Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
CALLUM/CASH
Then
The Deal That Came From Her Blood
Every deal drips red when it’s signed with what you can’t get back.
My ma faces me with the sadness in her eyes she has when discussing my pops. “Bubba, John feels awful. He swears he does.”
“Fuck him. He keeps hurting her and that makes him dead to me.” I seethe inside and help Livianna get dressed.
Not only has he caused so much misery for her, but his actions from yesterday took away my child. He’s gonna pay.
My ma shifts around, wringing her hands together as she keeps her concerned eye on Livianna. Every time she grimaces or winces, I fall deeper into an abyss of rage and guilt.
One second, my body is numb and empty. The next, I want to hit the wall or strangle my uncle. Other than when I lost my pops, this is by far the worst moment of my life.
I have Livianna sit on the side of the bathtub once I have a clean pair of yoga pants on her. “We need to change the sheets and then I’ll get you back into bed.”
“Can you help me to the trundle bed next to my window? I can lie down there.” Her empty gaze finds mine and she fakes a smile.
My heart shatters and falls apart in a million pieces. “Of course.”
I lift her in my arms and carry her to the other room, where I lay her down with the sun beaming over her. She’s beautiful even under all this stress. I swallow a sudden urge to take her in my arms while we both cry over our loss.
I turn to her bed. There’s a pool of blood covering the blankets. My stomach roils and my chest fills with disgust.
My ma starts stripping the covers off the mattress. “I’ll get these in the washer so they don’t stain. Do you have an extra set?”
“They’re in the linen closet.” Livianna pulls a fluffy dusty rose blanket up to her shoulders. She points to her open bedroom door in the direction of the hallway.
Bren peeks his head in and toward my ma. “What the fuck happened?”
She spins to him. “Brendan, could you direct me to where I can find clean sheets so I can get a new set for Livianna’s bed?”
“Um…” He scans the room.
The tense but somber mood isn’t hard to detect. It beats around us as if it has a pulse of its own. His eyes scroll over my face. I’m not sure what he picks up from me, but he nods like he understands.
“Let me show you where they are.” He waves my ma on to follow him. “Everything we need is down the hall.”
My ma leaves with Bren. I rip the rest of the depressing memory of what we could’ve had off the mattress and work the material into a ball. Every time a speck of blood catches my eye, I die a little more inside.
“Callum.” Livianna brings me out of my thoughts.
“Yes, Lily.”
“Are you mad at me?”
I take two strides to get to her side. “No, love. I’m just…”
I don’t know what to say to her. Anything could come across wrong and that’s the last thing she needs.
She places her palm on my face. “You don’t think my panic attack last night and taking my medicine made this happen, do you?”
“No! This was because of what my uncle did.”
“How do you know for sure? I’ve done this before. I killed her.”
What the fuck does she mean by that?
I stare into her eyes, trying to figure out her words. Her pupils are the size of pinpricks. The painkillers have kicked in and she must be feeling it. That’s why she’s not making any sense.
“Lily, you didn’t have anything to do with this.”
She lowers her hand and turns to face the window. “You know, I don’t feel that bad anymore. It’s weird. I feel kinda good. Relaxed, like nothing matters.”
“Yeah, that’s the medicine my ma gave you. That’s what it does.”
“She’s a good mom. I’m glad she’s here for us.” Livianna sinks her head back into a pillow. “My mom wouldn’t be so nice.”
“She might surprise you.”
“I don’t think so. You know it’s better this way.”
Something about Livianna’s statement crashes against my heart like a demon is stomping on it and is about ready to pound it into the gates of hell.
I crease my brows. “What is?”
“This situation is easier now. We don’t have to deal with it.”
“It?” I lose my breath as the demon rams his iron foot into the muscle that beats inside my chest. “You mean we don’t have a baby to think about anymore? That’s better?”
“I’m not mad at your uncle.” She turns her head my way. “Maybe he did us a favor.”
I’m about to lose my temper when I remember she’s high as fuck right now. This isn’t her talking. It’s the drugs.
I push myself up and try to hide my trembling hands by shoving them in my pockets. “I’m gonna get you something to eat. You could use some food so the painkillers don’t make you sick.”
“Oh, maybe that’s why I feel a little nauseous. I thought it might be because…” She releases a deep sigh and gazes back out the window. “Yogurt and toast sound good.”
“Yeah, okay.” I leave her room fuming.
I can’t be angry with her when I know once she comes down, she’s gonna feel ten thousand times worse than she does now. It’s not something I’m looking forward to. And that realization has my thoughts racing about ways I will get my revenge on my uncle.
A Day Later
Bren places his phone down on the kitchen counter. “My parents come back on Sunday, so we have a few more days until Livianna has to face them.”
“My ma got her an appointment for tomorrow, so that’s plenty of time to make sure she’s okay. Hopefully, Livianna will come down here before then.”
“You ever gonna tell me what happened yesterday? I know she miscarried, but something seems off. You’re pissed at the world and it’s more than what she’s dealing with.”
“I’m going through it too, dickface.”
“See, right there. I’m not the enemy, Cash.”
I down half my beer, wanting to tear anyone apart. “Since my ma left last night, I can’t get my mind off wanting to make someone pay.”
“For what?”
“This whole damn thing.” I point to the back staircase. “Livianna won’t come out of her room. She won’t talk to me. I can’t get through to her. She’s living on the painkillers my ma left her, so she’s not even making sense.”
“Come on, Cash. She’s dealing with something pretty huge.”
“I get that, Guns, but she keeps talking about how she probably killed it. How maybe it’s her fault because she’s done it before.”
Bren’s face goes white. “She’s done what before?”
“That’s my question. I thought she was a virgin before me. Is that even true? Did she miscarry before she knew me?” My heart aches just saying those words.
“Back the fuck off my sister, Cash.” His chest heaves. “You’re the only guy she’s been with.”
“Then what the hell is Livianna talking about? Who’s this her she keeps mumbling she killed?”
Bren stares distantly into my eyes as he drinks the rest of his beer. Once he’s done, he rises to his feet and gets another one. He keeps his back to me, but the muscles in his shoulders are like steel.
“Guns, what the fuck are you two hiding?”
“Nothing.” Bren pops the top off his bottle and turns back to me. His expression returns to normal, as if he purposely put on a mask. “Want another?”
“No. What I want is the truth.” I scrape my teeth over my bottom lip, about to draw blood. “I don’t lie to you guys. Why is it okay for you to do it to me?”
He takes a swig and then nods. “I’ll make you a deal.”
“What?”
“Tell me what really happened and I’ll tell you about Livianna.”
“Fine, but when I do, you’re gonna wanna kill someone just like I do. You ready for that?”
“Sure. I’ve got nothing to lose.”
“Except your dreams.” I leave it hanging in the air.
If Bren is serious, he has the right to know it’ll change everything for him. He glances at the floor, clinking a ring he wears on his middle finger against his beer bottle, seemingly thinking about something.
He raises his gaze to me. “Tell me.”
The memory replays in my head and my entire body shivers in repulsion. “My uncle found out about her being pregnant and we got into a brawl. He knocked me out. When I came to, she was on the floor and he was kicking the living shit out of her stomach.”
“And you didn’t kill him then?”
“My ma stopped everything.” Acid crawls up my throat. “He left and you came in not much after.”
“He’s a dead man.” Fire covers Bren’s eyes.
“And our manager.” I release a low, disgusted laugh. “And my family. My ma’s begging me to forgive him.”
“Why?”
“She says he tried meth for the first time that day and mixed it with alcohol. The results speak for themselves, but she insists he’s sorry and wants to make it up to us because he feels awful.”
“So what? We owe him nothing.”
“We do, though. He’s the one with the connections. He knows the producers. My ma keeps saying there’s something bigger to worry about. If we cut ties with him, there’s no doubt he’ll take us out of the game forever.”
“Fuck, bro. This is a shit situation.” Bren stalks over to the casual dining room table, pulls out a chair, and sits. “Now what?”
“That’s another one of my questions.” I find a seat next to him with my limbs numb and cold. “We need him, but I wanna kill him.”
“Yeah, I see the dilemma.” He rests his head back in his clasped hands and stares at the ceiling. “Livianna can’t be near him.”
“I know.” My insides twist. “I just don’t know how that works when she’s my girlfriend and he’s my uncle and manager.”
Bren shakes his head and gazes my way. “She’ll never tour with us if he’s around.”
“Yeah, we agree, Guns.” I growl and finish my beer. “There’s a way out of this. I just can’t see it yet.”
“Right. We’ll figure it out together.”
There’s a moment of silence as we try to break away from the web we seem to have gotten stuck in. We’re not gonna figure it out tonight.
“It’s your turn, Guns. Tell me about Livianna.”
“What about me?” Her question steals our attention.
I turn my head to see her taking the last step down from the staircase.
Bren faces her way. “Cash was just asking if he should be worried about you…cutting on yourself.”