Chapter 14
LIV
Ipull another batch of cupcakes out of Hailey’s parents’ oven and shake my head in wonder at why Hailey would ever move out of this house.
The Morgans’ place is like something out of a magazine. I’ve been here before, but it’s not the kind of home you get used to after a few visits. All the little details are just astonishing, and there are plenty I didn’t even notice until I started coming here to make cupcakes.
For example, they have two double ovens. And baking cupcakes with a convection oven is faster and better. I planned to waste a batch or two figuring out the ovens but the very first one was probably the best I’d ever made.
And things go so quickly here with this much oven and countertop to work with—not to mention the half-empty Sub-Zero refrigerator.
Add a full-time housekeeper who ensures that every appliance and surface is clean enough to perform surgery on, and you’ve got the perfect baking center.
I started panicking last week when I realized I needed to make and store enough cupcakes to fill the stand.
But naturally, Hailey already had a plan. It’s been so much fun having her along for this adventure. And not just because of her parents’ beautiful kitchen.
“I’m really allowed to eat as many as I want?” she asks hopefully, bending over the latest batch that’s cooling on a rack.
They do smell incredible. This is my favorite simple vanilla cupcake. I’m also doing chocolate, carrot, and lavender for the stand.
“Of course,” I tell her. “That’s one of the perks.”
She grins and grabs herself one, peeling off the paper even though the thing is still so hot it’s practically steaming.
“Don’t you want to wait for frosting?” I ask her.
“No way,” she says. “It’s so good warm. Besides, this whole place smells incredible. I can’t resist.”
She’s not wrong. I went outside to grab something from my car earlier and when I opened the door to come back in, I had to smile as the welcoming scent of a professional bakery wafted out.
“So, I have a question for you,” Hailey says, sliding onto one of the stools at the massive kitchen island, her hands cupped around her treat like a red-headed squirrel. “Caleb snagged the contract for the stand for you as part of your arrangement, right?”
“Yes,” I tell her. “I didn’t have to apply or anything.”
“And he has a ton of money, right?” she continues, and doesn’t wait for an answer to that one. “So, why isn’t he investing in the stand?”
“I didn’t ask him, obviously,” I tell her as I start grabbing the ingredients for a couple of batches of carrot cupcakes. “But he’s in the minors now. I’m sure he’s being paid well, but not like before. And he could get injured at any time and his career would be over.”
“Sure,” Hailey says, nodding. “But, no offense, this wasn’t exactly a big investment.”
“He also has Daisy,” I remind her. “And he plans to support her and care for her for the rest of her life. Right now, it sounds like she has a lot of services that he’s paying for, and… well, anyway, she’s obviously his first priority, so I’m guessing that’s why he didn’t volunteer to invest.”
“That makes sense,” Hailey says. “I guess.”
She takes another bite of her cupcake while I start sifting flour.
A moment later, there’s a knock at the door and Hailey darts off to see who it is.
She returns with Tessa in tow. They’re both wearing guarded expressions.
“Hey, Tessa,” I say, wondering what’s up with them. “Want a cupcake?”
“Definitely,” Tessa says.
But she doesn’t grab one and wolf it down the way she normally would. Instead, she comes over to where I’m standing and puts a hand on my arm.
“Liv,” she says firmly. “We got you a present.”
“Oh,” I say, putting down my bowl. “Wow.”
“We really hope you’ll use it,” Hailey adds. “Not like that massage gift certificate we got for your birthday that time.”
“Sorry. I’m not really into letting strangers touch me,” I say, feeling guilty all over again about that gift certificate that’s sat forgotten in my desk for over a year now.
“Well, this time, we both think it’s important,” Tessa says. “This is something that we think will keep on giving for a long time.”
“If you use it,” Hailey says.
“It’s three sessions with Alice,” Tessa says.
“Alice?” I ask, wondering if that’s a manicurist or a stylist or what. I’m not usually into all that stuff, but I guess having my photo online all the time, it might be good for Caleb if I looked a little less casual.
“She’s a therapist,” Hailey says. “She has an office in Springton Views, so she’s close by, but not exactly local.”
“And she’s warm and nonjudgmental,” Tessa says. “She’s someone who can listen. Someone you don’t have to think will worry about you or feel differently about you if you tell her the truth about your feelings.”
“A therapist,” I echo, feeling moved but also a little betrayed.
I remind myself that these two people really do want what’s best for me.
“And if you want to keep going, she works on a sliding scale,” Tessa says. “She promised that she can work with your budget.”
I have a sneaky feeling that working with my budget might mean that Hailey will pick up the balance. But I would never insult her by asking outright.
I touch my finger to a stray crumb on the counter, trying to think.
“What you have with Caleb and Daisy is obviously complicated,” Hailey says, taking both my hands in hers and forcing my attention back to her. “And it’s not like everything else in your life is exactly easy either.”
“The cupcake stand is a big change,” I allow. “But it’s a good thing.”
“Will you go talk to her?” Tessa asks. “For us?”
I might be offended, except both of them have told me that they go to therapy themselves, so I know there’s no judgement here.
“Okay,” I allow. “I’ll give it a shot.”
“Let me know your schedule, and I’ll set up the first meeting for you,” Tessa says, as if she knows that I might passively resist by not getting around to calling. It’s a fair assumption.
“Fine,” I tell her, getting out my phone and handing it to her with my calendar app open.
She gets right to work on her own phone, I assume emailing or texting Alice’s office.
I really can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.
But the more I think about it, the more I realize maybe it is a good idea to talk with someone.
Especially since my feelings for Caleb are getting dangerously strong.
I don’t want to fall apart when our pretend relationship is over.
And I don’t think I have the tools to keep that from happening on my own.
“Tonight at five,” Tessa says, looking up from our phones. “Her contact and directions are in your calendar.”
That was quick.
“Okay,” I say. “Thank you.”
It will be four by the time these cupcakes are done, so I guess I don’t have time to chicken out.
“I’m so proud of you, Liv,” Hailey says excitedly, pulling me in for a hug.
Tessa wraps her arms around both of us and I close my eyes and feel thankful to have such good friends.
I have no idea what Alice will say about my past, or the decisions I’ve been making lately. It’s hard not to hope that she has some kind of emotional magic wand that she can wave over me and settle all the puzzle pieces in my head into place, so I can see the right way forward.
I know that’s not how therapy works. If it were, I would have gone years ago.
But my friends love me, and I’m ready to try.
If I can put in the work to get my body healthy, I can do this, too.