Chapter 30
Day Ten
I squint at the slant of moonlight forcing its way around a gap in the curtains. It illuminates the relaxed face of the woman sleeping beside me. Her hair is a mess, tangled across the pillow. My fault, but I’m not sorry, remembering the feel of those dark shiny strands twisted in my hands while she knelt in front of me, her beautiful mouth working me into a frenzy. My dick gives a sudden, immediate lurch. That part of me is never satisfied, especially not when the source of so much pleasure is pressed against me, that curvy wee arse, so ripe and peachy. I am so fucking gone for this woman. And not only because she let me use my body—my hands, my mouth and my eager cock all for her—to try and blot out all memory of the douchebag who didn’t deserve her .
I want it all with Haley. Not just the sex, although I’d happily take that again right now if she wakes up with the need. But what I want with Haley are big things—a life, a home, a future—things I’m not sure I deserve with her, but I want them more than anything, ever. And I’m going to work my arse off to show her why she should want them with me, too.
Shifting my weight carefully, trying not to disturb her, I reach behind me for my phone. Fuck, it’s almost seven. I feel guilty knowing she’ll soon need to be up for work. I hate the thought of having to wake her, knowing I’m responsible for the fact she’s facing Monday morning with barely four hours sleep. But, remembering how we spent those hours between stumbling in from the gardens and eventually falling into exhausted sleep, I don’t regret it and I don’t think she will either.
I’ve still got the smile of a satisfied man on my face. It’s as if on the stroke of midnight, sweet little Haley’s naughty twin came out to play and fuck if she isn’t fun to be with. Making her come, shatter into little pieces in my arms while I watched her face in the mirror, was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I told her so and then got her to do it all over again twice more just to prove it.
She stirs with a small kitten-like mewl and stretches her arms.
“God, I wish I didn’t have go to work.” She twists to press her body against me and buries her head into my neck. “Not when I’m in bed with such a good snuggler.”
“A good snuggler? Is that all?” Her breasts crushed against my chest feel so damn good, the peaks of her nipples erect and tempting.
“Nope. I think you’ve proved you are rather good at a lot of things.” Her giggle tickles my shoulder. “But a snuggle is all I’ve got time for. ”
“Are you sure? I can be very quick as well as good.”
“Hmm.” She hums against my skin. “I definitely need a shower. Can’t go to work reeking of you.”
“We could save time by taking a shower together?”
Laughter bursts from her. “Nice try, but no.” She shimmies up the bed and places pliant lips against mine, offering a kiss as her final word on the subject. “You stay here.”
The sounds of her getting ready for work—the hum of the shower, the buzz of her hairdryer, the hiss of the coffee machine, her chatter to the dogs—are like a piece of music I could listen to on repeat forever. And it’s within my reach to capture it. I know it is.
Before she leaves, she slips back into the room, perching beside me on the bed. Her newly-washed hair caught up in a ponytail, that green-apple shampoo in a cloud, her face fresh and shiny, and the smell of her floral perfume as she leans in to kiss me—it’s like a waking dream.
“See you around five-thirty, yeah?”
“I’ll be waiting right here.”
“Oh, could you put the bin out? It’s our collection day.”
“Sure. Anything else you need me to do?”
“Cook me up another one of those dinners.”
“Yeah, I thought I’d do tacos.”
The conversation is mundane, like we’re an old married couple with our daily routines. This is what it would be like to be with her. There’s a simple beauty in it, the hint of a life that could be ours.
“Mmm, now you’re talking my language. I’ll be thinking about them all day.”
“And I’ll be thinking about you all day. ”
She gives me one last peck on my hungry lips, and slowly pulls her hand away from where it’s wrapped in mine, stretching out her leaving that moment longer, as if she regrets she can’t stay. I regret it too.
The moment I step out of the bathroom, an hour after Haley’s gone, I have a sense someone is in the house. There’s a presence in the otherwise silent rooms. The dogs are still out back on squirrel patrol. I gave up trying to trick the little shits into coming inside before I jumped in the shower. They’re too obsessed with staking out the tree to worry about the cold. If they’re not concerned about sitting out there without their cutesy Christmas jackets, then neither am I. So it’s not them filling the empty space.
I refasten the towel around my hips and edge towards the kitchen. My bare feet are cold and silent as I pad down the wooden floor of the passageway. I’m almost at the kitchen door, when there’s the scrape of a chair and muted footsteps headed my way.
I startle as a tiny figure appears in the doorway, silhouetted against the glare.
“Samantha?” My hands reflexively drop to protect my crotch, while my balls shrink at the sight of her, desperate to hide. I wouldn’t put it past Sam to knee me in the groin just because I looked at her the wrong fucking way. Rachel might appear scary, but this is the one to watch out for.
“You know you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that, Christian? Lucky I knew it was you or…”
“Don’t tell me—or you’d have slammed me onto the ground and broken my arm again.”
“I didn’t break your arm,” she protests. The barely suppressed curve of her mouth suggests she’s not the least bit sorry .
“Might have fucking well broken it. It hurt for two days.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, but her grin argues otherwise. “But if it was broken, it would hurt for more than two days. Anyway, now I know who you are, I won’t do it again. Promise. Besides, I don’t think Haley would like it if I damaged her new toy.”
I narrow my eyes, and a flush rises up my neck. Seems like girl-code demands you spill all the details.
“She told us things had got—”
“I let her climb all over me like ivy. Just like I heard someone else say they might like to do.” I fire her words of last week right back at her with an arch of my brow. Now it’s Sam’s turn to blush all the way to the roots of her ponytail. Trust her to be still groomed to military grade neat even after an all-night shift. I’m pleased to have ruffled her cool exterior. “Do you have a problem with that?”
To her credit, she gathers herself to all of her five-foot-nothing and shoots me a glare.
“If you hurt her, I do have a problem. She might have only confessed to losing her clothes and joining you in the no pants dance, but I know Haley—she doesn’t do casual sex. There are feelings involved here.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
While I wasn’t expecting to be interrogated by Haley’s friends so soon after we’d crossed into this territory, Sam’s warning makes me want to fist pump the air. Whatever Haley told them this morning, confirms last night was more than an impulsive hookup for her, more than just sex. But her protective friends—and I’m pleased she’s got them looking out for her—need to know it was more than that for me, too .
I saunter past her into the kitchen, dragging a coffee mug towards me. Sam settles herself on a high stool and glares at me across the counter. I take a deep breath. It’s confession time for me as well.
“I’ve got some pretty big feelings for her, too. Did she tell you that?”
“She didn’t need to. Haley never jumps into bed with guys unless she thinks the feeling’s mutual. Even that creep of an ex, Jack, cared about her at the start. Just not enough to keep his dick to himself. You know about him and Paige, right?”
My blood seethes at the mention of their names. “Yeah. Maybe you should show me some of your Krav Maga moves in case I run into the guy.”
She snorts out a laugh. “Jack would take one look at you…” She scans me from head to toe, daring to admire my bulky arms and chest with her gaze. “And he’d run a mile.” Her smile slips away. “He hurt Haley so badly, I thought he’d broken her for good. Taken away her ability to trust anyone, to even consider a relationship. But, for some reason, she trusts you.”
“And she can.” I want to say more. Fuck it. I wish I could just lay it out there for everyone to know—tell the world I am in love with Haley Templeton, and that is why I can be trusted not to destroy her beautiful heart. However, I need her to hear those words from me first. I can’t spill them now simply to ward off a Sam-attack.
“And can she trust you to protect her? From all the crap?” she says, mouth full of cookie. “Like the stuff that happened to Ollie?” Of course Sam would know about Ollie. He’s her brother from another mother .
I hesitate. What the fuck can I say? I’ll do my best. Put her first. But the truth is there’s no guarantee, and Haley knows it as well as I do. Probably Sam does too.
“She can trust me to do everything in my power. But I’m not going to lie to you—that might not be enough.” Dark eyes flash a warning. “But Haley and I have talked about this, Sam. While I might not be able to prevent it, we can be ready for it. Together. And that could be enough.”
Sam gives a disgruntled huff, snatching at the cookie jar on the counter and helping herself to another one. She munches away thoughtfully while I wrangle the coffee machine.
“It better be, Christian. Haley gets hurt like Ollie did, and I swear I’ll kill you.”
“You’ll have to beat Rachel to it. That’s pretty much what she said.” I shake my head. “I can’t understand how someone as sweet as Haley has such vicious friends.”
“It’s because she is so sweet she needs us to look out for her.”
“Fair enough.” I can’t really argue with that. “Want a coffee?”
“Nah, thanks, but caffeine’s not the best idea right now.” She stifles a yawn. “Need to get home to bed.”
“Well, this has been nice,” I say. “Sweet dreams.”
With Sam’s departure, it’s back to just me and the two dogs. Despite my bravado with the ninja nurse, her visit unsettles me. I’ve never considered myself worthy of Haley, and it’s as if Sam and Rachel can see it. No matter how much I argue otherwise, they talk as if it’s inevitable I fuck this up. The pair of them waiting in the wings, poised to pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong. Can they see some flaw in me? I try and push my gnawing doubt aside and settle back into my Haley-recommended reading .
After an hour, I toss down the book, feeling my inadequacy compared to these fictional guys who seem to have all the right words, with their fancy declarations of love. Meanwhile, I struggle to think how I can tell Haley how much she means to me without scaring her off. After all, we’ve come a long way in a week and I don’t want to push it too far, but I don’t want to lose her.
The house is lonely without Haley in it. She takes her Christmas playlist with her, and much as I tease her about it, I miss it. Miss her. I pick up my guitar and go back to the song I worked on the other day. Is this a song for Haley? Yes. Is this a Christmas song? Maybe. Am I sorry about that? Not at all.