13. Travis
THIRTEEN
TRAVIS
Jasper: Look, I know you hate me for leaving like I did, but just talk to me.
Jasper: Please.
Jasper: I’ve just seen the spec for the new research boat. Do you want to help me crew it to her new home?
Jasper: Yes, I’ve stooped that low. I’m offering you new toys if you’ll talk to me.
Jasper: You must really hate me if that didn’t get a reaction.
Jasper: Did I mention it has a new submersible on it? She can go to 4000 meters. You’d be the first to use it.
Jasper: I miss you.
Jasper: I’ve got a new assistant. Finn Wells. I think you’d like him.
Jasper: I got your leave request. Three weeks. You’ve not had a holiday in years. Where are you going? Asking as your friend. Not your boss.
Jasper: We’re still friends, aren’t we?
Jasper: I hate not talking to you. If I could do my leaving Ecuador again, I would have done it differently. Leaving you was hard, but I did it all wrong. I was just feeling... I don’t know how to explain.
Jasper: Talk to me. Please.
Jasper: I can’t lose you.
I sat at the airport, my headphones blasting while I stared at the text messages from Jas. Texts that had gone unanswered over the last few weeks. My thumb hovered over the screen, wondering if I should just block him, but I needed to contact him when I’d got a new job set up. I had a plan. Interview, find somewhere to live, quit my job. I had thought about quitting over email—that was the sensible thing to do. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to see Jas face to face, but I needed closure. I needed him to know how much he’d hurt me and how angry I was with him. I couldn’t work with him, knowing he was there, getting on with his life. Seeing him on videocalls, having to talk to him. The pain of him leaving had sliced me open, changed me. And I couldn’t... wouldn’t put myself through any more of his bullshit.
I rubbed my hand over my chest, trying to ease the ache that lived there permanently these days. One I hoped would ease with a new job and a life without Jasper Fischer in it. Turning my phone off, I threw it into my bag just as the departure board announced my flight to England.
Before I boarded, I looked out of the window one last time at a place I’d called home for years. A place where I got to explore the ocean every day; the place where I fell in love, and the place where I had my heart ripped to pieces.