Chapter 12
LIV
This last week has felt like a fever dream.
My mind is filled with thoughts of Caleb and Daisy.
My email is full of quotes and ideas for my new cupcake stand.
And my heart is alternately racing with excitement and threatening to stop with fear.
It doesn’t help that everywhere I go, I get looks of envy or disdain.
I’ve spent the years since school trying to melt into the scenery of this town.
Now everyone notices me. And whether they think it’s great, think it’s awful, or just don’t get it, they all feel pretty free to talk to me about it.
It’s all I can do to get through a shift at work without someone sharing their detailed thoughts on my personal life.
More guys have been trying to flirt with me. I guess the fact that I caught Caleb Stone’s eye makes me seem hotter in theirs.
Some of the women give me nods of respect, or look me up and down as if to try and figure out what I’ve got that’s so special that it would attract a hockey star.
One or two have pulled me aside to ask how I lost the weight—as if that’s the reason I finally landed a man.
It’s not mean spirited—they’re clearly all happy for me and not one has asked why I lost the weight.
I’m sure if they had, they would have been disappointed with my answer, that it was for my health—not to try and find a man.
And a few of the women I’ve known since high school roll their eyes, or give me sympathetic glances, like I’ve got Stockholm Syndrome or something.
Do I? Was I only ever attracted to Caleb Stone because he was cold and cruel? Was I convinced that I deserved to be with someone like that?
But I don’t think so. I think I was mostly just attracted to his unbelievably good looks back then—that, and the protection he could have given me, if he’d decided I mattered enough to even learn my name.
But everything is different now.
He’s still quiet, but there’s depth to his silences now. And what I like about him most is the gentle side I see when he’s with Daisy.
He makes me feel good about myself too, not just his compliments but the way he’s been opening up to me bit by bit. It’s like I’m taming a wild animal.
It’s hard to really explore my feelings though, because on top of everything else, Caleb has been in constant practices and I’ve been working a ton of shifts, so we haven’t really seen each other.
Robert agreed to take me off the schedule at the diner for all the game times, which is a huge win. I was so pleased and surprised when he told me that he was proud of me and hoped the stand was a big success. I guess all those extra shifts I’ve worked over the years have paid off.
Meanwhile, I’m hoping I can take all those dates off and still keep a roof over my head. Who knows how many cupcakes will actually sell?
I talked with Hailey and Tessa about it. About all of it, even though Caleb’s agent wanted to swear me to secrecy. My best friends are like family, and I’ll probably need their help pulling this off anyway.
“Are you sure about all this?” Tessa asked when I explained about Caleb.
I told her I was, but if I’m being honest, I’m not really sure I’m sure.
But no matter what I think, it’s happening. I can decide when it’s all over if I’m glad that I helped him.
Both my besties are super excited for me about the cupcake stand. And Hailey immediately insisted on investing, which took all my worries about setup costs off the table. She also agreed to work the stand with me.
Sometimes knowing about Hailey’s family money makes me a little uncomfortable. But right now, accepting her helping hand is a lifesaver.
“What if it fails?” I asked a few nights ago, when I was having second thoughts. “What if I lose all your money?”
“No way,” she told me. “I let my parents know what you were doing and that I wanted to invest. My dad said, and I quote, Finally, an investment that makes sense. Besides, Liv, I can afford to take a risk on someone I care about.”
Her words made me tear up, and that made her laugh and hug me so hard I could barely breathe.
And so the days have passed in a haze of work and plans for the stand, and suddenly, it’s time for the second of Caleb’s two preseason games.
Travis was clear that I had to attend all of Caleb’s games from now on. And since the cupcake stand isn’t quite ready to go, I’ll be watching this one, not working it.
I come home from my shift to shower and get dressed, and I’m ready to go just as there’s a knock on my door. A fresh jolt of worry shivers down my spine, and my stomach twists as I head for the door.
I haven’t seen Caleb all week, and now we’re going to be heading to the game together, pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
But when I open the door to reveal Daisy and her dad, both looking really excited to see me, my heart warms and my worries melt away.
“Liv,” Daisy says, holding her hands up with both her index fingers curled in, and moving them toward me.
“Daisy has a present for you,” Caleb says. “And so do I. Whose present should she get first, Daisy?”
Daisy laughs and points at her daddy.
“Okay then,” Caleb says, holding out a bag to me. “Liv, this is for you to wear today.”
I thought I looked pretty nice with my favorite jeans and a light cardigan, but maybe Travis had something specific in mind. I hope he doesn’t expect me to be dressed to the nines all the time. I can’t really wear a ballgown when I’m selling cupcakes.
“Thank you,” I tell him. “Let me go change.”
But when I get to my room and open the bag, it’s a Stallions jersey. It’s got 58 on the sleeve, and sure enough, when I turn it around it says Stone.
My heart starts racing as I pull it on and look at myself in the mirror.
I know what it means to wear a player’s jersey, and I know this is just part of our game of pretend. But for just a second I gaze in the mirror and let myself believe that I’m really Caleb Stone’s girlfriend.
Then I get a flash of my old self staring back at me. Her angry red skin and round form are much more familiar than the pretty young woman I see in the mirror these days. She is who I feel like.
We might look different in most ways, but we have the exact same green eyes, and right now they’re filled with confusion.
How could I do this to her?
Am I making a fool of myself?
I promised her that if we could hold out until high school was over that we’d be happier, that we’d be safe.
I’m the version of herself she was trying to protect every time she didn’t let them see her cry, every time she didn’t push back or get in trouble.
Why am I not protecting us now?
Do I really believe that Caleb Stone won’t send us right back to that abyss of pain?
Tears prickle my eyes and I blink them back, feeling weak, and trying to remember why I’m doing this in the first place.
Maybe it’s not too late to take it all back.
“Liv?” Daisy says from just outside the door, giving me just the reminder I need.
“Sorry,” Caleb calls to me. “She’s just excited to give you your present. Take your time. We’ll be here.”
I take a deep breath and open the door. Daisy is so excited her whole face is lit up.
Meanwhile, Caleb is looking me up and down, his eyes flashing like seeing me in his jersey has him geared up for some reason.
“You have a present for me?” I ask Daisy, crouching down.
She makes that gesture again.
“That’s sign language,” Caleb explains. “Sometimes signs are easier than spoken words, so for now we use both.”
“A present?” I ask, mimicking the sign.
“Yes,” Daisy says, smiling and nodding.
She turns to her dad and holds out her hands and he pulls something out of his pocket and gives it to her.
She cups it in her palms tenderly, looking down at it like it’s precious before she offers it to me.
“Daisy made that herself,” Caleb says softly. “Just for you.”
But I’m too busy trying not to cry to respond.
It’s a macaroni bracelet, with hard noodles in the colors of a rainbow strung on a pipe cleaner. I picture Daisy working diligently to string each noodle, and how much time and care must have gone into this gift.
“Pretty,” Daisy says softly.
“It’s beautiful,” I tell her. “It’s the most beautiful bracelet I’ve ever seen. Is it really for me?”
The way she was holding it made me think that it might be hard for her to give it up, but Daisy grins at me and nods again.
“Thank you so much,” I tell her.
The next thing I know her arms are wound around my neck and she’s hugging me hard.
When she lets go, she points to the bracelet again.
“Yes, let’s put it on me,” I tell her, sliding it onto my wrist.
Caleb takes my hand in his and flips it to adjust the pipe cleaner and tighten it, tucking the end under one of the pasta beads.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs, holding onto my hand for an extra moment.
My breath catches and then I remember that of course he’s just talking about the bracelet. Daisy did do a beautiful job with it.
“I can’t believe I have such a beautiful bracelet and such a nice jersey,” I tell Daisy, earning a big smile.
“Sweater,” Caleb says matter-of-factly.
I look down at what I’m wearing, confused.
“Don’t let my dad hear you call it a jersey,” he explains. “To the old-timers, it’s always a sweater.”
“Good to know,” I say, meeting his gaze.
His eyes linger on mine for a moment before he turns away.
“Time to go to work,” he says.
“Daddy work,” Daisy says giggling as she does another sign, a look of absolute mischief in her merry brown eyes.
“That’s the sign for play,” Caleb says, chuckling. “Daisy teases me that my work is just playing.”
“I think maybe she’s right,” I say, mimicking the sign again, to Daisy’s delight.
“Great, now I’ve got two of them,” Caleb says to himself in mock indignation, marching to the door.
Daisy laughs and grabs my hand, and we head out too. She doesn’t let go even when I dig for my keys and lock the door with my other hand.