Chapter 27
They left at seven the next morning, rising early and sharing a quick breakfast with Cat and Joe before leaving for Thistledown.
But it wasn’t a goodbye, simply a goodbye for now, and both women knew that Gemma would be back in touch the minute she had any news, mobile signal notwithstanding.
They hugged, long and hard – with Cat batting away Gemma’s grateful thanks without a second thought.
The hardest part was saying goodbye to Leo – temporarily – as each of them journeyed back to the farm alone; Leo in his van and Gemma in her tiny hatchback.
The drive would have been the perfect opportunity for her to share her thoughts with Leo and ask for his views.
She was still very aware that her ideas about the future of the farm were not yet fully formed and, now that they were on their way back, the clock had started ticking again.
Time was running out. If they didn’t repair the damage done by the cows soon, they would lose this year’s growing season altogether, and all the crops which came with it too.
What happened was still her responsibility.
She had been the one to bring Ashley into their fold, and even though she couldn’t be held directly responsible for Ashley’s actions, she still believed that it was down to her to make amends.
But how? She had about two and a half hours to work it out.
An hour into the drive, she still had nothing.
The day was balmy, soft and airy, the horizon expanding around her as she left the towns behind.
Fields and trees rolled by. The powdery blue of the sky was dotted with wisps of cloud, and here and there, birds wheeled about, spiralling as they rode the thermals high above her.
Verges were filled with burgeoning greenery, hedgerows were spotted with colour and wildflowers filled any gap they could find.
It lowered her blood pressure, made her heart sing too – but it also stole away the urgency of her thoughts, leaving them to drift and sway…
Gemma had long since lost sight of Leo, his elderly van still possessing far more horsepower than she had, and every now and again her thoughts strayed back to him too.
Wondering what he was thinking about, wondering how he was feeling.
That his future lay entwined with that of the farm she was certain, but where did she fit into things?
There was still so much to resolve. But the thought that they might do so together brought a smile to her lips, and she drove on.
By the time she hit the halfway point in her journey, she was beginning to panic.
Thoughts flitting first one way and then the other.
Settling on an idea for only a few seconds before dismissing it and darting off at a tangent.
Ticktock, ticktock… She was running out of time.
The farm was running out of time… She slowed as the car in front of her braked before turning through a set of gates on her left and, as she followed its direction of travel, her eyes widened with sudden realisation.
Time wasn’t the problem at all. They had all the time in the world; they just needed to harness it.
And, as she took in the detail of what lay beside the road, she suddenly saw how.
As expected, Leo reached Thistledown before her, but as she neared the farm she was surprised to see all three of them – Leo, Rowan and Willow – standing by the entrance to the track, waving wildly as she approached.
She tumbled from the car, leaving the engine running, and practically fell into Willow’s waiting hug, her feet unsteady on the still rutted ground.
‘I’m so sorry,’ said Willow, her chest heaving. ‘This morning has been horrible, watching the minutes tick by until you arrived. But you’re here now, that’s all that matters. I was scared you wouldn’t come back at all.’
‘I was scared you wouldn’t want me back,’ replied Gemma, pulling away to turn to Rowan. He held his arms wide.
‘I’ve been the biggest idiot.’ His voice was full of emotion.
‘I should have said something, anything to make you stay, but…’ His face took on a pained expression.
‘My head was so full of noise, I couldn’t get the words out.
But the thought of you not being here… We’re in a mess, things are broken, damaged and hanging by a thread, but your leaving left a bigger hole than anything the cows have done. It’s right that you’re back with us.’
And it was. It was exactly how Gemma was feeling. Her life had felt like it was free-falling over the last couple of days, but here she was on solid ground. It was a good place to sink her roots.
She glanced back towards her car, still blocking the road, her door wide open. ‘I should…’
‘Yes, yes, come in… Let’s get you settled.’
The three of them moved back so that Gemma could manoeuvre her way along the track, bumping and jolting with each and every pothole.
There was another surprise waiting for her as Willow pushed open the kitchen door.
With an excited ‘woof’, Mulligan bounded through the doorway, launching himself at Leo.
His welcome was ecstatic, but two seconds later he spotted Gemma and, body wiggling like crazy, he switched his attention to her, barely able to contain his excitement.
But he did, and she was reminded yet again how thoughtful Leo had shown himself to be.
She dropped to her knees and hugged the dog tight, even submitting to the polite ‘kiss’ which he couldn’t resist giving her.
She had missed him, she realised. His was another solid and reassuring presence, just like his master’s.
‘I’ve made a big breakfast,’ said Willow, eyes sparkling. ‘I wasn’t sure if you would have eaten.’
‘Will there be toast, and Rowan’s marmalade?’
‘There will, and croissants, apple butter… cinnamon buns, the biggest pot of coffee and a few early strawberries, too. Whatever you like.’
‘Then I’m starving.’ She glanced at the clock on the wall. It wasn’t even ten o’clock, yet it felt as if it ought to be the middle of the afternoon. She smiled. There was time doing its weird thing again.
Rowan tried to apologise for the second time as soon as they were settled around the table, but Gemma shook her head.
‘Please, no recriminations. What happened was a horrible thing. A horrible thing and a terrible shock. We’re human, we react instinctively, and I’m as guilty as anyone of doing that. ’
‘We were angry, Gemma, angry and scared. But we shouldn’t have let you go.’
‘But I was the one who brought Ashley to the farm.’ She picked up the jar of marmalade and helped herself to another golden spoonful.
‘So, no more talk of blame or what’s happened in the past. We have a big job ahead of us, and that’s where we need to focus all our energy.
Tell me where we’re at with everything.’
‘Okay, well, the only good bit of news is that the farmer who owns the cows is going to make good the track for us. He’s coming up this afternoon with various bits of machinery, some materials and a couple of his lads who he says will get the job done.
It’s not helping with the most crucial aspect of our problem necessarily, but even though the track wasn’t in the best of condition before, we simply don’t have the money to get it repaired.
So that’s one less thing to worry about. ’
Gemma nodded. Given where her thoughts about the farm had travelled to, that was excellent news. ‘I should imagine the farmer was pretty keen to make amends.’
‘He was, and just as angry as we are about the whole thing. He’s got to sort out the damage that was done to his place, too, and like us, he doesn’t have a big heap of cash just lying around. He’s offered to help where he can though.’
‘You said that’s the only bit of good news. Is the rest as bad as you feared?’
‘It isn’t just the loss to this year’s crops,’ said Willow.
‘But the knock-on effect that has for next year. We don’t just lose the food we plan on eating straight away, we also lose the surplus we were planning to sell.
A surplus which will pay for next year’s seeds and plants. Without that, the cycle ends.’
Gemma nodded. It was a stark reality.
‘About that,’ she said. ‘When I originally came here, it was to help you with the farm, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
So the garden, lovely though it could be, is not a priority, and I don’t think it ever should be.
It’s a drain on resources for no real return, and I got so caught up in the excitement of its discovery, I lost sight of that, and I’m sorry. ’
Rowan raised his eyebrows. ‘I thought you said no recriminations?’ He shot a look at Willow, smiling gently. ‘Plus, now might be a good time to tell you that one of the things which Willow and I did yesterday evening was to sit down and think about what we wanted Thistledown to be.’
Willow leaned forward. ‘Do you remember after we had the break-in that I said to you how experience has taught Rowan and I that we’ll always have enough?
Even if we have to redefine what our definition of enough is?
So that’s what we’ve been doing. Because the wonderful thing about enough is that it’s such a simple word and yet it’s imbued with extraordinary power.
We are enough. We have enough. Say those things and it cuts through both the legacies of the past and any anxiety you’re feeling about the future.
It grounds you. It makes you think only in the present.
There’s a peace in that, but there’s also incredible freedom…
‘We want a life here which is the very best it can be, so it is about what we do here, but, just as importantly, it’s also about how that makes us feel.
We still need to grow our own produce, but maybe we don’t need to sell as much of it as we thought.
And if that’s the case then it doesn’t become about growing as much as we can, but instead about how many other things we choose to spend our time on.
And the garden is absolutely one of those.
Who wouldn’t want a thing of such beauty?
’ She grinned. ‘It’s non-negotiable, Gemma. It’s staying.’
‘Willow’s right when she talked about legacies of the past,’ said Rowan.
‘But we can still honour its traditions by making them a part of our present. I like to think that Flora and Edmund would approve of that. Would approve of everything we try to do here.’ He gave his wife a warm smile.
‘Now all we need is the blueprint for how we do that moving forward. That, and the small matter of what we do about our more immediate problem, of course.’
Gemma’s thoughts were racing. She had all but discounted her dream of restoring the garden, but now…
There was still so much to do. Would they ever be able to realise it all?
The philosophy behind the ideas she had for the future of the farm was sound, but it was a gamble – she had no clue whether anyone would even be interested.
Willow and Rowan were still looking at her, waiting…
She glanced at Leo, who was sitting back in his chair, mug in hand, looking as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
Catching her look, he smiled. ‘I know you’ve got an idea up your sleeve, Gem, you always do.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘But please tell me you have, because I’ve waxed lyrical about your problem-solving abilities.’
‘At length I might add,’ said Willow, smirking slightly.
Gemma swallowed a mouthful of coffee. ‘I do have an idea, as it happens. Although I’m not sure you’re going to like it…’
Leo put down his mug. Willow leaned forward and Rowan uncrossed his legs. ‘And?’ he said.
‘I think we should throw open the gates. Fill Thistledown with as many people as we can…’