doubled in width since the last time I’d seen him in person. I poked him in the chest when I got closer. He looked down at himself and shrugged before raising his gaze. “You can talk. We’ve all seen how buff you are these days, Aquaman. ”
I shook my head, my cheeks heating at the reference. I’d known about the photos hitting the papers and gossip magazines, but then Finn showed me the websites and the fanfiction people were writing—actual stories about me meeting mermaids, getting shipwrecked with hot pirates. It was ridiculous, and I’d told him that. I was just a marine biologist doing my job, but the internet seemed to have other ideas about what, or who, I was doing.
“Shut up,” I replied, making my mum scowl as she looked between us both.
“It’s not even been five minutes and you’re fighting,” she said on a sigh, before winking in my direction and pointing to the newly extended living room. “Look who I found loitering outside,” she yelled as I headed into the room to be met by my other brother, Conner, and Jax.
Swallowing down the pit of dread that suddenly appeared in my chest, I stepped into the room, hugging my family hello, all while hoping I didn’t fall apart and show them just how crappy I felt these days.