Chapter 6
— chapter six
To Evan’s dismay, Jeremy was waiting for him when he walked in the door barely an hour after he’d left the house. When the boy met his eyes, Evan wished he were anywhere else. He needed a few more minutes to come to terms with Leanna’s rejection.
Having to share it with his youngest felt like someone had taken a knife to his heart and twisted it. He felt like he was letting Jeremy down.
“I didn’t expect you to be here,” he muttered.
“Some of the guys had to eat fast before they went home. Plus, no way was I going to not learn how your visit went.” Little by little, all the excitement in his boy’s eyes faded. “So . . . how did it go, Daed?”
Even though it was probably plain as day how his visit to Leanna’s had gone, Evan still hesitated. Did he want to be this vulnerable in front of his son? No. No, he did not.
Taking his time, he pulled off his coat and hat. Only then did he come to the conclusion that there was nothing to do but be honest. “Not well.”
Jeremy studied his expression again before he walked into the dining room. After pushing aside the plate of macaroni and cheese he’d been eating, he sat back down at the table. “What happened?”
So many things. She’d been surprised to see him. She hadn’t seemed too excited about him bringing chocolate. He’d been clumsy and awkward. The opposite of how he’d hoped to be.
But he wasn’t going to tell Jeremy any of that. “Leanna isn’t interested in being courted.”
“Really?”
Jeremy’s incredulousness was almost comical. “Really, son.” Frowning at the half-eaten dish of pasta on the table, he murmured, “Where did the mac and cheese come from?”
“I made it.”
“Really?” And jah, he’d lightly mimicked his boy.
The boy’s lips twitched. “Really, Daed. Come get a bowl. It’s gut.”
“I will in a minute.” At the moment, he was certain that the pasta would feel like lead in his stomach.
“So, back to Leanna. Why doesn’t she want you calling on her? What’s wrong with you?”
“She didn’t say that her problem was with me. I mean, not me, specifically. It was more that she wasn’t interested in marrying again.”
“Ah.” His son exhaled, just like he was processing an important piece of news. “Well, I guess it has only been a year. Maybe you’re gonna have to wait a little bit longer until she’s done grieving.”
Evan wasn’t sure how much Leanna was grieving for Willis. She might be grieving for his death, but she didn’t seem all that upset to be living on her own.
Of course, she might not have wanted to tell him that.
“I don’t think time is what she wants. Leanna made it pretty plain that she’s not interested in marrying again. Not ever.”
“Not ever’s a long time.”
His youngest sounded so serious, it was hard not to chuckle. “Jah, son. It sure is.” He hadn’t thought he was hungry, but Jeremy’s supper did look good. “So, you said there’s some of that left?”
“Jah. I made a big pan of it. It’s still hot too. I kept it in the oven.”
“That makes my night much better.” He walked into the kitchen and washed his hands, took out the baking dish, and finally spooned a healthy amount into a bowl. There was a crunchy topping, and it was still piping hot. He didn’t think Rose could’ve done a better job.
“Want some water?” Jeremy asked.
“Jah. Danke,” he said as he returned to the table.
After saying a prayer and taking a couple of bites, Evan grinned. “You are going to make some woman very lucky, son. You cook as well as your mother did.”
“No one can cook as well as Mamm.”
“You’re close. This is excellent.”
“Danke.”
“Speaking of dating, it’s time for you to start looking around too, don’t you think?”
“I’m only seventeen, Daed. I have time.”
“Trip was married at nineteen.”
“Trip and Mary liked each other since Mary helped him with his homework when they were in their fifth or sixth year of school.”
Evan knew the story well. “And they became a couple when Trip helped her to her feet after she slipped on the ice.”
“Mary now says Trip carried her home.” Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I know for a fact that he only walked by her side.”
Evan seemed to remember that too, but he didn’t dare agree. “If that’s how Mary prefers to remember it, who are we to say it’s wrong?”
“Daed. This is Trip we are talking about. Maybe I could see Russell carrying a girl around. But Trip? No way.”
“Russell does have a bit of a romantic streak, doesn’t he?”
“I don’t know about that. I was thinking about his muscles.”
It was true. Russell, his second son, had been blessed with the body of a football player. Trip had a wirier build. “The Lord helps us all find the best person to spend our life with.”
“I know. All I’m saying is that I’m not Trip and I haven’t found my Mary yet.”
Unwilling for Jeremy to see his broad smile, Evan covered his mouth with his napkin. “I see your point.”
“And before you bring up Kurt, I know he and Katherine were engaged at nineteen. That’s not me, though.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t press. Though . . . are you sure there isn’t any young lady you’ve set your sights on?” Remembering a certain brunette with a pretty smile whom Jeremy used to talk with after church, he murmured, “What about Helen?”
The boy groaned. “Helen and me were like oil and water. We weren’t a good match.”
“Ah.” Thinking some more, he said, “Perhaps you should plan a trip to Pinecraft soon. I reckon that’s a wonderful-gut spot to meet some new girls. I’d be happy to help you pay for the bus ticket.”
“Danke, but I don’t want to go to Florida anytime soon. I’m in no hurry to go courting. Besides, I’d rather worry about you and Miss Mast.”
“You’d be wasting your time if you worried about her and me too much. Leanna was mighty firm. She doesn’t want a man in her life.”
Appearing to think about that, Jeremy shoveled in the last of his mac and cheese. “It’s because Willis wasn’t a very nice person, isn’t it?”
There were two ways to respond. Only one way was honest. “I don’t want to gossip, but I have a feeling that she wishes they’d had a happier union.”
Jeremy slumped. “I’m sorry, Daed.”
“I am too, but I’m going to respect her decision.
” He ate a few more bites of the pasta and washed them down with gulps of water.
Tried to feel at peace. Maybe even relieved.
He really had been a silly, awkward fellow when he’d knocked on Leanna’s door.
It would be a blessing not to have to embarrass himself again anytime soon.
“So that’s it?”
“It has to be.” He shrugged. “I had a wonderful marriage with your mother, Jeremy. To yearn for more would be greedy. I shouldn’t expect to find happiness again.”
“I don’t think Gott wants you to live the rest of your life unhappy either.”
“I’m not unhappy.”
His son’s eyes lit up. “Maybe you are the one who needs to visit Pinecraft.”
Evan couldn’t think of anything worse. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean ‘happiness.’ More like I shouldn’t expect to have a good relationship more than once in a lifetime. God has already been good to me. I need to count my blessings.”
Evan headed toward the kitchen to rinse off his plate. “It’s been a long day. I’m off to take a shower and then read.”
“Yeah. All right. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Gut naught, Jeremy.” Pausing in the doorway, he added, “I’m glad you were here to talk to. You helped.”
His son’s cheeks flushed before he looked away.
Evan felt lighter by the time he walked upstairs to his bedroom. Sure, he was disappointed about Leanna’s rejection, but he had many other things to be thankful for.
He’d had many good years with Rose, four sons, and even four grandchildren. He had his health too.
Those things were what counted. He needed to remember that.