Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
CALLUM/CASH
Then
The One Mistake That Still Breathes
The past doesn’t knock. It smiles like it never left.
“He’s an asshole.” My heart pounds and I slam the front door of my ma’s trendy one-story three-bedroom house in North Hollywood.
The entryway leads into a colorful open-concept living room and dining room area. It’s nothing like the Hemingses’, but it’s perfect for us.
My ma’s sitting at a square glass table in the dining area, going over images from her latest shoot. “What’s with the attitude, Bubba?”
“Hey, Ma. It’s not you.” I march over to the window and peer toward the two-bedroom guesthouse on our property where my uncle lives. “Have you seen Uncle John?”
“He’s been working all afternoon.” Her bright blue eyes flick to the back of the house.
Right as she glances that way, he strolls through the back door, appears from the laundry room, and makes his way through the galley kitchen wearing faded jeans and nothing more.
“Cash. You get things worked out with Livianna?”
“Yes, no thanks to you.” I straighten my back and glare.
“I tried to tell you last night she was pushing the prick off.” He gives a little shrug. “I had to do something—”
“You told me three days ago you were gonna help me get out of this nice guy, boy band reputation by stirring up trouble and controversy, but you didn’t tell me you were gonna use Livianna to do it.” I curl my hands into fists.
I never would’ve agreed to it if I had known. He must have had this planned since I told him she was gonna be at the show.
He grabs a beer out of the fridge and joins my ma and me. “We got the intended results, so what’s the problem?”
“John…” My mom pushes her chair back, brings her feet to the seat, and hugs her knees. “Bubba, he’s trying to help you. In this business, sometimes things have to be manipulated to get what you want.”
“Yeah, I know, but now the whole world thinks Livianna’s cheating on me. And we just started dating.” I clench my teeth. “She shouldn’t be involved. It’s not cool to make her look trashy.”
“She’s the star, Cash.” My uncle pops the lid off his beer and slouches on a large contemporary ocean blue sectional couch that has lounge-type seating on one side. “It was by luck that her co-star was there. I used what I could without making it seem manufactured.”
I rake my hand through my hair and glance away. He’s not wrong, but Lily can’t be a part of it.
My ma twists her long dark hair up into a messy bun. “Get yourself a beer and let’s figure this out as a family.”
I nod and follow her recommendation. “Do you want a vodka soda?”
“Yes, please.” She stands and her pink tracksuit drowns her skinny frame.
After fluffing two bright yellow decorative pillows, she joins my uncle on the couch. I have to admit, she did well with this place.
It’s artistic and has an edge to it. A black-and-white striped rug is on the floor, but the stripes don’t align.
Near the fireplace in the corner is a cream-colored oversized chair. A glass coffee table in the middle of the room is a miniature replica of the dining room table.
Just thinking of how much she’s been through makes me realize my problems are nothing compared to hers. I finish getting our beverages and meander back into the area with my irritation leveling off. I hand my ma her drink.
“Thanks, Bubba.” She scoots closer to my uncle to give me space.
“I’m good over there.” I point to the big chair across from them. “Is there a way to keep Livianna out of this?”
My uncle nods. “You can always go back to the original suggestion and take a bunch of high-profile girls out, never seeming to really like any of them.”
“What’s the point in that?” I take a swig of my beer.
“After a couple of ‘accidental’ candids behind the scenes, you’ll get a reputation for being a rockstar playboy.” He stretches his legs out and crosses them at the ankles. “You’ll be the bad boy every woman wants but can’t have.”
“No, I’m not doing that. Livianna is my girlfriend. End of the discussion.” I gaze at my ma. “What would Pops have done?”
A flash of sadness strikes through her eyes, but she blinks it away. “He’d party a little harder than he wanted.”
“You mean get out and be seen more?” I lean forward, giving her my full attention.
Getting out would be easy as long as I can have Livianna with me. There might be an opportunity here, but my ma and uncle give each other a weird look.
The muscles over my ribs tighten. “What?”
My uncle studies me for a moment. “Let the paps get a hold of a few risqué photos to run that show you off in a different light.”
“Such as…?”
My ma leans toward me. “You use, Bubba, but the public doesn’t know it. Let them catch you like it’s some scandal.”
“No one gives a shit about smokin’ weed anymore, Ma. That wouldn’t be a story, especially for a lead singer of a band.” I rest back and take another drink.
“Then ramp it up a little.” My ma peeks over at my uncle. “What do you think?”
“If he doesn’t want to use women as part of the bad boy image, drugs are the next best thing.” My uncle stands and leaves the room.
The back door closes, signaling he has left.
I narrow my eyes. “Ma, are you serious about this?”
“It could work.” She gives me a seemingly fake smile. “Just be careful about it.”
“Meaning?”
“Use responsibly.” Her gaze lands on her lap. “We can teach you how much you can handle. That way you know exactly when to stop.”
“Like you do when you’re on location?”
“It’s exhausting out there. I need something to keep me alert and on point.” She peeks up at me. “It’s how I survived Milan/Seoul forty-eight-hour turnarounds.”
I huff in disbelief. “You’re really suggesting this?”
“You’re going to run into it sooner or later.” Her voice comes out quiet and timid. “I’d rather be the one to show you how to manage it than someone out there who doesn’t care pushing it on you.”
My brain scrambles. What the fuck? Most parents wouldn’t dream of letting their child do something like this. I spin in that thought for a moment while my ma sips on her cocktail, staring at me.
The back door opens and closes. My uncle reappears with something in his hand.
He sits on the edge of the couch, tosses a few overdue bills aside, and places a small bag of white powder on the table. “Your choice, Cash. Shall we?”
I scrape my teeth over my lower lip with my gaze sliding between them. These two are my family. They wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.
They know how much I want out of Ur Boyz and think being a part of it is drawing in the wrong type of fans. Maybe this is the answer.
My uncle gestures to the coke. “You’ve seen people do blow before and it’s never bothered you. What’s your hang-up now?”
My mind goes blank. “I don’t know. It just feels…wrong.”
“It’s not conventional, but in our world nothing is.” My ma picks up the bag and empties some onto the glass table. “I know how much I can handle and so does John. If you let us guide you, everything will be fine.”
“It could even be fun.” My uncle pulls out his wallet. “Whadda ya say, kid?”
A flash of Lily’s face all over the tabloids burns through my thoughts. Brutal. End of story. She doesn’t deserve the scrutiny.
I’m trading one poison for another, but at least it’s my bloodstream, not Livianna’s.
“I guess it can’t hurt, and it keeps Lily out of it.” I nod. “Teach me what you know.”
They cut a few lines with a credit card and each take their turn, snorting it through a short metal straw. My stomach spins with wild anticipation and confusion. One part a little scared and one part excited.
My uncle waves me over. “Just do a small bump and see how you feel.”
I swallow my reserves with the last of my beer, go over to the table, and kneel next to it. My uncle splits a line in two.
He hands me the straw. “It’s gonna burn a bit and taste like shit as it runs down your throat, but give it a second and you’ll forget about that.”
I glance at my ma.
She dips her chin with a smile. “We won’t let anything go wrong. Just enjoy.”
I take the cue and follow their directions. I do the line and my eyes instantly water. My nose burns and the nasty medicinal taste slides down my sinuses. I almost gag, but then it hits. It’s nearly indescribable at first.
My stress fades away and I feel like I have the answers to all my problems. A smile spreads across my face and my ma and uncle laugh.
“That’s my brave son.” Ma takes the straw from me and does another line as I bask in her words of pride at me being her brave son.
It’s been a long time since I felt that coming from her. She loves me. That I know, but I’m not sure I’ve ever thought she was proud of me. It’s the best I’ve felt in a long time.
Two Weeks Later
I pull into the driveway of the Hemingses’ estate with my ma in the passenger seat. Ur Boyz have been doing shows every night for the last two weeks and Livianna just finished filming for the season. We’ve barely seen each other.
“I’m excited for you to meet Lily.” I park my car off the side of the circular drive where they have an area for other vehicles to park. “Thanks for coming tonight, Ma.”
“It’s your birthday, Bubba. I wouldn’t miss this.” Ma fixes a wisp of hair that’s fallen from her updo in the visor’s mirror. “Livianna sounds wonderful and I adore Lorna.”
“I forget you two are friends.”
“If it weren’t for Lorna and me, you and Livianna never would’ve met.” She flips the visor up and opens her door.
We leave the car and stroll up to the mansion, which is now decorated with white Christmas lighting lining every window, awning, and edge of the house. It sets the mood for an elegant holiday party.
It’s really Ember From Denver’s wrap party, but the Hemingses are combining it with my birthday and a holiday extravaganza. They’re expecting a large crowd. It’s gonna be packed tonight.
The door opens as soon as we step up to it. Holiday music spills out as a butler appears, welcomes us in, takes our jackets, and offers us a glass of sparkling wine.