Chapter 33
Day Eleven
I wish I could stop time. Or at least slow it down. Tuesday is all but over, day eleven complete. We’re hurtling towards the end of my twelve-day sentence and my vision of what comes next is blurry. The day after tomorrow I’m allowed to leave, go home to my apartment, and go back to my old life. A life I don’t want anymore because she wasn’t in it.
While the days are quiet here, with Haley at work—honestly, if it wasn’t for the dogs, they’d be boring as shit—I have to admit I’m enjoying lazing around. Coming off the back of the insane schedule of our North American tour straight into Wild For The Win , I arrived in Scotland exhausted, although prepared to tough it out to win the money. But I can’t say I’m not pleased with the unexpected consequences of the Scottish disaster. This chance to step off the treadmill that is life in the band was a gift I didn’t know I needed.
And then, there’s the best gift of all, the thing I’ve needed all my life: her. Beside me in bed each morning, sleepy limbs draped across me. Kisses that flutter like feathered wings following the lines of my tattoos, pausing to tease at my neck, provoking a shiver of arousal.
Bustling through the doorway every evening, her face rosy with the cold, buzzing like an excited kid with stories of her day, the people she’s met, the animals she’s helped. And the sad stories too, told with compassion in her green eyes, sorrow when the vet team has failed to summon a miracle.
Fussing over her dogs like a mother hen, putting their needs ahead of her own, showing the pure, undiluted goodness that is Haley Templeton. I love watching their joyful worship of her.
Dinners together, seeing her delight in the food I’ve prepared for her, like the chow mein she’s tucking into now, are one of the best parts of my day. Caring for her isn’t entirely unselfish. It brings me pleasure to offer whatever I can to make her day better. And I want to do that every day. But we only have one more.
“So, what happens after tomorrow?” It’s as if Haley can read my mind. She tosses the question at me casually, seeming more intent on pursuing a piece of carrot round and round her plate, stabbing at it with an unruly pair of chopsticks.
“Nothing. Unless you plan to kick me out.”
She snorts a laugh. “Why would I do that? And go back to cooking my own dinners?”
“Good to know my plan to make myself indispensable has worked. The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. ”
“Well, this woman anyway.” She pops a chunk of chicken into her mouth, casting me a sheepish look from beneath dark lashes. “Although I’m rather attached to some of your other practical skills.”
Her mouth slants in a sly smile, although she blushes at her innuendo. Haley is so damn cute when she slips into sexy banter, a good girl venturing across the line on a dare and then scurrying back as if unsure whether it’s safe to let me glimpse the temptation to be wicked she normally holds in check behind her sweet, innocent face.
“Seriously, Christian,” she says, while not looking at all serious, lips curling up at the edges. “Stay. At least till the last of this mess is over.”
“And then?” I’m struggling to hold back the neediness in my voice.
“And then we figure it out together. I mean, it’s kind of back to front. People generally don’t move in together first and then start dating.”
“You want to go on dates? Damn, I thought I was off the hook.” I love teasing her.
“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?” Her brows raise and she tilts her head in a quizzical look, just like one of her dogs.
“You might change your mind when you see what dates with me are like.”
“Believe me, I have very low expectations. Let me tell you about some of my dates.” She leans forward, propping her chin on one curled hand, mouth tipped up in a bemused smile.
“Is this going to make me feel inadequate?”
“Unlikely. I did say low expectations.”
“OK. Tell me what I’m up against. ”
“First there was Jared. Got it into his head we should go up the London Eye, as I’d never been. Forgot to mention he had a fear of heights. Ended up on the floor of the pod, curled like a limp pretzel, while I sat there pretending it’s totally normal to be having a conversation with a guy lying at my feet.”
“First and last date?” I grin at her.
She nods and rolls her eyes. “Absolutely. How the hell did I get tangled up with a dickhead like that?”
I’m as mystified as she is.
“Then there was Josh.” She huffs out a sigh. “We went to a French restaurant in Soho. Very nice. Except he insisted on hogging the menu and ordering for us both, even though he had terrible French. Oddest meal I’ve ever eaten. Then to top it off, he’d forgotten his credit card, so I ended up with the whole bill.”
“You’re safe with me. Don’t really like French food.”
“As for the last one, Julian—invited me over for dinner, then fed me frozen pizza while expecting I’d find it absolutely riveting to watch him playing online games against a twelve-year-old in Atlanta.”
“Haley, stick with me and you’ll be fine,” I tease. “I think I have exactly what you need to break the bad date curse.”
“What?” Her eyes crinkle at the edges.
“A name that doesn’t start with J.”
“Of course! How come I never worked that out for myself? Just think of all the shitty dates I could have avoided.”
She laughs, and I join in, although I immediately feel regret at pointing it out, considering the ‘J’ man she hasn’t mentioned: Jack, who did a lot worse than take her on a shitty date. I decide it might be better to get it out in the open. Ask her about him—and then bury all mention of the bastard once and for all.
“And Jack too,”
“Jack too,” she repeats, her voice quiet. “If only I’d known what I know now—don’t trust a dentist.”
“A dentist?” More evidence of what a prick he is. Surely there’s some code of ethics—like a doctor—that says a dentist shouldn’t hit on their patients?
“Yeah. Not mine.” She’s read the distaste in my expression. “Jack was Ollie’s dentist.”
“Really?” My brows raise again in disbelief. How is it I never knew this? But then, Ollie always plays family stuff close to his chest. Especially where Haley’s concerned.
“Yeah, really. A pretty good one, actually. That’s why he’s so loaded. You know how dentists charge.” That also explains why the bastard’s got that toothy movie star smile I’d like to mess up with my fist. “We were at the pub one night—me, Ollie, Sam, a few others. Anyway, Jack was there. He came up to talk to Ollie, joined us in the booth. At the end of the night, he asked me if I’d like to go out for dinner sometime. He seemed nice.” She blinks and swallows. “He was nice. Until he wasn’t.”
At the hurt in her voice, I change the subject. There’s another tricky one we need to address. Might as well deal with that, too.
“Haley, there is a problem with dating me.” I have to remind her. It’s not fair to let her stumble into this blind. “Those dates might have been awful, but I bet none of them resulted in your picture plastered all over the tabloids captioned with bitchy remarks about your hair and clothes. You know it could get ugly?”
She nods. “I know.”
And she really does. Haley’s not only had a front-row seat to the ugliness, watching the girls who’ve gone down this road before her—Waverley and Kendra, Garrett’s wife Liv, Teddy’s stream of girlfriends—all paying the price for attaching themselves to a guy in a famous rock band. She’s also had a backstage pass, seeing firsthand through Ollie’s distress the damage it does to the man as well.
She inhales a deep breath, as if already steeling herself, and sighs. “Guess it’s time to put aside any insecurities I have about myself.”
“Yeah, it is.” I lace my hand through hers. “But that’s not the worst of it. You’re going to have to trust me. Promise me you won’t doubt me when you’re bombarded with lurid and untrue details about every other woman your boyfriend’s so much as stood beside in a queue at the checkout, whether it was last week or years ago.”
“Yeah.” A swallow ripples down her slender throat. “You might need to help me with that one. Up till now, I haven’t exactly had the best outcome from trusting people.”
I offer a reassuring squeeze of my hand. “I get it. But I promise you, Haley, this boyfriend is not like him, OK?”
“Boyfriend.” It comes out softly, as if she’s trying out the sound of the word. In her tone, and those wide mossy eyes, I can’t read whether the title of boyfriend, and all the expectation that comes with it, holds attraction or triggers reluctance. I blunder on.
“Well, I assume, since you’ve told people you’re my girlfriend, that makes me your boyfriend, right?” Her slight nod is encouraging, and I take her free hand, so small in mine. With one finger, I circle her tiny palm in nervous spirals. My voice comes out low, hesitant, wary. “And I want to be, Haley. Exclusive. No one else. Are you OK with that? ”
There’s a brick in my throat I can’t swallow down waiting for her answer. There’s no one else for me. Hasn’t been anyone for so long, as if I created this space for Haley, knowing the time would come for her to fill it.
For her, this thing’s so new. I don’t really have any right to ask the same of her in return, but I need to know—badly. If she says no, and she wants to see other people, I think I’ll lose my mind. The thought of her smiling that smile for some other guy, treating him to the music of her laughter, letting him put his hands on her, his mouth…
“There’s no one else. I don’t want there to be anyone else.” Green eyes meet mine, soft and true. “Let’s do this. Boyfriend. Girlfriend.” She points a finger between us. “You and me.”
Perfect answer. I slide from my seat and make my way to wrap my arms around my girlfriend. I inhale the sweet smell of her as I nuzzle into her neck.
“Sounds like I better get busy planning our first date. First impressions and all that.”
“No time for that now,” she says, whisking away my empty plate and stacking her own on top. “We’ve got a different sort of date tonight, remember?”
I groan, regretting my earlier moment of weakness. How could I have said anything but yes, when she called this afternoon, for the first time phoning me rather than sending a text? The sound of her words coming down the line was like a banquet laid out in front of a starving man, and I fell upon it gratefully, agreeing to her request without a thought. I can’t refuse this girl anything, although tonight part of me wishes I could.